How do you move forward when feel all but losing so much?

  • Creator
  • #52904
    Faye Zahara

    <p style=”text-align: center;”>I have 0 real life friends now since lost only friend to suicide. Having trouble making new friends as adult.</p>
    I have no family that doesn’t create harm in this world.

    I have ptsd over child abuse and child labor had to deal with everyday when young. Still gives me nightmares every once in a while causing me to fight in sleep.

    My swedish trans boyfriend has become super distant over last two years. So i feel super lonely with thoughts.

    My trans peer support group kicked me out of group cause i have different thoughts. I don’t feel ignorant but felt treated like i was for having own thoughts on issue.

    I lived the start of this year with fucked up roomates that wanted to torture me with mean words and not pay there side of bills.

    I hate my mother cause she sent a prostitute to bully my baby sister with words like fat ect. The stuff she told my mom  that her bullies at school would say to her. The same stuff that made her want to kill herself.

    Im happy to be living life as girl always wanted to be when 7 years old. This and my cats always brings me joy. Playing games and doing projects  also enjoy. Also have a clear focus on dreams and feels good.

    But i feel i lost more than gained in life and get scared being alone in this world. Just wish i could have a friend in real life that didn’t need to annoy with my bs pain. Just want to be close to another person in some manner.

    My question is how does one move forward when all during transition felt lost everything in pursuit of own happiness. How do you look at own happiness important over others?

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  • Author
    • #52919
      CC Webb
      Managing Ambassador


      Letting go of the things that cause pain or don’t build you up is necessary for ones own well being.  For many, this can be quite difficult and may need the help of a therapist which is recommended for transition.  Your friends may be helpful for small matters and to build you up, but they can become overwhelmed themselves with the heavy stuff.  Peer support groups can be a help with some being led by trained counselors.  It is unfortunate that you’ve found yourself on the outs with the one you were with.  Being a virtual support group we are even more limited than they would have been so I hope you can either repair that relationship or find a new one.  Just by searching for “transgender support Calgary”, it does look like there are resources for you in Calgary and Alberta.  In the end some of your issues listed are outside the scope of transgender care and really should be addressed with a professional counselor.  If you need help finding one I can help look, just send me a Private Message.

      Ambassador Cloe

      1 user thanked author for this post.
    • #52916
      Lucinda Hawkins


      hello Faya  its nice to meet you and good question to ask!   i would have to say one day at a time and take it slow.   for me i took it slow and easy. my wife knows and i think my daughter knows but she is in Maine now, my niece might now also for i had her do my make up for Halloween one year. my wife tells me when i can dress up for we have a 22 year old still at home. i do not go out dressed up for just to scared to, people now days don;t under stand the x dressing world.  woman x dress all the time and nothing is said, gee why is that? so why can;t we dress up and show our fem side?               sorry to hear about your past relationship with people. and room mates that don;t care and do what they did to you.   when i dress up i feel like a total different person and free and happy. less depressed and no panic attacks.  wish i could have some friends to share my x dressing with and just sit and talk like 2 woman and feel feminine sand show my female side of me.  i a have my own collection of female attire and wife knows of it, she got tired of me wearing hers. so i by my own now, plus i did take over some of her dresses and skirts for she don;t wear them any more, she don;t even wear sexy female clothing  so i will.  well hope this will help and did answer your question. have a great day

      1 user thanked author for this post.
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