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I thought I’d introduce myself. My name is Susan. I was raised in a strict Catholic family and so I had to come to terms with my gender identity. I knew I was female from a very young age but I was told not to express myself in that way early in life (age 4). I did as I was asked until puberty. I didn’t know why but my yearning to be female increased and I started crossdressing underneath my man clothes. I was caught by my parent a few times but oddly nothing was said. I was fine with that at the time as I didn’t understand what was happening. There was no internet and library’s had nothing on the subject at the time (I’m now 58).
When I was 13, I was seduced by my best friends older brother who was 7 years my senior. It grew into something more and I stayed secretly in that relationship for years. I eventually came out at to him and I became his lover as a woman only. I had only been found out by my younger brother who thankfully kept it a secret until his recent death. I finally ended this relationship at age 23, when he became engaged to another woman. Soon after, I moved away from the area and in with another man (who was presenting male at the time) who was like myself…a transgender woman. We met and attended an LBGTQ group (called a TV/TS group back then) in Seattle. For years we attended and enjoyed the social scene in LGBTQ friendly areas of Seattle. My roommate and I lived as females together part time except at our places of work (from dusk to dawn) for many years. My roommate began transitioning to full time and eventually completed SRS and legally became a woman. She moved far away and I got my own place close by and continued to crossdress part time. But I felt something was missing in my life.
I started needing more relationships so I started attending a Baptist Church nearby. Not a good move for a transgender female…I know. I became very involved in the church yet still lived like a recluse, never inviting church members over and strategically hid my crossdressing. (Yes, there were several very close calls). Eventually, after meeting my current wife online in 1996, I did the unimaginable. I purged over a decade of women’s clothing, makeup, shoes, jewelry, memorabilia …you name it. I decided I wanted to “get straight” and a have a “normal” life.🤪 I started dating my current wife of 22 years. She had 3 young children who grew up to call me “Dad”. I did what was expected and continued to play Dad. They are all in their mid-30’s now and my wife and I are now empty nesters.
In 2018, after much thought and deliberation, I decided to get help. I made a decision to transition without confiding with my wife. After getting this help and getting a provider who was very helpful I started in Sept. 2018. This was something I should have done years earlier although I would have missed many blessings that I received during those “straight & normal” years.
In Dec. 2018, I eventually came out out to my wife after starting hormones and seeing some changes. She eventually accepted me and now affirms and is my biggest ally. After six months, I came out to everyone I know and the world at large, I began being myself and went full time on May 19, 2019. By June 12, 2019, my legal name and gender marker changes on all my legal documents and ID’s at the Federal and State levels were all completed.
Currently, I’m finally scheduled for GRS and Breast Augmentation surgeries on Jan. 5 & 15, 2021 respectively and then a a second & final GRS surgery in June 2021.
I know for sure that I’m on the right path for my life. I’m hoping to find support, information, advice and friendship here during my transition. I am looking for only understanding and non-judgmental people in my life.
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