hi im bobbie

  • Creator
    Topic
  • #96464
    bobbie lewis
    Participant

    im emerging and coming to terms with who i really am. im 60 yrs old. i have 4 kids and a wife. my wife knows ive cross dressed and confronted me about it. i denied it was anything but fooling around. the kids dont know anything and if im outed the shame and humilation they could face makes me downright sick. i dont think i could face them about it.

    at the same time i when i dress and put on makeup i get a euphoria i cant explain. i feel so right and feminine. i really suck at putting on makeup and i look ugly. i want so bad to get a pro makeover just to see if i can be pretty but i cant risk it. i have no one to talk to and im just so unhappy that i want to cry but i cant..

    im hoping i can connect with someone just to talk with.

    im so alone.

    1 user thanked author for this post.
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    Replies
    • #96478
      DeeAnn Hopings
      AMBASSADOR

      Bobbie:

      Glad you dropped in. There are folks here all across the spectrum, so I am sure that your message will resonate. As you can tell, at lot of things hang in the balance for us as we try to adjust our circumstances to something that we can live with.

      So, some thoughts…

      • Try the M>F Chat Room. The link is up in the menu.
      • Do an Internet search for LGBT resources in your area. Even though some may be a bit far away, many are offering therapy sessions and support groups over ZOOM.
      • Please complete your Profile page. It helps other members get a sense of your situation and what you want to do. Unlike regular posts, which are locked shortly after submission, your page can be updated at any time if something changes.
      • We have a search utility. If you want to look for other members in your area, click on Social in the menu and then Member Directory.
    • #96473

      Hello Bobbie,

      I feel your pain.  I am age 58.   I have a wife too, although long distance relationship right now but I am taking care of my mom every day.   My sister knows about me and is supportive.

      From my experiences; counseling, support group therapy and personal life experiences, I know that I am dealing with a force that I am powerless force.    Basically the arousal feeling is lust, or a dopamine rush and the feeling activates similar areas of the brain as does cocaine and heroine.   The feelings a CD can get from arousal are very similar to what a sex addict experiences with sex addiction.  Look up videos on sex addiction and you will find some amazing similarities, although crossdressing per say is not an addiction of any kind.  The intensity comes from denial of the self, too many years in the closet which became internalized transphobia.     Probably the only way to calm the feelings down and control the euphoria is probably going to be by gradually stepping out of the closet and get used to it.

    • #96467

      sure kimmi. thanks so much

    • #96465

      im emerging and coming to terms with who i really am. im 60 yrs old. i have 4 kids and a wife. my wife knows ive cross dressed and confronted me about it. i denied it was anything but fooling around. the kids dont know anything and if im outed the shame and humilation they could face makes me downright sick. i dont think i could face them about it.

      at the same time i when i dress and put on makeup i get a euphoria i cant explain. i feel so right and feminine. i really suck at putting on makeup and i look ugly. i want so bad to get a pro makeover just to see if i can be pretty but i cant risk it. i have no one to talk to and im just so unhappy that i want to cry but i cant..

      im hoping i can connect with someone just to talk with.

      im so alone.

      I can truly relate to you honey! I feel soo much like you do! Will you be my friend?

       

       

       

       

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