Happy to be Here

[Ella Happenstance]

Greetings All! I’m Ella.

I grew up as a transgender child. My mother recognized at a very early age that she was in fact raising another daughter, not a son. She made EVERY accommodation for me, which included appropriate clothing, and toys. (The only access to girls clothing I had was my older sister’s, who was 5 years older than me, so they must hung on me…) This was the mid sixties, and I can tell you that my mother was WAY ahead of her time in terms of being progressive.

I had a very close friend who was named Gabriella. I absolutely LOVED  her name, it was almost musical. I came down the stairs one day and announced to my family, “Don’t call me “xyz” anymore. I want you to call me Gabriella, instead.” I was 5 years old. My mother gave me the nickname Ella, and that’s the ONLY way she addressed me, up until her death in 2018. My mother truly saw me…

I didn’t know my father as I was growing up as he was serving in Vietnam. My mother failed to tell him that , rather that having a daughter and three sons, he actually had two daughters and two sons. My father ABSOLUTELY freaked out upon returning home. Nothing short of 100% denial and rejection! I was 6 years old.

My father wanted to put a complete stop to my gender expression, but my mother put her foot down and made two things clear; first, “you will never cut her hair!” (He wanted to give me a military style crew cut!) and second, “she is free to be who she wants to be inside the safety of our home. If you want her to live as a boy in public, that’s fine (no it’s not, mom!!), but inside this house she can be who SHE wants to be.” I think it’s fair to say that my  father HATED everything I represented.

I walked the tightrope of being in two worlds until I was 16. It was the mid 70’s, and the world was not ready for Ella to come out. So, I made the decision to live as a male from that point on.

Well…let’s see, how can I put it? After years of depression, anxiety, suicidality, extreme drug and alcohol addiction, failed 20 yr marriage, the loss of relationship with my children, etc… I reached a breaking point. I just wanted to be FREE again, like I was as a child.

Two years ago I started seeing a gender therapist, asked my close (and progressive) friends to start addressing me as Ella, and once again acquired all the girly things I could ever want or need… 😊 I started HRT in November, and am working with a speech therapist to see if we can’t tweak things a bit in the voice dept.

That’ll do it! Of course, I’m looking forward to meeting people from across the planet, however, if there are people from the upper Midwest, please give me a shout out!!

Namaste

[DeeAnn Hopings]

Ella:

You story parallels others that I have heard. I guess that best way to look at it was that it was better to have one understanding parent than none. I think that for many of us, we just reach a point where SOMETHING has to happen. It just can’t go on as it has. Glad that you are back on track and I hope that being here will be a good experience for you.

So, I encourage you to complete your Profile page. The page stays and can be updated at any time, while this page will eventually slide down to the bottom.

Also, you can search for other members near you by clicking on Social in the menu and the Member Directory.

[𝕋𝕖𝕣𝕣𝕚 𝔸𝕟𝕟𝕖🌸]

Hi Ella,
Thank ‘you for telling us about your journey up to this point. You are so very, very welcome here
in our wonderful, accepting, loving, helpful place to be yourself.
My hope is that you will learn to be comfortable here and make many new friends.
Feel free to ask away and we certanly love to hear your experiances and life’s knowledge as well.
Enjoy the knowledge and experiances of others on a similar path by reading articles and in the forums and chatting in chat rooms.
Enjoy,
Terri Anne

[Author]

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