How to tell the kids?

[Katie Mason]

Hi, non binary, happiest when female. Divorced, having a battle to get more contact with young kids, 6& 9 years. How do I tell them as this is going to be used against me in court.

 

[Stephanie Mac]

I am not 100% sure how to tell the kids, I haven’t even told my wife yet that I am questioning and need therapy.

However, there should be enough published literature to support the fact that this isn’t a choice, but rather you taking steps to be a better parent for them.  That to me means more than putting up an improper front.  I can’t see why a Trans parent would love and support their child any less than a CIS parent.  The two are mutually exclusive.

I know I feel that way in relation to my kids, I love them and want to be the best parent I can be, whatever that may be.

Stephanie

[Krystal Garven]

Hi Stephanie , it’s interesting for myself I never considered myself crazy for a very natural in my soul feeling being female – I never dated or got married but I guess many that are Transgender do the social thing to feel they’ve done there duty socially through marriage and making bambino’s and of course later this natural in your soul feeling which I believe is hard wired in a person during and in  your own brain as a fetus before being born – it’s a permanent and a  natural mind set that is  far from being crazy –  people that are considered normy’s and are happy with there birth gender are very fortunate – I’m an old 63 year old hard ass transgender female and wish I could have grown up the way I felt – I got ripped off and can’t go back and be reborn female so that’s my life – I can see that a wife would be in major shock and not understand the dynamics of why your internal real you is coming out after doing the baby thing – for her she’s loosing her man and stability – you are who you are – I live in Canada it’s not too bad here across the country being transgender but I know in the US some States can make it hard as hell to keep connection with your own kids – kids are usually open minded and have great acceptance if there not coached – myself being M to F I never felt crazy in anyway – if you show in court that you are stable mentally and happy gender wise a judge will know – go to a psychologist , stay cool about the issue and get a letter showing the way you identify as a person gender wise – many gay and lesbians couple’s have children and there happy as punch  and the kids are also happy because of a loving stable family unit that comes from the parents they live in despite not being  the standard norm socially acceptable .

• This reply was modified 2 years ago by Krystal Garven.

[Katie Mason]

[postquote quote=102380]
Totally agree, but as the previous persons message, the ex is in shock and it was 2 years ago we divorced over it. Limited contact and she is going to say the risk of the same shock to the children. I do wish I’d told her before marriage but I didnt’, wasn’t in that place, as Krystal says I probably thought I would be able to live a normal life and be “cured” if I did the normal things. I soon found I didn’t want curing, and couldn’t stop the dressing etc so obviously it all went sour. So how when do I tell thi kids? Will it cause them harm? There is actually very little literature that can be used on this subject and things very bitter between us so not sure that she would support my findings anyway. In truth, something I’ve never said before but struck me whilst writing this it was only MY prejudices that made me keep it hidden. Now it’s in the public arena, I feel I need to tell kids before someone else mentions it.

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