Hi, new and confused

  • Creator
  • #93900
    Ruth Botting


    Well I am new here and just learning who I am, any help would be greatly appreciated


    With thanks

    Ruth x

    1 user thanked author for this post.
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  • Author
    • #93975

      Hi Ruth,


      Could you tell us a little more about your journey up to this point? None of us have any agenda. We are just curious to get to know you and provide a safe space for you to say things out loud šŸ™‚


      How has it been coming out to your partner? I recently came out to mine and am glad to discover that after an initial phase of difficulty integrating this new perception, they are and have always been my ally.

      1 user thanked author for this post.
      • #94021


        I think, like a lot of us, the story starts from one of my earliest memories.

        I was dared by my brother to wear some of my mums tights, I must have been about 10, as soon as I tried them on it was like a click inside my head. It felt so right

        Since then over the years I hid my dressing with such a feeling of guilt and self hatred, I was only ever caught as a child and never told anyone in my adult years.

        Partners and kids come along and I pushed the feeling down, denying what I am feeling.

        My depression only getting worse, until I am feeling suicidal. Banruptcy, divorce, death of my parents as a young age, all not helping my feelings.

        Now aged 47 and after several years of counselling I have dealt with a lot of issues, now I have got to deal with this.

        So told my partner about my dressing, expecting her to explode. But surprisingly she didn’t, she doesnt understand but she isn’t running away which is a good thing.

        Now the question is where am I on this spectrum and what would help me be happy within myself. Do I go all the way and transition or am I content with just dressing in the house or somewhere in between. I know no one can answer this but me

        Well thats the high and low lights of my life

        Ruth x

    • #93934
      DeeAnn Hopings


      Yes, many here are dealing with, or have dealt with, what you mentioned. I think what is important to remember is that it is a process and a journey. Deliberate thought is helpful because there is the potential for some VERY major changes to our lives; things that our minds will resist due to the upheaval it may bring.

      However, the journey of 1000 miles begins with the first step. It is the way it has always been and always will be.

      There are many members here from the UK. You can search for them by clicking on Social in the menu and then Member Directory. That will leave you at the search utility.

      I suggest that you complete your Profile page. It is a living document that you can update to reflect the decisions you’ve made, the changes in your life, etc. It helps other members to get to know you and understand your situation and progress.

      • #93937

        I know I have a lot of thinking to do and try to bottom out how I am feeling.

        I am trying to be realistic about my expectations and that needs a lot of thought

        Thank you for the advise and I will update my profile

        Ruth x

    • #93919

      Hi! Im new here also and like you I am beginning my journey to my authentic self! You are not alone Ive been on 2 months hrt and its really helped me

      • #93938

        Hi Anita

        I have only now gone to my GP so a long way off from getting hormones, and I’m glad it is really helping you be yourself

        Ruth x

    • #93902

      Iā€™m fairly new here myself Ruth. Just want to welcome you and say thank you for having the courage to be here. This is a wonderfully safe space. You can be your genuine, authentic self or at least work towards that, as it seems we never fully arrive. Have a great day! šŸŒ…

      2 users thanked author for this post.
      • #93903

        Thank you, I have to say this is tough and I know its only going to get tougher. But not doing anything is not an option, I’ve tried that for 47 years and it’s not good.

        Thank you again for your kind words

        1 user thanked author for this post.
    • #93963

      Slings are always handy, altho not sure of the costs šŸ˜…šŸ¤£

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