Facial Hair

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  • #117477
    Miles Blakely
    Participant

    Hello,

    I’m new to this site, but would really like to talk to some other trans guys. I don’t have any trans friends that understand issues I go through the way trans people would. I have an issue about facial hair I would like to hear feedback on.

    So, I’ve been on T for about 3 years now. I started growing facial hair pretty quick, soft stubble within the first few weeks of starting hormones. Nothing impressive like a thick fully beard, but some scruff. I am just now, after years, starting to grow enough hair on my lip that you can see a mustache. It’s been basically peach fuzz until now.

    Now, I am super excited about this and just being able to grow facial hair at all makes me feel so… right. Something I can’t explain in words, but real trans men know what I mean. But my girlfriend doesn’t like my facial hair and always gets upset when I don’t shave it.
    My girlfriend is so sweet and supportive, and she’s doesn’t mean anything by this. I know she just doesn’t prefer facial hair in general, on anyone. But it’s still difficult when she just won’t listen and understand why it means something to me.
    I don’t even like to have a long beard or anything like that. I just feel like I need a bit of stubble on my face or I get disphoric and feel like I look like a lesbian. But she just doesn’t understand. She tells me ‘oh no you look like a guy with or without the facial hair. You don’t look anything like a girl even without the stubble. Etc’.  But that’s not the way I feel, and she can’t seem to understand.

    I wanted to talk to someone about this issue (and also to brag about my new mustache that’s starting to actually come in after so long, that I’m very excited and proud of.  I don’t have anyone else to share it with really.) But thoughts and stories about how I should deal with this would be something I would happily listen to.

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    • #117492

      Hi Miles i understand just where you re coming from ive been on T for 20 years completely transistioned for 6. My moustache is quite thick now although blond and soft but it has taken many years to achieve that. My beard is only a goatee which i grow long. Ive never shaved any of it as i have a rather soft face and need the hair to define my masculinity. I love my facial hair although my wife, who ive been with for 33 years does not. She identufies solely as a lesbian and although we stay tigether due to our age and actually loving each other as partners in life, she wishes i had never transitioned. I would say to you to examine the basis of your relationship closely to find out why your partner really is against your displaying such a fundamental aspect of your masculinity. I wish my wife and i had listened more closely to each other to the little signs that actually would have showed us that our relationship would not survive my transition. We stay together now becsuse of age im 60 she is 69 and we are financially dependent not because we are in love anymore. If someone hadd told me 20 yesrs ago thst my wife not wanting me to grow facial hairvwas an indication of future problems i would have done some serious sole searching and asked her some serious questions. Save some future heartsche. Hope this doesnt discoursge you.

    • #117480

      Hello Miles , wasn’t quite sure to reply but I thought what the heck – I’m M to F all done now , could use some revisions myself but it’s interesting to me that the dysphoria is actually the same going either way – don’t forget that a male born with the characteristics of guy stuff down below is still 50 % female ( XY the male ) and the default physical and basic gender  is female ( XX ) – but I ” Get It ” your brain obviously ended up with more testosterone during gestation as a tiny fetus and you feel MALE – I was never really hairy growing up as a so called guy , some guys are ,it’s just there genetics , it takes up till for men around 26 years old to fully see from 13 years old the total changes and gals from around 11 to about 24/25 – the first 5 years there’s not much guys deal with having facial hair growth and obviously you want it and unlike myself I don’t  , it’s a long process of years , you can promote hair growth just by shaving and when the hair becomes mature after years shaving you’ll have what you want – for myself holy crap I don’t want it for obvious  reasons – be your self , all is good – Krystal , BC , Canada

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