Hi, I am Dawn

[Dawn]

I just joined Transgender Heaven a few minutes ago. This is a new experience for me and I find that I am a bit anxious.

In spite of knowing such to be the case from my earliest memories, being transgendered is not something I have ever been really open about. I am a 64 year old woman who has spent her life masquerading as a man. Only my wife, who passed away four years ago, one of my brothers, a dear friend and an on-line therapist have ever known my true self.

My beautiful wife accepted my disclosure…but really struggled to talk about it until she was diagnosed with cancer. At that point, before she died, she told me to “go for it”. My brother accepted my disclosure but never mentioned it again. My dear friend has tried to maintain our relationship, but has become very uncomfortable and distant. And the therapist has been wonderfully supportive and encouraging. It is because of her that I have been able to muster the courage to join Transgender Heaven.

I am hoping to simply be myself here with none of the defenses that have characterized my life. Additionally, I hope to learn and grow. Most of the posts that I have read reveal stories that are much further down the road than I. I honestly don’t know where my journey is headed but find solice in finding that I am not the only one on this path.

[Bobi Hegony]

Hi Dawn,

I’m quite new here too. I think that if I’d known more earlier in my life and there was the acceptance that there is these day I would have seriously concidered transgendering. I have chosen not to feel dysphoric. I have accepted myself. I have been to councilling which taught me a great deal. I have chosen not to transgender. I express myself as I am. I shop for clothes and accessories with confidence for the first time in my life as I know what I want and simply buy and wear it. Peopleccan think what they want. I don’t want a label. There are so many good articles and stories on this site. I’m still learning  so much.

[Anonymous]

You have a very powerful story to tell, Dawn. I think everyone here can relate to it in one way or another. You’ve got friends here though, so don’t be afraid to reach out and say Hi. We’re here to help you through it. I personally am not very far along in my transition journey either. I’ve resigned myself to just focusing on losing weight and seeing if that helps me any before deciding to try HRT or surgery. So I’m just in the very beginning. But I, much like you, have always felt that I was not meant to be the gender I was assigned at birth. I’m a little different in that I was born female and wish to be male, but I think I can still see very much where you are coming from and we could be friends. I wish you nothing but the best. Welcome to TGH, Dawn.

[Dawn]

Thanks Xelyn!  Your welcome means so very much! I would love to become your friend. FTM or MTF doesn’t really matter as we are both simply struggling to be our true selves. I hope we can become friends!

[Stephanie Jones]

Welcome aboard Dawn. I am new here too, and your story is stunningly like my own. Two friends and my sister know that I am bi, and all has gone re-assuringly well.

 

Let’s continue this trend, shall we 🙂

 

Stephanie xo

[Stephanie Jones]

P.S. My condolences for your loss. I cannot imagine

[Author]

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