Hi, I have questions.

  • Creator
  • #88809
    Rune Arcana

    Hello all.

    So Im pretty worried you guys are going to call me a poser or something, even though this is supposed to be a safe place, but there are a few things I have questions about..

    But I guess Ill give some context first, so you can nip this in the bud right at the start if you so desire.

    Im biologically a woman, but I grew up all 32 years of my life as a tomboy, who generally only had male friends because I understood them, but I dont understand women.

    Ive called myself gender neutral all these years. I have masculine and feminine traits and I dont consider it a bad thing.. Even if I were to become trans I would be at least somewhat effeminate.

    When I look at my pictures, where I look like a woman and where Im crossdressing to a small degree, I always prefer the crossdressing pictures better. Honestly I think it sums me up better. I already have a rather masculine face.

    Even though Im emotional, my interests are things that are most often considered masculine and I have a good grasp of logic, even though I dont always use it.

    I have had a male persona for a long time. I always called him my spirit lover, but I have also felt like we are two halves of the same whole. I dated a lot of men trying to find him in the real world somehow but never did. Deep down I feel like I want to be him.


    ok.. now for the questions.. if I look more masculine than feminine but choose to never have bottom surgery am I still trans?

    How much are hormones? What exactly do they do? Do they increase sexual interest and desire at all?

    How do trans guys get their voices to become so deep? hormones or vocal practice or some combination of the two?

    Is there a place where people will give you objective feedback about how well you pass?

    I saw on a video about trans men that if you identify as a man, youre a man, and it doesnt get much simpler than that. I found that a huge relief because it all sounds so complicated. Is it true though?

    theres more than this, just cant think of them right now.


    Sorry this was such a chaotic mess.. Its kind of hard to describe this stuff.

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  • Author
    • #88920
      DeeAnn Hopings

      Rune (interesting name, by the way):

      We are either trans or we are not. We don’t “become” and this is also true for gay people. But, often it requires peeling the onion, so to speak, in order to get to our real truth. For some of us, and myself included, the real truth comes after years, sometimes decades, of denial and avoidance.

      There are MANY people who never have any sort of affirmation surgery for various reasons. Some of the reasons are: money (assuming that you have approvals, but have no insurance coverage and cannot self-fund), can’t take 6 weeks off work or from being a caregiver for someone for recovery, being in a high risk category for surgery or a desire not to have a fairly invasive surgical procedure. However, not of that has anything to do with what you feel psychologically. Some time ago I read that only about 30% of trans people have affirmation surgery.

      I don’t know of any specific web sites, but I do know there are a number of FTM Facebook pages. That might be a good starting point…

    • #88814

      Heres a better one.

    • #88812

      Thank you for the welcome and for answering the questions you could.

      I cant upload my other pics so heres one from Facebook.

    • #88811

      I don’t have all your answers Rune, I just want to say you are not a poser and Welcome to TGH.

      Being transgender is about you knowing who you are, not what other people would label you. Otherwise many of us may not fit into anything.  As for passing, I am not a big fan of judgment in that way but can offer constructive criticism if thats what your asking.

      Hormones work some miracles and from what I understand FTM transition HT will lower your voice and put you into a second puberty.  And from experience of my own first puberty, its different for everyone. Sexual frustration is there. Not some I would want to experience again but for you if thats what you expect and accept to happen. I’ll be here to tell you there is always another tomorrow.

      I hope you decide to stay and if you send me a message with question I’ll try to answer.

      2 users thanked author for this post.
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