How do I help my husband understand?

  • Creator
  • #112761

    How do I help my husband under why I feel the need to go through with changing genders?

    Alright, so a little background on me. Although I’ve always sort of “known” I was ftm trans, I finally was able to put it into words about 10 years ago (I was in high school). I’ve been with my husband for about 4 years now, and he has always known but I’ve not been out publicly. I finally decided to take the leap and came out at work (I work at a major grocery store in my city). It has gone really well for me, and thankfully my husband has been extremely supportive of me, but he recently said that his only real question is why do I feel the need to change my gender. For me I just know, but how do I better explain this to him? I know that he logics his way through everything and I really want to help him understand so that he can better support me. Does anyone have suggestions on how I can help him here?

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    • #112903
      DeeAnn Hopings

      Difficult topic.

      There’s Knowing and there’s Understanding and they really are two distinct things. Perhaps you both may need to work with a therapist to help get to the real understanding. Another problem is that if you do say what you need to say, is it heard as you intended? Your husband needs to be able to process what he was told and figure out how to respond. I think the situation becomes very complicated when it involves someone that you have considerable feelings for (considering both people), so a therapist can act as sort of a buffer, interpreter and as a neutral third party in order to keep the discussions useful.

      I encourage you to complete your Profile page. It goes a long way towards other members understanding what’s happening for you and next steps. While all threads eventually sink to the bottom of the pile, your Profile page will always be readily accessible and can be updated at any time.

      If you would like to search for other members who may be near you, click on Social in the menu and then Member Directory.

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