Height, heels, broad shoulders etc…

  • Creator
    Topic
  • #89530
    Vanessa Torres
    Participant

    So I haven’t transitioned yet, but I keep thinking how will I ever be passable? I’m 6’1″ and have average to semi broad shoulders. I also have big feet and don’t think they look feminine. My feet combined with my height means I can’t ever wear open toe shoes or heels. This kind of sucks because I want to be able to look just like any other girl out there. Is there any advice anyone can give me?

    2 users thanked author for this post.
Viewing 15 reply threads
  • Author
    Replies
    • #100145

      How big, if i may ask, are your feet? I’m6’4″ male 12/13 female 14. Yes being tall you will stand out..

    • #100102
      Sharon
      FREE

      I am 5′ 11″ and work with a couple of genetic girls who are much taller than me.  They tend to wear jeans and ballet flats or skate shoes, something I have copied, but I wear longer loose tops to ensure certain areas are hidden.

    • #99520

      I’m 5’9″ and quite broad shouldered so i use a large bust to balance the shape, in a clingy dress i use hip padding as well as a waist cincher . I know i’m lucky in having quite small feet , size 7uk

    • #94840
      Noa 8
      FREE

      I have been having the same thoughts! I am 6’2″ and it has always been something I hated but what I have experienced so far in coming out as trans is that it is loving myself that’s most important (including my height). Like other people have said, there are tall cis and trans women who are living happy lives and also being tall is sexy, no matter your gender! What has been helping me a lot is gently reminding myself that I would never judge another woman for being tall so why would I judge myself for it? Also I have the broad shoulders too but I find that taking a deep breath, relaxing the shoulders back and keeping my chin up helps me feel so much less square and masculine! Be proud girl! You are awesome and living your truth which is more than the people who would judge you for something like your height will ever know/be!

      2 users thanked author for this post.
      • #99521

        Noa 8 wrote:

        “I have been having the same thoughts! I am 6’2″ and it has always been something I hated but what I have experienced so far in coming out as trans is that it is loving myself that’s most important.”

         

        Vanessa…

        Being a ‘Woman‘ is a state of mind. If you genuinely feel feminine, own it. We cannot change our height, nor foot size. There are tall GG’s out there, some I’m sure have larger feet. Do these physical attributes make them any less of a woman? So there is nothing wrong with you being tall and having big feet.

        Most peeps are too wrapped up in their own little bubble looking at their devices to even notice anyone else.

        Accept yourself, love yourself… own it. Just be the best ‘You‘, you can be.

        Love,

        Gen ❤

        1 user thanked author for this post.
    • #94831

      Hello Vanessa,I am a crossdresser  who loves dresses and heels.Yes,I been known to go to a family restaurant<Village Inn,Dennys,JBs and others >in a dress and heels.I also go in jeans,booties a cute top.Wear what you like and try to blend in.When you are out and about you are a lady,present yourself as one and own the moment.I have recieved many compliments when I am out  especially when I am in a dress and heels.Most often it is asked”How do you walk in those tall heels”.To which I reply”These are only 3 or 3.5 inch heels”.Most people  are too busy to pay attention to0 what you are wearing,unless you are dressed outlandishly.Vanessa ,my male self,is 5,11 and I weigh 185 lbs.Have fun with your feminiety ,you may end up giving fashion advice to genetic women.

      2 users thanked author for this post.
    • #94739
      Dawn J
      AMBASSADOR

      Absolutely don’t worry about height. I’m almost 6′ &, in my line of work, I’m around a lot of people. It seems like a good percentage of women (especially younger ones), today, are very tall compared to in the past. I seem to be looking eye-to-eye with them. Then I look at their feet. Certainly, they must be wearing a 3 or 4-inch heel. Nope. They’re in flats. Not only are the women taller, but the men seem to be, too. Whereas I once thought I was on the tall side (especially before gravity did its little shrinking trick on me), now, I feel a bit on the short side–for a guy, but just right as a woman.

      2 users thanked author for this post.
      • #94765
        DeeAnn Hopings
        AMBASSADOR

        Average height for US adult males is ~5′-9″

        Average height for US adult females is ~5′-4″

        • #99516

          and yes, average height does increase over time… in the early 1900s, the average heights were 5’7″ (male) and 5’3″ (female)… better nutrition and health care are the usually cited culprits.

    • #94471
      Dani
      SILVER

      Just wanted to highlight that youtube has excellent vids on how to dress for tall women.. horizontal lines to break up the height and even tips about the size of your handbag.. recommend looking at those

      2 users thanked author for this post.
    • #91102

      Vanessa , Hi , like said here , its more about the inner woman , clothes and shoes are a personal choice and what i call the icing on the cake . There are so many places now selling larger women’s shoes around and i am sure you can find a nice fit . I like flats most , very comfortable and east to get use to . We all are a little large in the foot and hand area and as males we did a lot of work and beat our feet and hands up , a lot . I have used a lot of lotion and skin whitener to relieve this and shave all over , its a lot to over come , but i will and so will you . Look at miss Caitlyn Jenner , ever see how tall she is , well over six feet . So , i say do your best girl , and enjoy being her , you made it . Leslie

      1 user thanked author for this post.
    • #91098
      Gina
      SILVER

      Hi Vanessa,

      It sounds like there is a lot of great advice here already. The clothes you choose will definitely have a big impact on drawing attention away from areas you don’t want to emphasize and drawing more attention to those you do. Your body shape can also make a big difference. If you have broader shoulders you might try different size hip pads for an overall more feminine physique. This is best done with an objective friend 😊. Also, if you transition with hrt you will lose some size in your shoulders, depending on how much muscle mass you have there.

      • #91099

        I am 49 and just came out this year after finding out my son is gay. I have wanted to be a female as long as I can remember and the earliest I remember is 1978. It has been a difficult transition with my mother’s family ignoring me and not being supported by my dad or girlfriends mother , but I go one. You can go on as well. Wear anything you like. Heels dresses skirts or whatever. I am 6 foot and have some heeled booties I love to wear. Not sky high but about 2 or 3 inch heels.

    • #91009

      I wouldn’t worry about height so much, there are a lot of tall women. I’m 6’2″, shave my head, and don’t wear a wig. I honestly believe that once you stop worrying about passing, it becomes so much easier to just be yourself.  I wear shorter kitten heels with dresses occasionally in summer. I don’t get any different reaction than I would with a wig and flats.

      1 user thanked author for this post.
    • #90884
      Anonymous

      The first out trans girl I met 3 years ago was beautiful. And she was 6ft 4″ and had been a full back on the Saints foot team. So don’t think that you cannot do this. Yes, maybe harder to find clothes but not impossible. I have done a lot of my shopping on the web site Woman Within.

      2 users thanked author for this post.
    • #89573
      DeeAnn Hopings
      AMBASSADOR

      Some years back Des’Ree did a song called “I Ain’t Movin’”. One line that has always stayed with me is:

      Time is much too short to be living somebody elses life…

      3 users thanked author for this post.
    • #89569
      DeeAnn Hopings
      AMBASSADOR

      So I haven’t transitioned yet, but I keep thinking how will I ever be passable? I’m 6’1″ and have average to semi broad shoulders. I also have big feet and don’t think they look feminine. My feet combined with my height means I can’t ever wear open toe shoes or heels. This kind of sucks because I want to be able to look just like any other girl out there. Is there any advice anyone can give me?

      There are lots of tall women in the world. While you can slim down or bulk up, you are pretty much stuck with your height. However, there are some things that you can do…

      • wear different colors top and bottom
      • Wear a top with a horizontal pattern
      • Wear a top with a strong pattern
      • Do not slouch

      Anyway, the theory is that by drawing attention to your upper body, it takes attention away from your long legs.

      Not sure about tactics to de-emphasize the shoulders…

      • #94738
        Aundrea K
        FREE

        I’m in the same boat, 6’3″ big feet etc but I am lucky to have a natural hourglass type figure even without hrt but I wouldn’t have thought it better to draw away from my long legs. I always lean toward highlighting them and my wider hips. I’ll have to give it a try thank you

        • #94754
          DeeAnn Hopings
          AMBASSADOR

          Remember that this is all about optical illusion. While that is the theory, I think it may work in isolation. When other techniques are added, it may change the illusion. Experiment!!

          1 user thanked author for this post.
    • #89565

      I am small and can find shoes of all kinds, including heels that put me “up” in the world.  But, almost every real woman that I encounter ask, “how can you walk in those things?”  FYI, women today don’t wear heels.  They go for comfort.  So, you too should wear comfortable shoes.  At 6’ 1”, you don’t need any more height.

      Even with 4 inch heels, I’m only 5’6”.  You are already tall and beautiful.  Accept it, please.

      1 user thanked author for this post.
    • #89536
      Carly Holloway
      AMBASSADOR - EDITOR

      Hi, Vanessa.  I’m also a very tall girl,, 6’2″, and I am making the transition.   I, too, was scared to death to begin with height and physique not entirely in the female mold (that’s a delicate way to put it.)  To top it off, I’m in my late 60’s.

      I decided to go for it anyway.   Not an easy choice for any of us.   I studied the way women in my area dress regularly, and worked hard to mimic their styles.  I noticed that, outside of random her formal work situations (business, execs, official/govt/court situations, etc), not many ladies wear heels and dresses….maybe for a fancy night  out, but usually not even then.

      So, when I’m on the go, I’m very much one of the crowd, aside from height and size.  My observations?   Nobody really cares anymore.  Sure, I may get a few goofy stares, but I have had zero negative encounters in many months.  I’m mostly treated like everybody else.  Shopping, restaurants, work, outings (of course limited by our friendly neighborhood covid), no problem.   Usually ma’am or miss.  A few bums say sir, but that is not the rule.  And bear in mind I live in the heart of redneck fundamentalist Oklahoma in a small, small community.

      Finding the moxie to finally go ahead with my transition was the hard part.   Making the transition has been a delight, and I wish I could have found the courage years ago.

      So, I say, go ahead.  Experiment.  Observe.  Try some jeans, tees or tunics, and tennies or flops.  Start small and easy.  You won’t see many 3 inch heels and fancy dress at 2 in the afternoon, or at 8 pm.  Just be comfortable.  Be confident.  Be proud.  Be yourself.  They don’t dictate your life.  You don’t need their approval or advice.  Head up, shoulders back.  You’re beautiful just as you are in your own way.  Own it.  Enjoy it.  Express it.  Above all, be relaxed and have fun.   Life is too short to hide behind fear of “them” and what they think.

      I hope this helps.   You are not alone, hon.

      • #99522

        Carly wrote:

        “Just be comfortable. Be confident.  Be proud.  Be yourself.  They don’t dictate your life.  You don’t need their approval or advice.”

        Best advice I’ve heard in a long time… words to live by.

        Such a wonderful post Carly… ty for sharing.

        Love,

        Gen ❤

         

      • #91088
        Seren
        FREE

        This is lovely Carly!
        Remember also that some cis girls are tall, some have broad shoulders, some have muscles (who’d have thought…?)

        I’m still very early in my journey but what I’ve learned is that there’s as many ways to do this as there are folks doing it. You have to find a way to be you.

        happy holidays for those who are celebrating

        take care and stay safe

        Seren xx

        1 user thanked author for this post.
        • #91095
          Margaux
          CHAT CREW

          This is lovely Carly!
          Remember also that some cis girls are tall, some have broad shoulders, some have muscles (who’d have thought…?)

          I’m still very early in my journey but what I’ve learned is that there’s as many ways to do this as there are folks doing it. You have to find a way to be you.

          happy holidays for those who are celebrating

          take care and stay safe

          Seren xx

           

          Welcome Seren!

           

          I so agree with you, it’s different for everybody. I’ve found as a tall Trans person with wide shoulders and big feet/hands, it’s all about how one carries oneself. I’ve found transitioning that my natural instinct was to behave in a feminine way. Once I got over having to be male all the time I started getting gendered female, even without putting any effort into ‘passing’. As much as being tall is a challenge for any woman, for us tall girls the walk and the talk are important ways to appear feminine to CIS folks…

           

          2 users thanked author for this post.
    • #89532
      Jasmine
      MANAGING AMBASSADOR

      Vanessa, my advice would be to not worry about being passable. Transitioning should be about whether or not it makes you happy and a better you.

      As for shoes, if you wear a men’s 11½= woman’s 13, there are places that sell them.

      I also hear a lot of woman aren’t happy with there feet. So don’t feel like you don’t relate.

      Maybe some others can chime with more advice.

      4 users thanked author for this post.
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