- This topic has 15 replies, 7 voices, and was last updated 3 years ago by Rachel Stephens.
- AuthorPosts
- November 19, 2020 at 3:30 pm #90837Anonymous
Hi All, Jackie here, looking forward to meeting others. I am a married life long crossdresser who is now 61 and have taken the plunge 6 months and started HRT. A scary step for me as my wife is not aware i am on HRT. She knows i crossdress and has known for 35 plus years. But i felt it was time i did something for myself. However with not having any one to talk to about this i have a deep feeling of loneliness, hoping to meet others like my self who i can chat with and hopefully become friends .
- November 19, 2020 at 4:18 pm #90840
Hi there, Jackie. Yes, there are people like you around. I am a 48-year-old transgender woman. I have been on HRT for about 3 years now, and have been living as a woman for about 4 years. I do know how lonely a person can feel going through a transition like this. So, if you would like a friend to confide in, or even just a virtual shoulder to cry on please feel free to contact me.
- November 19, 2020 at 8:15 pm #90849Anonymous
Oh my god Charlotte thank you so much for the kinds words and letting me be able to reach out to you I would love to talk with some time. As you have been on our wonderful path for three years I do have some questions and being able to talk to someone else would be wonderful. Thank you so much.
hugs
jackie
- November 19, 2020 at 9:06 pm #90854Anonymous
I would agree with your comment about loneliness. I am surrounded by family and many trans friends but I am frequently lonely because there is no one in my life that loves me for the real me. My wife tells herself she does love me but she admits it is the fake person that I used to pretend to be.
Most of my trans friends that transitioned many years ago also indicate they are alone and lonely but have learned to accept it as being better than being with someone that does not love the real them.
- November 19, 2020 at 4:18 pm #90841
You came to the right place! There is a wealth of information here as many have made The Journey.
However, I do have one thought to share…
What do you think your wife’s reaction would be if she discovered what you are doing?
- November 19, 2020 at 8:10 pm #90847Anonymous
Hi Dee Ann,
honestly I really don’t know. We have been together for over 46 years she was always ok with my crossdressing even encourage it to a degree but has never wanted to see me fully dressed. My guess would be she would be ok with me taking hormones but would not want me to go all they way and present as a woman full time. I think that would be a problem if other new especially our family’s.
jackie
- November 19, 2020 at 7:02 pm #90843Anonymous
Hello Jackie. Welcome to the site. I am an older trans girl also. Like you I started HRT without telling my wife. I had been out to her for 2 years. Six months later after starting HRT she asked me if I was taking hormones and I said yes. When asked why we had not discussed it first (same as getting her permission) I asked her would she have said yes to my taking hormones if I had asked her first. And of course the answer was no.
As trans girls we have to do whatever we can to survive. No one else will do it for us.
- November 19, 2020 at 7:45 pm #90844Anonymous
My wife hasn’t noticed anything as of yet. My breast are a little bigger as I have always had breast Gyno since I was young. She actually like them and always has. But they are getting bigger so she might question it. How has she handled it now that she knows you are on hormones?
- November 19, 2020 at 7:57 pm #90845
Hi Jackie my name is Andria welcome I look forward to getting to know you.
- November 19, 2020 at 8:11 pm #90848Anonymous
Thank you, I do also look forward to getting to know you.
- November 19, 2020 at 8:23 pm #90850
[postquote quote=90847]
The reason I asked is that for MANY spouses, accidental revelations can feel like the worst kind of betrayal. That kind of situation can morph into something really ugly and may have an impact on the health of the relationship.
As the phrase goes, Shit Happens…
- November 19, 2020 at 8:41 pm #90851Anonymous
Yea I know that and I guess that is part of my guilt that I feel. Trust I have come close and I would love to tell her but not knowing what she would do keeps from doing it.
- November 19, 2020 at 8:55 pm #90853Anonymous
I debated whether I should tell my wife I started hormones. If I asked her I knew she would say no. If I did not ask her and she found out she would probably feel betrayed. But for my own health I needed to start the hormones.
After our second child she wanted me to have a vasectomy. Apparently the urologist cut too much and I have only had a barely detectable amount of Testosterone for 17 years. Once it was discovered I started taking Testosterone injections which I did until I finally accepted myself as trans 4 years ago. I was also having uncomfortable side affects to the Testosterone injections. I went three years with no Testosterone and only an average male level of Estrogen until I started HRT 16 months ago. Gender dysphoria was really bad and for my health I made the decision to start HRT.
My wife finding out I started HRT was traumatic but it did not end our marriage. Finally 2 months ago she decided that a straight female could not be married to a lesbian trans female. Only you can look at your situation and make that decision.
- November 20, 2020 at 5:02 am #90855Anonymous
Thanks for the insight Jamie, I appreciate you sharing your story with me.
hugs Jackie
- November 20, 2020 at 5:18 am #90856
Hi, Jackie! Hopefully you’ll find your life a little less lonely by being here…as you can already see from the responses to your first post, we genuinely care about one another and will support you in any way we can!
Hugs! Shawna
- November 20, 2020 at 10:18 am #90866
Hi Jackie,
I can offer no advice to you at all but lets hope someone on here can help you. From one newbee to another its nice to meet you.Rachel x
- AuthorPosts
- The forum ‘Introductions and new members’ is closed to new topics and replies.