Feel like a fraud

  • Creator
    Topic
  • #52560
    Rachel Osgood
    Participant

    Hi ladies,

     

    I am only in my second week of HRT and have been in a funk for the last few days. I feel like I am a fraud. I am 67, 6 foot tall and don’t have any physical female characteristics. I internally know what I am but can’t push the fraud feeling away. Has anyone else had similar feelings and what helped?

     

    Thanks

    Rachel

    3 users thanked author for this post.
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    Replies
    • #52895
      Jennifer Scott
      Participant

      BRONZE

      Hi Rachel,

      Similar to you I am 65 years young.  I started hormone treatments (T blockers and estrogen) minimum amounts about 10 days ago which I realize is not a long time.  I went through all the discussion with the doctor about side effects and the like and signed off on it.  I keep waiting for something to happen either physically or emotionally land nothing has yet.  I know it’s different for everyone and I need patience but it is so hard.  In the meantime I see my counselor and she helps quite a bit.  I just wanted you to know I know where you are coming from.  I hope something begins in this second week but who knows.  I will carry on because I know it is who I am even though those fraudulent feelings you discussed raise their ugly head now and then.

      Hugs, Jennifer.

    • #52894
      Rachel Osgood
      Participant

      Thought I would follow up. Almost 4 weeks on HRT and the difference I feel now is calmer and a bit happier. I have been on depression meds for almost 20 years and am weaning off them with this transition as I feel better without them. I think I am starting to feel a little breast growth but my mind may be wishing for it more than reality. I continue with my therapist and will return to my docotr for first checkup at the end of this month.

       

      Rachel

      1 user thanked author for this post.
    • #52581
      Rachel Osgood
      Participant

      Thanks for the support. Since I am only two weeks into my hrt I didn’t think I would have any emotional reactions but maybe I did. After posting my question I took a nice long shower and got dressed as Rachel. I immediately felt calmer and more confident that I am moving in the right direction. Thanks again to all.

      1 user thanked author for this post.
    • #52566
      Stephanie Jones
      Participant

      FREE

      Hey Gurl, I am thinking you’ve had a bit of an exhausting tour of duty for a while. If that is even part of, please realize that this makes us more susceptible to these thoughts.

       

      Also, and this is HUGE. You are going through hormone therapy… strong emotions are part of that lovely package. You know, exactly like women go through… you know what you are in the process of becoming…

       

      Fraud? I disagree, strongly. You’re the real deal, Gurl. You found the couage to make the comittment to becoming physically, who you know you are inside. I’m 53 and I’m a good decade away from HRT, if I ultimately make that leap at all.

       

      Be gentle with yourself right now, and lean on your very best friend.  You know, like women do?

       

      Hugs n Hope,

      Stephanie xo

      1 user thanked author for this post.
    • #52561
      Davida Mae
      Participant

      FREE

      Hi Doll; I’m in no way in your league of advancing through the feat of attaining feminine features but I can relate to the basic feeling of being an  imposter. I don’t have that feeling when I have on a blouse and skirt or even a dress. Not even when I use a thong to tuck. I feel like an imposter when I use breast or hip forms. I like the idea of being and presenting the feminine me. It’s a given that women use mascara, lipstick, eyeliner and brow pencil to highlight their natural facial features but it’s highlighting what is there. I realize GG’s use push up, wire and form fitting bras again to enhance what already  exist but for me; I would rather wear a camisole and be flat chested than wear forms and make that fake/false presentation. As I was reading your post I realized the most obvious difference isn’t in our size as I’m only 5’7 @ 190. Our differences is in the  realities our feelings. Through the process you will actually come to bare the feminine features we both admire. The softening of your features. The enhancement of your breast and the feminine curves that we do much admire. I can’t help but think our greatest adversary is our feelings. The roller coaster of emotions.

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