HI! :D

  • Creator
    Topic
  • #113889
    Alyssa Vance
    Participant

    Hi everybody, I’m Alyssa!

    Well not yet, as I’m just getting started. I’m 40, assigned male at birth,  from California originally but I’m now in Oklahoma.  The pandemic and a mental/sexual “epiphany” made me reconsider a lot of current and past situations, mannerisms, events and emotions.  I’m seeing them now with a new acceptance and love for myself.  Everything I do to explore my femme side, Alyssa, feels so good.  I’m happy but…

    I am very much in love with my wife, Lucy.  She is my soulmate and we have been through good and bad times in our 8 years of marriage and still generally are quite happy.   Our sex life could be better, but that’s another story.

    What I am looking for help with is help figuring out the words to say to Lucy when I come out as MtF maybe to her, and how to understand and accept her reactions.  I’m terrified that coming out to her will be devastating for her.  She is going to feel betrayed.  And the longer I wait, the more upset she may be getting.

    She is very accepting and open person, don’t get me wrong.  But, this may completely blindside her.  Or maybe it’ll all make sense to her and our life will be even better.

    I am seeing my therapist tomorrow for our second appointment (first one was awesome).  I’m so excited because my therapist gave me homework to pick something feminine to wear and bring it with me to our next session.  I chose a small collection of makeup and brushes so I’m hoping she will help put makeup on.  I also want to get a small hair clip for my hair, like maybe in the Girls department of wally world.   She said I could keep whatever items I brought with her in the office so it will be less likely for my wife to inadvertently find them.  I still present completely masculine, with a goatee (blech that I secretly hate).

    Gosh this turned out to be long.  Thanks to those who read through it all.  I apologize in advance for errors in spelling or grammar.

    Thank you, its great to be part of this community!

     

    2 users thanked author for this post.
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    • #114112
      Terri Anne
      AMBASSADOR

      Hi Alyssa,

      Welcome to our wonderful, accepting, loving, helpful community where you can be safe and be yourself.

      You can read about the knowledge and experiances of others on a similar path by reading articles and in the forums and chatting in chat rooms.
      My hope is that you will become comfortable here and make many new friends.

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      Regards,
      Terri Anne, Ambassador

    • #113892

      Hi Alyssa , you know even for yourself contemplating a gender change is difficult for yourself let alone drop the bomb – I myself  new at around 5 early 1960’s wanting the physical body , the way to naturally feel everything a girl was privileged to be and just suffered for 56 years until 2018 going to rehab again and said to myself ” that’s it ” I’m just sick of this sh#t and changed all documents while in rehab Birth Certificate , Banking , Drivers License everything fall of 2018  , went to the Kamol Hospital in 2019 Bangkok twice June and Oct. 2019 and did it – I was not a person who ever dated all my life to even just see if I’d like it , NO I just wanted me 1 st , I guess selfish just for me and No one else – things aren’t perfect but I’m better off and I love being a girl , everything , my new equipment works great , the whole anchalata – for me there’s No regrets – I was a hard core M to F Transgender gal from a childhood dream that felt very natural to me but was forced to be the social norm except never dated , now I need to try dating but it’s not on my top list though – maybe get a copy of ( TransAmerica ) watch it with the wife , have pizza , and see her reaction ( not to be sneaky against her ) but if she’s open to understanding the movie and has Humility and compassion for the story told then you can decide how to tell her how you really feel – XO – Krystal

    • #113890

      Alyssa,you are right about she will most likely feel betrayed and lied to, and you smart to start now, I wait until I was 59 and almost 40 years together. In my defense I wasn’t sure I was trans and not just a closeted Crossdresser. good luck girlfriend.

      Huggs timmie

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