Hello from Andrea in the UK

[Andrea Moss]

Hi all, I’ll try to be brief, but i may get carried away!

My name is Adam, Im 52, married with two adult children, and still married to my wife, although we spend about half the time apart. The current situation arose when i had a breakdown in early March 2020. Ive been on antidepressants for many years, and was in a stressful job, adding to a home life that left me feeling unsatisfied.

I ran away from it all to the Lake District to stay with a close friend, and was able to buy a static caravan to live in, and got a delivery job with a supermarket. Later, i helped my wife and family move up, and she got her own house.

My caravan is called Ataraxia, which means tranquility, as that is the feeling it gives me.

I was a teen in the late eighties, and have always felt socially awkward. Being a rocker, i grew my hair long ( and was often told by female friends how lovely it was) and had very occasionally tried on women’s underwear. I didn’t want to be a girl, but felt on the outside of my male social group.

I wasn’t diagnosed with depression until i was 30, and any attempt by myself to find the root of it was unsuccessful, only leading to guilt about who and what i blamed.

Back then we didnt have the resources or understanding of gender outside of male, female or gay, and the only certainly i had was that i wasnt gay.

As life went on, i did try on a dress now and then for a laugh, and i felt good, but still guilty.

Ive always worked in very male oriented environments, so have never been able to express myself fully. To be honest, ive not really considered the idea of being transgender until last year.

I am trying to keep this brief 😉

Thankfully, im slim built, not particularly muscular or hairy, so when i started gradually increasing  how much hair i removed, it wasnt that noticeable. I told my wife i didn’t see the point of having hairy carves and wispy bits everywhere else and that was an acceptable excuse.

When i bought my first corset dress, i was close to tears as i put it on, and not just because it was tight. I felt such a feeling of release. Looked at myself in the mirror and saw the real me for the first time in my life. Ive never cared much for fashion, or what i wore, as i always thought i looked awkward, so its a new sensation for me to feel attractive and really good about what im wearing.

So that is where im at now, looking back wondering if that is the root of my anxiety and depression.

I am Andrea, and pleased to meet me!

Where do i go from here?

4 users thanked author for this post.

Grace Darling, Terri Anne Knoan, Brielle, Jessica Maddison

Topic

[Terri Anne Knoan]

Hello Andrea,

Welcome to our TransgGender Heaven (TGH) site: A Wonderful, Accepting, Loving, Helpful Community where you can be safe and be yourself.
The Warmth, Compaasion and Hospitality of our community members can be found throughout the site.
You can read about the knowledge and experiances of others on a similar path by reading articles and in the forums and chatting in chat rooms.
My hope is that you will become comfortable here and make many new friends.

Glad you are here,
Terri Anne, Ambassador

======= Here is a link to the MtoF Chat room: ========
https://transgenderheaven.com/chat/mtf-transgender-chat/

======== TGH Membership PLANS ===================
https://transgenderheaven.com/choose-your-plan/#link_acc-1-3-d

=========== TGH How-to Navigation ============================
https://transgenderheaven.com/forums/topic/member-howto-for-navigating-the-tgh-website/

[Michelle Lawson]

Hi Andrea, welcome to our neck of the world. I do hope you are getting situated and seeing all there is here. Please let me know if you have any questions. Either I, or someone else, will make sure we reply back. I do so hope you will join us in the Chatroom. I enjoy chatting there a lot. If you look in Social -> Member Directory, you can search for other people that may be near by. Or under Places -> Local Places, you can search for all sorts of things that may be near you. Hope to see you chatting soon. Oh, and don’t forget about digging through the Articles and Forums. Loads of information there. And this is a link to some info about navigating the website – https://transgenderheaven.com/forums/topic/member-howto-for-navigating-the-tgh-website/. Hugs, Michelle

[Grace Darling]

Hello Andrea,

I identify with a lot of what you write.  Just posting to say that.  I think this forum will be very helpful.

Lots of love and hugs,

(Gee!  It’s nice to be able to write that!)

Grace

2 users thanked author for this post.

Andrea Moss, Jessica Maddison

[Andrea Moss]

Grace, reading a few posts from other new members really gave me the confidence to be totally honest  on here about my situation. I was also able to identify with what others have written. A little acknowledgement and support makes a huge difference, so thank you so much,

love and hugs to you too

1 user thanked author for this post.

Jessica Maddison

[Jessica Maddison]

Hello Andrea Welcome to TGH
You have made your First Step…
By joining TGH… and how its one small step at a time… You are HERE and We are Glad you are here with US. Be Safe…Be Your True Self..
Jessica 💕

1 user thanked author for this post.

Andrea Moss

[Author]

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