Height, heels, broad shoulders etc…

  • Creator
    Topic
  • #89530
    Vanessa Torres
    Participant

    So I haven’t transitioned yet, but I keep thinking how will I ever be passable? I’m 6’1″ and have average to semi broad shoulders. I also have big feet and don’t think they look feminine. My feet combined with my height means I can’t ever wear open toe shoes or heels. This kind of sucks because I want to be able to look just like any other girl out there. Is there any advice anyone can give me?

    1 user thanked author for this post.
Viewing 8 reply threads
  • Author
    Replies
    • #91102
      LeslieAnne
      Participant

      FREE

      Vanessa , Hi , like said here , its more about the inner woman , clothes and shoes are a personal choice and what i call the icing on the cake . There are so many places now selling larger women’s shoes around and i am sure you can find a nice fit . I like flats most , very comfortable and east to get use to . We all are a little large in the foot and hand area and as males we did a lot of work and beat our feet and hands up , a lot . I have used a lot of lotion and skin whitener to relieve this and shave all over , its a lot to over come , but i will and so will you . Look at miss Caitlyn Jenner , ever see how tall she is , well over six feet . So , i say do your best girl , and enjoy being her , you made it . Leslie

    • #91098
      Gina
      Participant

      SILVER

      Hi Vanessa,

      It sounds like there is a lot of great advice here already. The clothes you choose will definitely have a big impact on drawing attention away from areas you don’t want to emphasize and drawing more attention to those you do. Your body shape can also make a big difference. If you have broader shoulders you might try different size hip pads for an overall more feminine physique. This is best done with an objective friend 😊. Also, if you transition with hrt you will lose some size in your shoulders, depending on how much muscle mass you have there.

      • #91099
        Annalisa Tillis
        Participant

        FREE

        I am 49 and just came out this year after finding out my son is gay. I have wanted to be a female as long as I can remember and the earliest I remember is 1978. It has been a difficult transition with my mother’s family ignoring me and not being supported by my dad or girlfriends mother , but I go one. You can go on as well. Wear anything you like. Heels dresses skirts or whatever. I am 6 foot and have some heeled booties I love to wear. Not sky high but about 2 or 3 inch heels.

    • #91009
      Lyric A
      Participant

      SILVER

      I wouldn’t worry about height so much, there are a lot of tall women. I’m 6’2″, shave my head, and don’t wear a wig. I honestly believe that once you stop worrying about passing, it becomes so much easier to just be yourself.  I wear shorter kitten heels with dresses occasionally in summer. I don’t get any different reaction than I would with a wig and flats.

    • #90884
      Jamie Harris
      Participant

      FREE

      The first out trans girl I met 3 years ago was beautiful. And she was 6ft 4″ and had been a full back on the Saints foot team. So don’t think that you cannot do this. Yes, maybe harder to find clothes but not impossible. I have done a lot of my shopping on the web site Woman Within.

      1 user thanked author for this post.
    • #89573
      DeeAnn Hopings
      Ambassador

      AMBASSADOR

      Some years back Des’Ree did a song called “I Ain’t Movin’”. One line that has always stayed with me is:

      Time is much too short to be living somebody elses life…

      1 user thanked author for this post.
    • #89569
      DeeAnn Hopings
      Ambassador

      AMBASSADOR

      So I haven’t transitioned yet, but I keep thinking how will I ever be passable? I’m 6’1″ and have average to semi broad shoulders. I also have big feet and don’t think they look feminine. My feet combined with my height means I can’t ever wear open toe shoes or heels. This kind of sucks because I want to be able to look just like any other girl out there. Is there any advice anyone can give me?

      There are lots of tall women in the world. While you can slim down or bulk up, you are pretty much stuck with your height. However, there are some things that you can do…

      • wear different colors top and bottom
      • Wear a top with a horizontal pattern
      • Wear a top with a strong pattern
      • Do not slouch

      Anyway, the theory is that by drawing attention to your upper body, it takes attention away from your long legs.

      Not sure about tactics to de-emphasize the shoulders…

    • #89565
      John Marvin
      Participant

      FREE

      I am small and can find shoes of all kinds, including heels that put me “up” in the world.  But, almost every real woman that I encounter ask, “how can you walk in those things?”  FYI, women today don’t wear heels.  They go for comfort.  So, you too should wear comfortable shoes.  At 6’ 1”, you don’t need any more height.

      Even with 4 inch heels, I’m only 5’6”.  You are already tall and beautiful.  Accept it, please.

    • #89536
      Carly Holloway
      Participant

      GOLD

      Hi, Vanessa.  I’m also a very tall girl,, 6’2″, and I am making the transition.   I, too, was scared to death to begin with height and physique not entirely in the female mold (that’s a delicate way to put it.)  To top it off, I’m in my late 60’s.

      I decided to go for it anyway.   Not an easy choice for any of us.   I studied the way women in my area dress regularly, and worked hard to mimic their styles.  I noticed that, outside of random her formal work situations (business, execs, official/govt/court situations, etc), not many ladies wear heels and dresses….maybe for a fancy night  out, but usually not even then.

      So, when I’m on the go, I’m very much one of the crowd, aside from height and size.  My observations?   Nobody really cares anymore.  Sure, I may get a few goofy stares, but I have had zero negative encounters in many months.  I’m mostly treated like everybody else.  Shopping, restaurants, work, outings (of course limited by our friendly neighborhood covid), no problem.   Usually ma’am or miss.  A few bums say sir, but that is not the rule.  And bear in mind I live in the heart of redneck fundamentalist Oklahoma in a small, small community.

      Finding the moxie to finally go ahead with my transition was the hard part.   Making the transition has been a delight, and I wish I could have found the courage years ago.

      So, I say, go ahead.  Experiment.  Observe.  Try some jeans, tees or tunics, and tennies or flops.  Start small and easy.  You won’t see many 3 inch heels and fancy dress at 2 in the afternoon, or at 8 pm.  Just be comfortable.  Be confident.  Be proud.  Be yourself.  They don’t dictate your life.  You don’t need their approval or advice.  Head up, shoulders back.  You’re beautiful just as you are in your own way.  Own it.  Enjoy it.  Express it.  Above all, be relaxed and have fun.   Life is too short to hide behind fear of “them” and what they think.

      I hope this helps.   You are not alone, hon.

      • #91088
        Seren
        Participant

        FREE

        This is lovely Carly!
        Remember also that some cis girls are tall, some have broad shoulders, some have muscles (who’d have thought…?)

        I’m still very early in my journey but what I’ve learned is that there’s as many ways to do this as there are folks doing it. You have to find a way to be you.

        happy holidays for those who are celebrating

        take care and stay safe

        Seren xx

        1 user thanked author for this post.
        • #91095
          Margaux
          Participant

          CHAT CREW

          This is lovely Carly!
          Remember also that some cis girls are tall, some have broad shoulders, some have muscles (who’d have thought…?)

          I’m still very early in my journey but what I’ve learned is that there’s as many ways to do this as there are folks doing it. You have to find a way to be you.

          happy holidays for those who are celebrating

          take care and stay safe

          Seren xx

           

          Welcome Seren!

           

          I so agree with you, it’s different for everybody. I’ve found as a tall Trans person with wide shoulders and big feet/hands, it’s all about how one carries oneself. I’ve found transitioning that my natural instinct was to behave in a feminine way. Once I got over having to be male all the time I started getting gendered female, even without putting any effort into ‘passing’. As much as being tall is a challenge for any woman, for us tall girls the walk and the talk are important ways to appear feminine to CIS folks…

           

          2 users thanked author for this post.
    • #89532
      Jasmine
      Managing Ambassador

      MANAGING AMBASSADOR

      Vanessa, my advice would be to not worry about being passable. Transitioning should be about whether or not it makes you happy and a better you.

      As for shoes, if you wear a men’s 11½= woman’s 13, there are places that sell them.

      I also hear a lot of woman aren’t happy with there feet. So don’t feel like you don’t relate.

      Maybe some others can chime with more advice.

      4 users thanked author for this post.
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