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Hi everyone, thanks for the easy entrance to your site. I don’t really know if I am in the right place, but I hope so.
I am confused about what I am. I am male. I was brought up by a man hating woman who punished anything she thought of as a masculine trait severely. I have had several long term relationships with women only to end up being called their best girlfriend. I became a people pleaser sensitive healer guy as that was what my adopted mothers expectation was. I became a counsellor/social worker and for the most partΒ have had a successful rewarding life.
5 years ago I became single again and started writing about my childhood only to find a lot of confusion around my identity. I thought my feminine ways were due to my upbringing but now I am not sure. I have always felt feminine, but have tried to meld that into the sensitive man image. 2years ago I dressed for Β the first time how I really felt only to find I felt like a different person, somehow my energy felt free. Well to cut a long story short, I felt hooked like I had to continue. So here I am dressing every night, and I can’t wait to get home to the new and private me. Where to from here,? And is it to late at 58 for me. I am here looking for like minds that might have something similar going on….Thanks….
Hi, Bran –
Welcome!
Only you can decide who/what you are, as your training as a counselor must have told you.
Too late? Nope. I started HRT a week ago, and I’m 68.
In my mind it all boils down to figuring out what you really want, what you can reasonably accomplish, and what you’re willing to accept as a compromise if necessary.
Not always easy, but doable.
If you like, pm me. I’m very open and willing to share what I know, as are many others on this site.
With love,
Cassandra
Thanks for your help and support. I have felt more feminine than male all my life. I have been nurturing sensitive and emotional all along. I have lived an unsatisfactory life as I have lived the normal way for guys and my attempts to be manly have made me a Fake. My women partners have all said I made the best girlfriend. Time for me now….
Hi Bran, welcome to TGH!Β I started transition in earnest last year at age 52.Β We all have our experiences that may be signs of who we are or what others may have been responding to about us in our memories.Β Β But, what matters is who we are right now and discovering that is the amazing part.Β You can PM too if you want to talk.
Hugs, Ambassador Cloe
Hi Bran,
I can’t claim any similar experience to yours, but as someone who’s the same age, I strongly believe that it’s nature and not nurture that is the determining factor that leads one to questioning, which may or may not lead you to the possibility that you’re trans or simply feel more comfortable expressing yourself at home. As Cassandra indicated, only you know what’s going on inside, and no, it’s never too late. Often times these simple words may seem clichΓ©, but in fact are the basis for everything in one’s life, irregardless of whether one is gay, trans, cd, etc.
For me it was a long road of depression, realization and ultimately acceptance of who I was on the inside, and that there was a disconnect between body and mind. Like Cloe and Cassandra, I got off to a late start, but I’m finally happy and it’s certainly better late than never!. There’s now a spring in my step and a sparkle in my eye that hasn’t been there since I was a kid.
The most important part of any of this is acceptance; both of who you are or are not, as well as being realistic and working with what you’ve got. Whether you’re trans or maybe a crossdresser, the main thing is to be you and to be happy, and as Cassandra said, it comes down to figuring out what you want, what you can reasonably accomplish, and the compromises you’re willing to accept. Best wishes!
Hugs, peace and much love,
MJHello, and to answer your 1st question, yes you are in the right place. Β We all have different backgrounds but if you have the question about your gender identity this place might yield up the answers. Β Now if you are this gender or that? Β That is with in you none of us can tell you we can only share experiences common or not. Β And by relation to them will understanding come. Β We will also help celibate understandings when you get them.π
And by no is it too late, as the other girls mentioned. In fact on the positive side of studying later in life is you have a lot of life experience and wisdom to bounce the issues off of and it sounds like you have that in plenty. Β Those early bird girls might get there sooner in life but will have missed the life journey late bloomers get.
Take care and hope you find what you seek.
Miriya
πππ
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