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I am Shena, 50 years old and pre everything and essentially at the start of my journey where I am learning to accept and own the gender identity that I have repressed for so many years. The last year and a half has pushed me to the point where I need to do something about all the longings hopes desires and feeling that I have been carrying for most of my life.
Like many here, looking back to childhood I knew that something was not right and on and off cross dressed and would feel guilty and purge.
At a later stage and still single, I lived at home entirely as my true self for a period of time. Then searched my heart and struggled to reconcile my faith and relationship with God and reverted to living as a man again. not too long after, I got married to an extremely precious lady.
She understood that I had dressed en femme and went through the period I mentioned earlier before where I went through a time where I wanted nothing more to be a woman. But, that I was over that then. A few years down the line I had the same longings and again went for counseling and worked through them again.
Now nine years into our marriage I have been slammed so hard with gender dysphoria that I can’t think straight most days.
I started seeing a psychologist who has worked with transgender people and is graciously understanding and affirming.
My precious wife is entirely against my becoming a woman and I respect and understand her stance.
I have been rambling, so sorry, my hope and desire is to make friends here and build friendships. I am at a place where I am desperate to be able to talk to people who are going or have been through the same experiences.
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