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Though I use the term “Trans” in common speech, I find it necessary to make clear in spaces like this, that I am someone who transitioned due to a life-threatening degree of dysphoria. Dysphoria that despite decades of therapy I could only resolve by surgical intervention after socially and legally assuming a female social identity.
Contrary to what I originally assumed, people invalidate the terrible price I paid for transition professionally and socially with increasing frequency. I find it unacceptable to be considered no different than males of homo-feminine identity and culture, who casually adopt the terms Transgender and Gender Fluid. Men with the freedom to change presentation any time they feel with little to no greater consequence than Gay men have always experienced for hundreds of years.
Barring extraordinary good fortune, the average life expectancy of a Black Trans Woman in the US is 35 years old. I am 64, my transition costing me everyone I love and trusted, my career and everything it took me a lifetime to earn a smoking pile of wreckage.
Having achieved an authentic self, I seek authentic relationships. I don’t meet people who can see me beyond the widespread cultural assumptions that have existed for generations. In over 20 years I have never met another Black or Brown Trans Lesbian, while in contrast, I have met thousands of White and Asian Trans Lesbians with no interest in knowing me much less develop freendship. I ascribe a lot of this to the fact we are a society of people who pays lip service to solidarity while still competing for status in every way by means both subtle and gross.
I am here to share my experience, strength, and hope.
Though not pessimistic, I do have low expectations, stubbornly hoping against the odds to find reciprocity, a willingness to deliberately invest in the building of trust and friendship.
If you believe in cooperative problem-solving, are mature, secure enough in your person to engage in critical self-reflection, own a passion for exploration, discovery, experimentation, innovation, creation, please feel free to reach out to me.
I say that with this one caveat, please DO NOT contact me out of privileged idle curiosity, I am not some exotic creature in a cosmic petting zoo.
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