Euphoria Vs. Disphoria

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    • #54084

      Hi All,
      I’m sure this has probably been discussed before, but please bear with me. I am in my mid sixties and have been on HRT for nearly three months now. There are times when I look in mirror and I am euphoric because I think I see progress from being on hormones. I think I see a softer, more feminine look and I am pleased. I can look look in the same mirror 24 hours or 48 hours later and I’m truly disappointed. I could swear there are no changes and I was simply fooling myself the day before. This has been happening on and off for a few weeks now. Are there others who feel or have felt the same? Just wondering as I am fairly new to this.

    • #54114

      I can relate to that.  I have the same dilemma.  When I have those ‘low’ feelings, I sit back and try to regroup to convince myself I am better than I think I am.  I think we take better care of ourselves in feminine appearance than we did in male mode.  It pays off in the end.  I can go out in guy mode and people will still address me as “ma’am”.  That’s very encouraging.  I have very long natural hair and I think its the catalyst for the initial feminine appearance in public.

      I hope once I’m in a new relationship, that my S/O will be complimenting me enough to keep up what I’m doing.  I currently have a GG friend who wants me to commit to her as Meran.  I nope it’s not another relationship mistake.

    • #82533

      Hello and its normal I think, I have been on HRT for almost 6 months. I spent the first 4 months looking everyday for something to stand out as a change. Softer skin, how would I know as i changed my bathing rituals and moisturised daily so softer or just lotioned? My skin is softer now, and while I dont have alot of breast developement it is happening, the painful breasts and nipples tell me it is. I take measurements once a month now to see the results. From 38 below the nips and 39 at the nip line, its now 38 below and 42 at the line. Still not really a great change but I realize that cis girls take a year or more to develope and continue throughout their lives, so time is on my side. Relax enjoy the small things you can feel, and the subtle things you think you see. Every week it becomes a little more clear, at least thats the way I feel.

      Best of luck in your journey hon!

      Hugs Traci Lynn

      PS; I didnt start till I was 57.

    • #82592

      Hi All,

      I have been on HRT for 5 years. I have very noticeable breast development. They are not overly large but a B cup on my larger frame. I can still wear loose shirts and not be fully noticed, but anything tighter like a sweater you definitely know. I am going for a full transition. The wait is long, but my insurance covers almost everything as long as Trump and the courts don’t mess it up. I have about 12 months until I have the first of seven procedures. It will probably take between a year to two to complete. In the meanwhile I am not full time because my job is global and there are clients that culturally I can not come out to. That really messes with my head. I spend as much time as possible as Steph and have come out to most of my family and close friends. My ex and my sons don’t know. It is a long story but they are all estranged because of a very bad divorce. I speak to one son only occasionally and the other I have not been able to talk to for over 16 years. They are very conservative Catholic’s and I feel that my transitioning would go over like a lead balloon. Otherwise I have been very lucky coming out to the rest of my family and friends. I have had about 100 hours of electrolysis. Most of it via high volume done in Chicago. Have to get down below done before my GAS surgery. Not looking forward to that. I am on my way and to the most part it has been good. HRT drops libido like a rock so make sure you are ready for that before you start. All the best in your journey and write me if you have any questions.

      Higs,

      Steph

    • #82677

      Hi Traci,

      I am in the same boat.  Started transitioning about 6 months ago now.  I. too. have seen changes.  I am a tight 38 under the breasts and about 42 around the widest part.  I have become a 40B (according to online calculators) in that time.  That thrills me.  Can’t tell under loose shirts but anything tighter they are noticeable.  Don’t need a bra for support yet, but I keep hoping.  I am also seeing curves around the ribs and my gender specialist thinks I will gain some booty.  Like you I measure every month.  Seems kind of anal but when you look at yourself in the mirror everyday it’s hard to notice changes.  Measuring helps with that as well as monthly pictures.  Compare month 1 to month 6.

    • #82688

      Jennifer,

      Don’t worry. Everybody is different. It too me over a year on HRT before I saw significant changes and I had a high Estrogen level to begin with. The changes are very subtile at forst for most of us, then they happen. You will see. HRT will not make you into a bombshell. That requires surgery. But it will make you feel more comfortable in your own skin. It will also drop your libido so be ready for that if it hasn’t happened already. Don’t take more hormones than the Dr. recommends, that will hurt you. I have been on a relatively low dose for 5 years and have maxed out my feminization through hormones. Now it is up to the surgeons.

      Be well and stay safe in these trying times

      Hugs,

      Steph

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