Hey new here. Struggling

  • Creator
  • #130070
    Karma Shield

    So I am in therapy, doing the gender affirming things, yet without the surgeries (I cant afford) my imposter syndrome is out of control. I’ve just always wanted a vagina and growing up in a heavy christian household therapy is starting to hurt more with these repressed memories. I know what I want I just wish I had more support(my partner has been amazing in my transition and completely supportive, its just there are times when she is completely lost). I looked in the mirror today and knew that my beard needs to go soon. I just fear that the second I shave the second the “mask” comes off and I don’t know if the thought of people really seeing me scares me more than the thought of how many people won’t understand.

    4 users thanked author for this post.
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  • Author
    • #130111
      DeeAnn Hopings


      I think it is important to remember that our lives are the reason that we seek to reconcile our thoughts to our physicality. We do it do it for us; not others. There may be positive aspects that impact others, but those are secondary…

    • #130102
      Terri Anne

      Hello Karma,

      Welcome to our TransgGender Heaven (TGH) site: A Wonderful, Accepting, Loving, Helpful Community where you can be safe and be yourself.
      The Warmth, Compassion and Hospitality of our community members can be found throughout the site.
      You can read about the knowledge and experiances of others on a similar path by reading articles and in the forums and chatting in chat rooms.
      My hope is that you will become comfortable here and make many new friends.

      Glad you are here,
      Terri Anne, Ambassador

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    • #130084

      Hi Karma, having a supportive spouse is so great. Even if she is trying to assimilate things it sounds like she wants you to be your true self. Remeber, the mask only keeps you from letting anyone else in. And we spend SO much emotional energy maintaining the mask that we don’t have anything left to give ourselves to others.

      I spent over 60 years keeping the mask on, and my marriage could end (not just due to this), but I am feeling more centered and at peace since I told God if He wasn’t going to “fix” this, then how can He use me for His kingdom. I now feel a pull to a second career in either ministry or counseling to help others who want to dismantle their masks and to know that God is pleased that we stop the hiding, lying, and suffering.

      Welocme, and lots of hugs,


      1 user thanked author for this post.
    • #130077

      Hi; I know how you feel about the beard, mine comes off this weekend but comes back when my mother returns from holiday…but the waxed eyebrows stay 😉

      I’m so sorry to hear about the past- but onwards to a brighter future!

      1 user thanked author for this post.
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