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I have many fears I’m scared of bees, wasps, centipedes, those are rational they can sting and or bite you. I’m scared at the thought of an asteroid crashing into the earth ending life. That’s more of an existential fear I know it could happen but it’s unlikely in the near future. None of those keep me up at night though or make me dread my existence. No what does that is the fear I won’t reach my transition goals and will never be looked at as a woman. That as shallow and or selfish as it sounds is my biggest fear.
I know it takes time and is not an overnight thing. I also recognize I am extremely overly critical of myself and some things I may focus on that causes me huge dysphoria may not be as obvious to others. Out of everything though that I hope to accomplish in my transition self acceptance and love are the biggest and most important and I fear that if I fall short of my goals that I will never have that.
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