- February 21, 2022 at 5:42 pm #127156
- February 26, 2022 at 3:32 pm #127412DeeAnn HopingsAMBASSADOR
Glad that you found us!. I hope that the time that you spend here will be beneficial to you going forward.
Coming Out process is an interesting one. The easy part is that you get to define how things sit for you to others. The hard part is that you get to define how things sit for you to others.
It is almost always better to come out rather than be outed. If you get outed, it becomes very hard for you to say what you need to say, in the ways that you would like to say it. People are placed on the defensive, arguments start and things may be said that are regrettable. What I would recommend is:
- Do research on the transgender movement, the lives of transgender people and the Coming Out Process for trans people
- Put some conscious thought into what you need to say
- Describe what you thought about yourself in the past
- Describe how you think of yourself now (the idea is to convey the thought is that you have had these feelings for a long time; it is NOT a whim or the product of confusion)
- Put your thoughts together in print
- Could be text or bullet points, but it helps to crystallize your thinking
- However, I don’t recommend that you read it when you have the discussion as it might work to take some of the sincerity out of the process
- Try to anticipate possible questions
- Be truthful
- Don’t be afraid to admit that you don’t know something
What I wrote above is not set in concrete. These are the things that come to mind for me, but realize that every situation is different.
- February 22, 2022 at 1:50 pm #127179Terri AnneAMBASSADOR
Welcome to our wonderful, accepting, loving, helpful community where you can be safe and be yourself.
You can read about the knowledge and experiances of others on a similar path by reading articles and in the forums and chatting in chat rooms.
My hope is that you will become comfortable here and make many new friends.
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Glad you are here.
Terri Anne, Ambassador
- February 22, 2022 at 1:49 pm #127178Allie Jane O’RourkeFREE
Hi Vicky Rose Torres I’m still at school and have not been able to come out to many people yet as I don’t know how to come out to my family and I don’t want them to find out without me telling them. Any tips on how to come out to your family?
Anyway, since I knew I was transgender, around about 15, I started to realise that I think I’d always known I was a women but I tried to suppress it as it wasn’t as accepted as it is now. Also I didn’t really know you could change your gender to match how you felt inside so I just accepted that I was a boy because that’s what everybody told me.
It would be great to have a transgender friend to talk about my experiences with who understands what I’m going through so if you want to chat via email my email is [email protected], ewww I hate it because it uses my deadname, if not we can continue to talk over this.
- February 23, 2022 at 1:14 pm #127206Vicky TorresFREE
I have been in prison for 19 years and finally got released on Dec 27th, of last year. I am a 65 yr old Hispanic Veteran, who knew since the age of 7 yrs old that I should of been born a female. I never let anyone about it, because I buried those feelings deep down inside and tried to fit into the male role, so that I could have friends and hang around them. I put on a mask as a male to be able to be accepted, but it was destroying me in the inside.
I was married twice and had children from both ex-wives in order to be able to be accepted in the group. Neither of my ex’s or children know about me. I had it hidden for about 50+ yrs, before I decided that I couldn’t keep it hidden anymore.
So in 2015, while still in prison, I finally came out and let everyone know about me being a transgender. While in prison, I got myself classified as a transgender and got alot of hassles from other inmates at first, but wanted to fight for that, but I thought that I would be the one paying the price for fighting. As time, went by, I just didn’t let it bother me what they were saying. I did get classified in prison, but I had to keep on them to get it done because they were giving me the round around.
I have never been a transgender in the community and this is a new experience for me. I have no family or friends, so I had to do everything by myself and it isn’t easy especially with the virus. Everything is done by appointments and some of them are around 1 to 2 months before you can be seen. I already have my state ID and Social Security Card with my legal name and I am working on getting screened for SSI and Retirement because of my age, also trying to apply for Medicare.
I have no kind transportation of my own and have to take the bus to wherever I need to go. I am trying to learn the bus routes, so that I can get out more often. It is hard especially if you don’t have nobody to help you with that.
I want to let you know that you look very beautiful in the pictures you sent me and I am glad to have you as a friend. Some of the other transgenders that I have met, they don’t really want to keep in contact with me and I don’t understand why. I am the quiet type person, who isn’t looking for attention or to be noticed. I mind my own business and I will talk to anyone who wants to know about who I am, or just to have a conversation.
I am getting adjusted to this new surroundings and will never regret who I am because this was the way I wanted to be since 7 yrs old. All my family is passed away and I am the only survivor left. I never got a chance to let my family know about me and I feel bad because I had that secret hidden for so long. Growing up where I am from, I probably would of not be alive now, as this was not known at that time, like it is now.
I now see the world in a totally different way than I used to as a male and I am happy to finally be who I really am, I don’t care what others think or say. I have been judged by the so-called real Christians. I know that God must have a purpose for me, being who I am now and He will let me know at His timing what my purpose is.
I have been a Christian since 1989 and only left God for about 2 yrs, because I blame Him for everything that was wrong in my life. At that time I was doing Bible Correspondence Courses and I wanted to get rid of everything, but something inside said no, keep them and put them away. I tried other different religions, but I didn’t feel comfortable. Around the end of the 2 yrs, all of a sudden, I got back to doing the Bible Courses and up to now I am still doing them. I know that God loves me no matter what I have done in my life and I will not leave Him again.
I guess this is all I can think of letting you know about me. Will you tell me more about yourself. Hope to hear from you soon. May God bless you and thank you for being a friend.
- February 21, 2022 at 7:08 pm #127165Vicky TorresFREE
Hi Allie Jane,
My name is Vicky Rose Torres and I am a 65 yr old Hispanic trans woman and I am looking for friends to meet and share stories of how our life has changed since becoming a transgender.
I knew at 7 yrs old that I should of been born a female and I kept it secret for 50+ yrs. As I was growing up, I had an emotional side of feminity, but buried those feelings deep down inside, so that I could fit into the male role. I never have been a transgender in the community and this is a brand new world to me.
I came out while I was in prison in 2015. When I finally came out, it felt like a bid weight was taken off. I did get alot of hassles from other inmates about who I was, but I was happy to finally be the person who I really was and I have never regretted. I don’t know any other transgenders who want to be friends.
I hope that you and I can become friends and encourage, as well as be supportive of each other. When I came out in prison, I was scared and ready to fight if I had to defend myself, but only got hassles from other inmates or they tried to see how far they could go with me. I am proud and have alot of respect for myself.
Please tell me about yourself and how has your life been since you knew, you were a transgender.
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