Hello Ladies!

[Sally Smith]

Hey y’all…. I am Sally (for now) and just recently came out to my wife, I and somewhat confused now as to what exactly I am, a cross dresser or an actual transgendered individual….

had my first makeup session and at 58 I so regret not doing this earlier, it has been a wild couple of weeks with removing all body hair, doing my toenails, trying false finger nails and wearing sexy things, what a trip.

Looking to connect with others I live in Victoria but often travel to Edmonton to visit my grandson and his parents 🙂

[DeeAnn Hopings]

Sally:

It’s good that you joined us! We’re so glad to have you.

So, after the initial coming out phase, what’s next? Many find that a very difficult question as this is uncharted water for just about all of us.

Our minds work under, to borrow a Star Trek term, a Prime Directive. Survival is utmost and it does that by avoiding danger and conflicts in order to keep our stress levels and anxiety low. The problem is that trans people considering their gender identity, or gay people considering their sexuality for that matter, creates a lot of tension and anxiety because it goes against how we thought our lives would likely go. It also goes against societal expectations and how we have been conditioned. So, our minds try to divert us from thinking about these heavyweight issues. Many members have been helped by working with therapist as it is helpful to stay focused on the important questions and not get diverted.

However, what is important is to find a therapist with experience in gender issues. There are many good therapists, but not everyone has this background and experience.

Please complete your Profile page. It helps other members to understand you and your journey. Note that your Profile page is always readily available and can be updates at any time if something changes.

Also, transgenderED has fallen out of use. While you may find it in dictionaries, the implication is that something happened to “make” us transgender. Medical science is continuing to move further and further  away from that thought as it is becoming increasingly clear that it isn’t the case. Also, we don’t say gayED or lesbianED.

[Sally Smith]

Hello DeAnn,

Thanks for the welcome and the clarification regarding “ed”  I realize I have a lot to learn!

Sally

[DeeAnn Hopings]

Hi:

Not a problem.

I think what is important is not give conservatives ammunition in their quest to try to marginalize us. Thinking that something happens to us to “make” us transgender works in concert with that erroneous notion of “it’s a choice”. MANY trans and gay people have stated that they knew they were “different” at between 5 and 10 years old. They didn’t understand it and didn’t have the vocabulary for it, but they knew that they were different from their peers. That’s not a choice. That is a realization.

There is an excellent book that explains a lot about how the politics work (and MANY other topics as well):

Every Thing You Always Wanted To Know About Trans (but were afraid to ask) by Brynn Tannehill

[𝕋𝕖𝕣𝕣𝕚 𝔸𝕟𝕟𝕖🌸]

Hi Sally,

Welcome to our wonderful, accepting, loving, helpful community where you can be safe and be yourself.

Gain the knowledge and experiances of others on a similar path by reading articles and in the forums and chatting in chat rooms.
My hope is that you will become comfortable here and make many new friends.

Glad you are here. Looking forward to more sharing,
Terri Anne, Ambassador

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