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I first began to realize i didnt feel or see myself as i should,or as everyone around me did anyways, at around age 12. confused and alone, even though i was never alone, i began a cycle of social distancing. Well soon enough i was to make the biggest mistake of my life. A mistake that hasnt let me make any progress.
I beleive I was 15 at the time. searching for a solution to my ever growing internal confusion I stumbled upon METH. Holy shit was it great.. Finally I could get rid of any shame, guilt or fear that was keeping me from blossoming.
I held on to that alusion of enlightenment for about 15 years. Im not sure what it was, perhapse the lack of any real goals accomplished, the fact that i had no more friends and family was begining to become scarce, but like a brick to the face i realized i had gone nowhere.. day after day had been spent in full on tunnel vision. FUCK THAT SHIT..
Im 37 now and in the exact place i was when i began this doomed cruisade.. Broken , tired and lacking whatever it is that humans have that makes them happy or even gives them the drive to go out and find happieness.. BROKEN…
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