Hi everyone.

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    Topic
  • #116890
    Danielle Smith
    Participant

    Hello everyone, I’m new to this community. I have always known about not being what I was told I was since I was little. I remember my nana always saying “she should’ve been a boy that one.” I always knew, I just never though about it being much more than a pipe dream. I guess 19 years was what it took for me to not be able to ignore it anymore. I probably wouldn’t ever come out to anyone, no one knows just me, myself and I. But it makes me happy just being able to come to terms with it. Who knows maybe some time in the future I will let other people know. But for now while I’m dependent on my family and I live under the same roof as them, it’ll be my little secrete. Thanks for listening to my TED talk I guess. What’s everyone else’s experience.

    3 users thanked author for this post.
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    • #117830
      Terri Anne
      AMBASSADOR

      Hi Danielle,

      Welcome to our wonderful, accepting, loving, helpful community where you can be safe and be yourself.

      You can read about the knowledge and experiances of others on a similar path by reading articles and in the forums and chatting in chat rooms.
      My hope is that you will become comfortable here and make many new friends.

      ======== TGH Membership PLANS ===================
      https://transgenderheaven.com/choose-your-plan/#link_acc-1-3-d

      =========== TGH How-to Navigation ============================
      https://transgenderheaven.com/forums/topic/member-howto-for-navigating-the-tgh-website/

      Glad you are here. Looking forward to more sharing,
      Regards,
      Terri Anne, Ambassador

    • #116909
      DeeAnn Hopings
      AMBASSADOR

      Danielle:

      Glad you found us!

      While there are some similarities in how the lives of trans people progress, no two stories are ever exactly alike. There are too many variables. In my case, I came out in front of about 130 people and over the course of a month (October 2015) the finale total was ~210 people. Leading up to that, I had The Discussion with my daughter and son (both grown and married), 7 0r 8 close friends and my, then, department manager. I was 67 at the time and was 4 months from retirement. Further, I wouldn’t recommend what I did, but it suited me. I believe the important thing is to do what makes sense to you. There really isn’t a right or wrong here.

      However, there is one bit of information that is significant. It is infinitely better to come out rather than being outed. If you are outed, you get thrown into a defensive posture and it is extremely difficult to recover from that. Coming out is about being able to tell your story, your way. If you lose the narrative, someone else will be telling your story, but it won’t be Your Story…

      • #116944

        Aww thankyou DeeAnn. That sounds amazing, id love to have as much confidence as you. Id love to come out one day but today usnt that day. I cant see it happening in the near furture. I have an extremely homophobic and transphobic dad who i still rely on. Id hate to ruin a relationship for something i dont know much about yet. This is all so new to me. Its really refreshing to kniw that coming out can be met with welcome and acceptance. It gives me alot of hope. But one thing thats for sure, if or when i do come out, itll deffinately be my story. Thankyou for the support and advice, you sound like an amazing person with a lot of life experience.

        • #116945
          DeeAnn Hopings
          AMBASSADOR

          72 years = Lots of Life Experience!?!?

          I think the significant part to remember from what I said is that we are all different. The idea is to find what makes sense to you, what you can live with and what you can do. The outcome of that equation is unique to each of us and at the heart of why I don’t recommend what I did. Sometimes, not all the time, but sometimes I have this “Go Big or Go Home” mindset and I just need to respond to that. I often surprise myself, but I think on some level, that is what is needed.

          Anyway, but thoughtful, be deliberate and allow what you do to be a combination of what your head tells you and what your heart tells you. I believe that one without the other doesn’t get us very far…

          1 user thanked author for this post.
    • #116897
      Michelle Larsen
      MANAGING AMBASSADOR

      Daniella, welcome to our neck of the world. I do hope you are getting situated and seeing all there is here. Please let me know if you have any questions. Either I, or someone else, will make sure we reply back. I do so hope you will join us in the Chatroom. I enjoy chatting there a lot. If you look in Social -> Member Directory, you can search for other people that may be near by. Or under Places -> Local Places, you can search for all sorts of things that may be near you. Hope to see you chatting soon. Oh, and don’t forget about digging through the Articles and Forums. Loads of information there. And this is a link to some info about navigating the website – https://transgenderheaven.com/forums/topic/member-howto-for-navigating-the-tgh-website/. Hugs, Michelle

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