from bad to worse..

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    Topic
  • #84927

    I first began to realize i didnt feel or see myself as i should,or as everyone around me did anyways, at around age 12. confused and alone, even though i was never alone, i began a cycle of social distancing. Well soon enough i was to make the biggest mistake of my life. A mistake that hasnt let me make any progress. 

    I beleive I was 15 at the time. searching for a solution to my ever growing internal confusion I stumbled upon METH. Holy shit was it great.. Finally I could get rid of any shame, guilt or fear that was keeping me from blossoming. 

    I held on to that alusion of enlightenment for about 15 years. Im not sure what it was, perhapse the lack of any real goals accomplished, the fact that i had no more friends and family was begining to become scarce, but like a brick to the face i realized i had gone nowhere.. day after day had been spent in full on tunnel vision. FUCK THAT SHIT..

    Im 37 now and in the exact place i was when i began this doomed cruisade.. Broken , tired and lacking whatever it is that humans have that makes them happy or even gives them the drive to go out and find happieness.. BROKEN…

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    • #84962
      CC Webb
      Managing Ambassador

      MANAGING AMBASSADOR

      Nicholas,
      As a trans peer group site we won’t be able to help you with addiction issues, but can empathize with how gender issues may have led you there. I’ve looked through your profile and postings and did not find any indication of therapy attempts to deal with your gender and drug issues. We can help you find a therapist for the gender issues and perhaps they will be able to help you find someone to help with the other. Just let us know if you need that help.

      Cloe Webb
      Managing Ambassador
      Transgender Heaven

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