- This topic has 15 replies, 5 voices, and was last updated 2 weeks ago by Jill Lacey.
- March 16, 2023 at 7:12 am #136522Jill LaceyParticipant
Often I read about the struggles many in the LGBT2SAQ+ community regarding their inability to secure safe, clean, affordable housing. The age for these individuals spans the spectrum. Often many just do not know how to go about finding housing that will suit their needs. Young people in particular currently living in toxic environments struggle with this and think they have no way forward. Us older gals have hopefully secured our financial positions so for the most part, we don’t have this issue, but, there are many still in the senior group that do fall into this dilemma. A few years ago I was discussing with my better half, the possibility of tracking down investors to build several combo retirement/ respite senior complexes exclusively for lgbt2sai+ seniors that wish to continue to live out their remaining days and express their true selves and most importantly, be supported by staff that are themselves, lgbt2sai+. There currently is, and will only continue to be, a need for housing, for all ages, period.
So how do we get a database worldwide, for landlords who are friendly to us, to advertise their units available so anyone in need has a path to moving forward in their lives? I’m getting too old to take on a huge project constructing buildings, parks, etc. someone younger than me needs to see the real need and take on the task. Anyone here interested? I do know there are many Engineers, Accountants, Lawyers, in our communities so common girls, let s get this party started.
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- March 18, 2023 at 10:00 am #136603
Phase one research; Im going to start UCLA law publications for LGBQ housing instability. Please provide other good sites for information. Problem is, I will forget most of it before I get to the end.
- March 18, 2023 at 9:40 am #136602
You are so dead on what needs to happen. If we do not do it, it is not going to happen and being a victim is just not healthy. I need to recover some from an illness and I’m old as well; however, give me some time and this may be a great project. I have Project Managment experience at large construction projects; non-residential though. I have also helped architect HVAC, heating and power distribution points. We need certified system designers and architects; do we have any on the house? We need a lawyer; do we have any in the house or do we know one that may help at first? We need a good writer (maybe one with experience with grants) to help prompt some folks and web page content. A database system can get out of control fast; lots of labor for hardware and updates; I have some software dev experience, but I cannot do that anymore; do we have anyone with skills in the house that can help. They will expect a detailed solid plan of success with proper measures, so they know we are achieving what we say. this will also be focused on homeless and suicide prevention; that will help get some support. If we can achieve goals on round one; they may keep supporting us. A goal may not mean make it perfect the first time, but we do need to be professional about improvements to keep obtaining funding. We have a big global team; about time we come together and help ourselves. First step is to create a new post prompting for skills to form a good team for the first project. Time to go global and help us all get rich. OK; I dream a lot, but dreams do come true sometimes and they make me feel good.
- March 17, 2023 at 11:27 pm #136586
I am in the same boat as many, I’m 30 and currently really struggling to make ends meet. My dad was an accountant, and tried to tell me how to handle my money. Most importantly to him was that I was giving to the church. Really, I saw my grandma giving handouts to my dad all the time as he cashed probably close to 100k of checks she wrote him during my lifetime.
As a parent struggling on my own now, I wish my family would support me the same. But I do not have that luxury. I have no contact with my family, now that I’ve embraced my authentic self. They think I need to repent.
But I need serious financial support or advice. I can’t seem to get out of the rut that I’m in, and I feel hopeless. I wish there were better resources for our community.
- March 18, 2023 at 1:35 pm #136606
There’s nothing to repent about. How can being yourself somehow make you less of a person? The church is not going to do anything positive at this point..It can’t, period. Reach out to any local lgbt organizations for any assistance and guidance. Stay positive as possible. You can only go up from here. Fight your heart out and get to where you want to be. You can do it.
- March 18, 2023 at 1:25 pm #136605
Well I spent the last thirty years as an international tax accountant. Sold my firm about five years ago but still maintain an office at the firm. Just can’t seem to quit completely.
- March 18, 2023 at 9:20 am #136600
Breaks my heart hearing your struggles. It is very hard to dig out of the hole. A lot of us was in the same position at 30; do not give up hope. You have so much more life left to find that X-Factor that will allow you to lose that fear of hopelessness. I know a popular Pricher that supports Trans folks (rock and roll man out of Texas) and has a good following on FB. I also know a priest that is like us. So, you do not need to repent because you are who you are. Your physical brain is not the same. Your DNA gender marker may not be the same even; most do not even know about XXY gender marker or how sometimes organs in the body are never found. If so, there is still a lot of extra DNA markers that are discarded as unknowns and are normal for most people; they don’t do nothing. I don’t think you made you. For you not to be you and flourish as the universe expects would be a sin. The construct of man is often to control what you are and how you act. And, it is nice when the church makes the man in charge, and it is overused by a lot of controlling men; you know what they say about power. MY bad (off topic) my ADHD is bad today.
- March 16, 2023 at 10:46 am #136534
It is overwhelming how hard it is for seniors, even if you have more than a year’s rent in savings, great high paying long-term job with no historical issues of any kind and high credit score, one still needs to expect being blocked and needs to be ready to bring in a lawyer in. My example: in a state that is it clearly illegal to discriminate ageist Trans people, I was told I did not have enough income which I was making way more than 3 times a year’s rent (with the same CO for more than 25 years) and had that much in saving with a high credit score. Even after offering to pay a years’ worth of rent up front with deposit, I was told no; i did not qualify. So I laughed and told them the judge will be laughing to at how ridicules and blatant this discrimination case is. I told them I would just hand their names and data to a lawyer and let them file charges. Told them they should be personally served papers soon to attend state cort. They refused to escalate to there management. After telling them a few times, I did not want to do anything to them and would help them get out of it if they escalated to their management or corporate lawyers to validate my case, I would be willing to remove their names from the suit. I told them I would be willing to work with them to escalate; if they did not; I’m sure the judge would find it interesting. After a week, I got a letter from the corporate office out of state approving my lease. I’m sure their lawyers look at the situation and changed their decision. So expect it, be ready for it with documentation or recording and let the lawyer have his fun. If I had not pushed the issue and was looking forward to letting a lawyer have fun, they would have refused me laughing. Not everyone is as lucky as I am, live in a protective state like I do and if they do it to me, they will do it to you. Find help, it is often free. New graduates take on Casses like this for free and it is often a easy win. Stand up, be nice, smile and get a lawyer.
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- March 16, 2023 at 7:11 pm #136541
How sad to hear how individuals can circumvent laws designed to protect. I really doubt the property manager was ever educated regarding the laws, nor reprimanded for their initial decision to prevent you from renting. Anywhere can have laws to prevent prejudices, enforcement of those laws is quite a different thing. Sometimes calling in the dogs is the only way sadly. Thanks for your story.
- March 16, 2023 at 9:09 am #136529DeeAnn HopingsAMBASSADOR
One of the things that I learned from my engineering career is this saying:
How do you eat an Elephant?
One spoonful at a time!
In keeping with that sentiment, I would suggest that a search begin with a few metropolitan areas. That should make the starting point much more manageable.
Here in California I believe that there are some services to help people find housing, at least on a temporary basis. However, probably more people are needed that understand that these programs exist, how to connect people with than and how to navigate the maze of requirements.
- March 16, 2023 at 7:06 pm #136540
I carved an elephant out of granite once. Someone passing by while I was carving asked how I knew how to carve an elephant. l replied, “ I just chisel away the parts that don’t look like an elephant.”
- March 16, 2023 at 7:35 am #136526Michelle LawsonMANAGING AMBASSADOR
Hi Jill. Yes, you are correct, housing can be tough. And housing for older transgender people can be a bigger challenge. Interesting about your ‘database’ question; in that we actually do have a transgender friendly & supportive Local Places directory here at TGH. In fact, I have listed many realtors and communities on there.
And I would just love to list any, and all, places our members identify. There are well over 8000 listings to date. And I’d love to see ten times that listed. You bring, I’ll list them. Hugs, Michelle
- March 17, 2023 at 6:11 am #136548
This place I recommend is not for long term, although they would rent long term if needed is in the DominicannRepublic on the outskirts of Sosua. Very reasonable monthly rates. We have stayed there numerous times for three or four months. Owners know I’m trans and they couldn’t care less. We became good friends. They have three two bedroom cottages each with their own pool. Extremely well kept, extremely private, and secure. Walking distance to Sosua and restaurants. The ocean is across the street. Pack your sunscreen, slip on a bathing suit, and off for the day in the sun or just hang at your pool.
Often I have inquired in many countries and I always tell them I’m trans because I do not want any issues after arriving. Most Latin countries are devout Catholics and do not want to deal with lgbt. I have booked many a place and after mentioning I’m trans and asking if that would be acceptable, the answer is always no. I don’t argue, I just move on. It just a vacation, not an education lesson.
The possibility of finding a place being openly trans is tough at best. It matters not whether short term, long term, local, or off in some distant land. It’s not just about finding a place, but that place needs to be safe as well, safe so one can come and go without fear. An apartment can either look nice or look terrible, but a neighborhood can have surprises one would never expect. Due diligence is the word of the day and that is about as good as it gets.
LGBT did not just arrive, it’s been here since time began, hiding, quietly passing time in an underground world. Everyone involved knew the dangers lurking around the next corner. They went on with their lives, hiding the truths, always in stealth mode. Today life is better without a doubt, but far from where it need be. Basic needs are still hard to acquire, like living accommodations. For people like me, older let’s say, demand for accommodations that provide different levels of assistance will become an issue, and not in the too distant future. Because we grow old does not mean we change who we are. Our needs are the same if not greater. Our ability to express ourselves will not go away simply because of age. The need for proper affordable housing for young and old alike will continue to grow and no one currently seems to want to do anything about it. They talk the talk but when it comes to acting on the issue, we’ll, they find something else to moan about, deflect. Some things never change, and hopefully some do.
Almost forgot, google , “villas brigette “. Perfect English is spoken.
- March 17, 2023 at 7:35 am #136552Michelle LawsonMANAGING AMBASSADOR
Jill, I will check them out and add them to our Local Places. Vacations are always great. Hugs, Michelle
- March 17, 2023 at 7:52 pm #136582
- March 16, 2023 at 7:20 pm #136543
Thanks Michelle, I’ll check it out. We were in the market to buy a winter home in Florida awhile back and used, gay realtors.com to do our searching which helped in securing a home in a neighbourhood that the realtor knew to be gender tolerant.
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