Having trouble coming out as trans.

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    • #140776

      Yes, I’m still having trouble coming out as trans girl. I can shop for girls clothes, I managed to overcome my fear of that. But getting dressed and going out in public still scares me. I was hoping the HRT I’m on 4 months now. Will help me to find the courage. After all my breasts are beginning to bud, and I have some tissue growth. I was thinking another few months and my boobs will become a little to big to hide. And wearing a bra will somehow force me out of the closet. ?????

    • #140779

      Hi Jennifer
      There is a lot to consider, as it’s said, once you come out…there is no undoing it. It may be you have some issues in your life that you need to resolve first. Practical problems: work, family, friends. Your life is going to change from the first time you walk out en femme. It is your choice, always your choice. I know one girl who went 4 years before even admitting she was trans.
      Get everything in place if you can. If you are going to need laser/electrolysis…it’s a good idea to start early in your transition for practical reasons.
      In short, 4 months or 4 years…it doesn’t matter…you will know when you are ready to take that first journey in the world, dressed as a woman. And what a moment it is lol.

      Alex x

    • #140780
      Lauren Mugnaia

      Hi Jennifer,

      As Alex has said, you will know when it is time. If a person is truly trans, they reach a point in their life where there is no longer any choice but to venture out into that big world and let everyone see who they truly are. It is after taking that huge step, that you will truly feel that you, as a woman, have been set free!


      Ms. Lauren M

    • #140781

      Not to worry. Don’t overthink it. You will come out fully when you realize you have to, not because you want to.

    • #140798
      Alexis Wassermann

      We all go at our pace to what we are comfortable with . No need to rush , it is not a race after all . As you get more comfortable with yourself the confidence will grow and that fear will slowly go away . Just keep being yourself , the rest will come



      • #140806
        Toni Floria

        Hey Jennifer.  You hang in there like Alexis said be  yourself

    • #140813

      Hi Jennifer. Don’t be nervous about coming out in public. In my state of Connecticut it is relatively easy to get the gender marker and photo changed on your driver’s license. I just did it the other day. My license has a new picture of me en femme and the sex column now says female. A tremendous confidence boost.  If you live in a state that allows transgenders to change your gender marker then do this ASAP. Because I’m retired, I don’t have to worry about going to work en femme. Now I am living full time as a woman and I’ve had to buy all new clothes and throw out all my male clothing. Now I am wearing women’s clothes 24/7 FOREVER!  I had to get some groceries this morning and had on a pretty dress, pantyhose and walked in the store in heels. I’m 67 years old. I got stared at a  lot because of my beautiful wig, lipstick, makeup and perfume.  I always give them a  nice smile back. I was given a nice polite, “Have a nice day, Ma’am” as I left the store.And yes I’m wearing a skirt right now with the same pantyhose that I had on this morning because I never took them off. (I’m a no pants gal.) I guess it takes a little courage to develop the badly needed confidence. Once you get over the initial fear it is going to feel wonderful to be a woman. Remember you are just as much a woman as the other ladies. I haven’t had SRS yet but I now know in my heart that I am a woman. After all my driver’s license says so. By the way I am not on hormones.

      With Love, Melissa

    • #140822
      DeeAnn Hopings


      There is a distinction to be made. You are talking about Being Out in public, as opposed to Coming Out, which is explaining ones status to someone else.

      Over time, MANY here have dealt with the fear of being out in public. I won’t say that nothing can happen, but the reality is that our fear of incidents is disproportional to the frequency of incidents. However, that in no way should suggest being cavalier about any environment with which we find ourselves. Shit still happens and it is important to remember that we are in times of rising hate crimes.

      One strategy that many have employed is to make progress in small steps, such as talking a walk dressed, going to a grocery store dressed in another neighborhood, etc.

      Baby Steps!

    • #140834

      Hello Jennifer! Welcome to TGH! There is a wealth of information here that you can look up and receive from other members. Plus you can make friends both near and far. This is a safe place for all of us to get together and be ourselves! And to share.  I know I have seen some other new members introduce themselves from your country recently. So you should be able to find them on here and find if they are in the same area that you are or close by.

      For coming out, I understand how nervous you might be about doing it. But you can break it down into steps and work thru them one by one. Either big steps or baby steps. It’s up to you to go at your pace and when to do it. You’ll get your own internal feel for when it would be right to go ahead and how fast, once you start on going thru a step.  As has been suggested by Dee Ann, you will  need to figure out which coming out you are talking about.  It can be coming out to other people like family and friends. Or is it coming out of the house as Jennifer like you want? Two different things.  Most all of us here have had to work thru issues of coming out to family and friends and the issue of really stepping out of the house as ourselves like we want.  We all have a mindset about how difficult some of this is to accomplish. Sometimes it can be just as hard as we thought it would be. Other parts may not be much of an issue at all to accomplish, which can be a pleasant surprise. So if you have questions please don’t hold back in asking. Someone here could help you with the answer. You may find an answer to a question that has already been talked about in a forum or in some other category like in the Articles. Look around the site and you can find a lot that can help.

      We’re glad you’re here and we’re here to help and support you in what you’re doing in your journey. We know you’ll figure it out and we wish you the best!  Take care, Steffanie

    • #140877

      Hello Jennifer,

      Welcome to our TransGender Heaven (TGH) site: A Transgender Support Site. We are a wonderful, accepting, loving, helpful community where you can be safe and be yourself.

      You can read about the knowledge and experiances of others on a similar path by reading articles and in the forums and chatting in chat rooms.
      My hope is that you will become comfortable here and make many new friends.
      Glad you are here. Looking forward to seeing you on the site.
      Terri Anne, Ambassador

      ============ TGH MtF ChatRoom =====================

      ============= TGH How-to Navigation ================
      ============= TGH WebSite Resource Listing =========

    • #140998

      Hi! Try to always present as female, no matter where you go. Be safe. If going out alone is too difficult, go with a woman friend.
      Change your name. Choose it well, and wear it proudly. and no one can force you to come out. You do that in your own time. Best wishes. ☮️

    • #141426

      Oh you poor thing you. I recall years ago being caught in the same web. I started going out at night in the back yard, then up and down a two hundred foot driveway, then a drive at night, then a drive at night and parking in front of a strip mall so I could see myself in the store windows, then back to the car quickly. It just got crazier each time. Lol Finally, my first time out in the daytime, only to be picked up by a group of teen girls who pointed and whistled at me laughing, the mean little cusses, lol. I was sweating bullets and then they showed up. Talk about a reality check! Needless to say, I was quick back to my vehicle. But that was the beginning for me being out, The trap was set. I was going out again, soon, like tomorrow! And I did. My best early outing was to, you guessed it, Walmart. I got a lot of security having a cart in front of me. It worked. Years later to today, being out in public is simply normal to me. I absolutely love when someone comments on my clothes or hair.  You will too one day soon.

      hugs, Jillleanne


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