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Hello Everyone!
So, yes, I am new to the site and also quite new to the experience of transitioning. I’ve been on HRT for almost 1.5 years and am just starting to live as my true, female self around others instead of keeping it private and plagued by guilt.
Ever since I was born, I knew that I felt more comfortable around women and in women’s clothing, and simply just being regarded as female. For most of my childhood I was wonderfully unaware of gender stereotypes and norms and was permitted to play dress up in girls’ clothes and so forth. At the time I still hadn’t put the pieces together to see that my body was wrong for my gender but it didn’t bother me because no one seemed to care. I really didn’t get teased at all at that point and no one objected…until I turned 11 or so. At that point people started to say, “boys don’t do that,” I got teased mercilessly, and worst of all, mysteriously all of my dresses and heels disappeared from the dressing up box, only to be replaced with my father’s oversized blazers.
I’ll skip over the rest of my journey as I’m sure it mirrors and echoes most other peoples’ experiences – college was when I put it all together, then I got scared and retreated, etc. etc. and finally, I got sick of hiding and here I am today, trying to be authentic and honest.
As some of you music aficionados out there may have speculated, my name “Rhiannon” is indeed a reference to Stevie Nicks’ song of the same name. I’ve always been obsessed with Stevie Nicks, not to mention witchy, black clothes and super high heels! I just feel that the name has a regal quality that needs to be lived up to and gives me some ambition to better myself and be honest about who I am and ultimately want to be. Pick my brain about Stevie if you’d like (or Tori Amos, Ani DiFranco, or St. Vincent for that matter!).
In closing, what else is there to say about me? I’m coming out of a very painful breakup with my ex girlfriend who was also trans. I adored her. We were together for almost 2 years and she broke my heart. I am still trying to pick up the pieces but it’s a difficult process.
I am also a painter and specialize in landscapes and portraits but also do some avant garde figurative paintings as well, focused on gender (go figure). I love to read and watch interesting films. I’m also endlessly interested in fashion and the signs and semiotics of what clothes say about the wearer’s body and gender. And in closing, I am a big time corset snob! I’ve spent YEARS figuring out the ins and outs of proper tightlacing and am happy to share information with others about corsetry if anyone is interested.
Okay, I’ve taken up enough space and time here. I hope to make some new friends on here with like-minds and hear advice from others about how to feel authentic in one’s own skin and valid within the confines of a binary-focused society when it comes to gender.
Take care and stay safe, Everyone!
Rhiannon
Glad that you could join us!
Hopefully you will find things here that will be useful on your journey.
And yes, I know the song well. I’ve always been a fan of Fleetwood Mac and Stevie Nicks. The timing here is interesting as I pulled out the Greatest Hits CD a few days ago and have played it again a few times. They did some unusual things from time to time. “Tusks” is one of them. Sort of reminiscent of Simon & Garfunkel’s Scarborough Fair/Canticle although that one was anti-war protest music as I remember…
Be Well,
DeeAnn
Welcome. Your introduction was nice and very different than most new members. I can feel your pain in your breakup with your trans girl friend. I can tell that you felt your heart bonded to hers.
I look forward to hearing your other thoughts on subjects on this site.
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