foster care


  • Creator
  • #100453
    Mia Story

    i got accepted as a foster care parent this year in Iowa. ! i should be accepting tkids this fall. my home can hold 5! i’m very excited. the form asks what sort of kids i’d be comfortable with; there was even a transgender check box! so i enlisted myself for transgender girls.  i have no illusions about this. i have brought up two children already and homeschooled them. i rent rooms to people and for awhile exclusively transwomen. that as a wakeup call!

    anyway if anyone is interested in this process maybe i can help? also i do have a gofundme page to help get my kids some computers. if you are interested in helping let me know.

    my reason for doing this is we had a suicide by a f2m in my town a couple of years ago. i realized i wanted to help and its been in my mind all this time. my neighbor has knowledge about fostering and opened my eyes to this possibility.


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    • #100551
      DeeAnn Hopings


      I commend your efforts! It is something that very few people would do. I think we often think of supporting our community from more of a political perspective, but what you are doing also has a significant impact. Hopefully it will keep kids from winding up in hostile situations with unsupportive foster parents.

      Thanks You!

      • #100572
        Mia Story

        i hope so! i’m not all that good at politics. before covid i would walk into town everyday and say hello to a complete stranger. most often they responded well. i found women were a lot more engaging than men. often i would end up making a new friend! sometimes i think its probably going to last longer if we go person to person and be… personable! fighting in the political arena usually creates tension. i know its absolutely necessary but i just shy away from it. love from mia!

        • #100631
          DeeAnn Hopings

          I didn’t go into depth, but what I was actually referring are the people who transition who leave the community. That’s fine, but they don’t admit that they are benefiting from the efforts of others. A number have said, in effect, that they don’t want to be outed. I’m sorry, but there are many things to be done within the community that are not public. To my way of thinking that is just an excuse and it likely related to a very privileged thought process.

          I’ve read a number of accounts of the experiences of trans kids in foster situations. A lot of those experiences should just never have happened. The kids should never have been in those situations. The same thing essentially applied to gay kids also. Many of the people that make decisions are insensitive to the specific needs of those kids. Glad that the organization that you deal with is trying to avoid bad matchups. Definitely a plus!

          There are 2 things in play that I see: Opinions and Behaviors. Behaviors are the important things as that’s where life altering actions occur. People can have the opinions that they choose, but when they allow it to drive their behavior is where there is a problem.

          What you said about women versus men is not surprising. I think many cis straight men view trans women as turning their backs on masculinity. In effect, that makes us “less than”…

          • #100635
            Mia Story

            wow. insight! i imagine i will make mistakes with my silly opinions! i love psychology. i like to read about it. one of the things i noticed is psychologists are driven by opinions. they carve out an altruistic niche and tout that knowledge as the know all and be all. then comes another person with another niche and builds on and changes all. eventually one has one brilliant light after another and a huge string and suddenly we start to see very effective solutions and practices! i suppose nurturing a child is a bit like that. i tried so hard with my two children to make their lives wonderful. i remembered what i enjoyed and made it available for them. it didn’t always work. sometimes i think i was having way more fun than them! couldn’t help it!

            i think nurturing tkids is going to be a bit more basic. i probably will be doing a lot of dancing around to get it right.

            as for men and women. i think its really sad that men don’t communicate very well. women have three times the ability to communicate non verbally. i have even participated in hive mentality with women. heady stuff!

            i used to feel like men were being poisoned by super testosterone. ? when i started my learning i called myself two spirit. i felt there had been two spirits inside all my life. i tried to echo that by dressing androgenously. one day at walmart a little kid stood up in their cart, pointed at me and demanded mom tell her which i was; boy or girl! the next day i was walking past the neighbor kids who were arguing. i asked what was wrong. the two girls had decided i was a guy and the two boys thought i was a girl. i said i was both and that settled everything and they went back to playing. soooo. i have dressed fem every since! no more embarrassing walmart stuff and no having to explain my being.

            unlike many of my friends i don’t feel the loss of being male. i was just me all along! and me … had to help mom when she told me to be a boy to survive. so i did and pretty much forgot until 50 years later what had happened! i used all sorts of explanations to atone for the obvious difference in me and the rest of my friends. girls were flumoxed. the three marriages i went through were little disasters. it would have been  better for everyone if i had been able to just be me. hopefully the future will be more forgiving!

            i greatly value the insight i have gleaned from being male. and now female. i love my male body! its so strong! and i can do things that a woman would have trouble with! ha! also the health issues are less than woman’s. and the health issues are also less than men on super testosterone! i don’t do hrt. no need. my body is adjusting to fem naturally. which is really convenient!

            tonight i awoke and again i noticed how wonderful i feel. i have had that issue since i came out a decade ago. i didn’t realize that i was acting for 50 years! wow! that takes a lot of energy! now all that energy is just enjoyable.

    • #100459
      Michelle Larsen

      Mia, that is amazingly wonderful. That just blows me away. You sound like a wonderful woman and have a lot to bring to the table for children in need. If you haven’t already, may I suggest you join us in chat to talk about this wonderful opportunity you have for others to help> Thank you so much, Michelle

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