I don’t know what the heck is going on


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    • #135900
      H B

      I’ve always related well to my identity as a man (AMAB) so why the heck is that changing now (aged 22, been getting strong levels of depression over the non-feminine parts of my body for maybe a year and a half) like is that normal? I always hear trans people know it or have a sense of it from a young age but this is honestly a new sensation to me. Am I trans? Am I just going through something temporary? Is it okay if it’s so on and off yet extremely strong? I’m not comfortable or familiar with any of this and I can’t keep it to myself but I don’t really have anyone I can talk to. It hits so hard and I can’t sleep I just stay up researching ways I can alter my body temporarily and like travel interstate and spend a week as a different person so I can come back and resume my life. It’s insane! If anyone has literally any advice at all that’d be so helpful

    • #135906

      We all feel confused in thr beginning as go diffent paths as we seek to br women ( some like snales others greyhounds – no set time or pathway )


      Lots of sweet ladies on her to help you and some are even psychologists if you want to get some clarity. Let me know how you do dear!


      Stephanie Lindsay


    • #135912

      Hello, HB. Hope you are having a good day/evening/night.

      I realized i was a trans person when i was 17, i got it right one week after i talked to a trans woman irl. I did not had a long time of questioning myself, i did not had suspicious about my gender when i was a child, one day i just talked to the right person and a lot of stuff made sense to me.

      This narrative that trans people can only be trans if they start with disphoria very early, reject their dresses/masculine toys when childs, etc… is total bullshit! In my country, there is a famous trans woman that only realized what she is at +80 years old! There is no age to understand yourself (in reality, you are very very young).

      Now, if you are really trans, that is something that will take time.

      You need to keep learning about who you are, take your time, you have your entire life to decide. If you have any friends u can talk about that, go for it, if not, u can try at this site (there is a chat function here that is great), try a psycologist (search until you found one that respects you, please), try fem clothes, try using a fem name online, etc. Of course, only try if this stuff makes you feel comfortable, im only making suggestions!

      Hope everything turns out good.

      P.S: You talked about altering your body, be very careful, taking bad medicine will only harm you in the long run and not make good effects.

      P.S 2: You may want to talk with someone about this stuff you are feeling. If you want to chat with me, since im trans and im from a very similar age, i will be glad to help.


    • #135926

      I didn’t begin realizing this till I was 50! It just kinda crept up on me slowly. I didn’t wake up knowing it at age 3 or 6 or 9. Be kind to yourself, take your time. See a gender therapist.

    • #135950
      Dana Munson

      I knew I had a strong attraction to feminine things at a fairly early age. I can recall praying many a night – an activity I have long since abandoned – to wake up as a girl. I had no idea then – talking early 1960s – that there was such a thing as medically-supervised transitioning into a different gender. Did not understand until years later, when I first learned about Christine Jorgensen and April Ashley, that living as a woman was even with the realm of possibility (barring a feat of magic or living 24/7 in a disguise).  That said, I was definitely NOT effeminate and played the male role as was expected of me.

      Teen time was a bit tough and confusing. It felt weird to realize that, when admiring a pretty girl, I not only wanted her romantically. . . but I also wanted to BE her (or like her). But, because it seemed to me that a permanently feminine state was almost certainly impossible, I reacted with denial. (Remember, even in the late 1960s-early 1970s, medical science and the country generally, with some exceptions, were still looking at transgenderism as a true abnormality, something freaky, and “treatment” could easily amount to long sessions on a psychiatrist’s couch, rather than any help in achieving a transition.)  So, up through high school and beyond, I tried to be a “guy” to the max (I have a football letter, an “honorable”Army discharge, and a wife and 2 grown kids to prove it).  Yeah, I told myself “I can’t BE her, so I don’t WANT her!” Problem solved! Or so I thought.

      But “she” still kept popping back into my head every so often, stinging me with the old urge to be “her” and not the person I outwardly was. Cross-dressing helped, for a while. But ultimately that was causing even more longing for actual womanhood. Long story short, it took me until age 69 (!!!!) to achieve a life situation permitting me to come out and be Dana full time. Sure, I could have tried it a couple of decades earlier, but I judged the risk to career and family more than I wanted to gamble with. There are plenty of other ladies here who can tell somewhat similar tales.

      I need not repeat the good advice already given here by others, beyond repeating that a good therapist – one experienced in dealing with gender issues! – can be a great help in figuring out who and what you are.  You’re  young (oh, to be 22 again), and you have time to work this out.  Be safe. Be smart. And above all, be honest with yourself.

    • #135958
      Lauren Mugnaia

      Much of what Dana says is an exact echo or carbon copy of my experience except I was always quite feminine which got me into a lot of trouble in school. I was a favorite target for all the ‘jocks’, and almost all of my friends were girls. I used to pray the same prayer and knew I was supposed to be a girl. The reality is that we are born transgender, and some of us come to that feeling, understanding or knowledge at an early age while others don’t come to an understanding until their later years. You’re not weird or abnormal or mentally ill, you are transgender. It won’t go away, you can try to ignore it, deny it, but it is as much a part of you as your arms and legs. Please feel free to reach out to us, we are here to help you in any way we can. We’ve all been down this path and have each come to our own understanding of who we are and always have been.


      Ms. Lauren M

    • #135965
      DeeAnn Hopings

      H B:

      You found us! I hope that being here will be helpful for your journey.

      Regarding LGBT folks, there are no absolutes. Some folks do feel that there is something different compared to their peers, but that is not true for everyone. Our minds work to keep us out of trouble and lower stress levels. That’s why it is often difficult for us to think about things in our lives that have the potential for MAJOR upheavals. Also, denial can work at the subconscious level and we may not even know that this is happening.

      As pure speculation, something may have happened in recent times that caused you to think a bit differently about your life to this point and what may be possible going forward. Many here have worked with a therapist and found the experience to be quite useful. However, it is important to find a therapist with experience in gender issues. Not everyone has that experience or interest. While there are some therapists among us, it would be very difficult for them comment of your situation and what needs to happen without seeing you. Further, while there are some similarities in our situations, there are MANY variables such that out stories always have some differences from my observation.

      So, I have some suggestions for you:

      You can search the member database for others who may be close by. Click on Social in the menu and then Member Directory.

      Searching under Places will help to locate any transgender resources in your area.

      I encourage you to complete your Profile page as it helps other members to understand you, and your situation better. Your page will always be readily available and can be updated at any time if something changes.

    • #136365

      Hello HB,

      Welcome to our TransGender Heaven (TGH) site: A Wonderful, Accepting, Loving, Helpful Community where you can be safe and be yourself.
      The Warmth, Compassion and Hospitality of our community members can be found throughout the site.
      You can read about the knowledge and experiances of others on a similar path by reading articles and in the forums and chatting in chat rooms.
      My hope is that you will become comfortable here and make many new friends.

      Glad you are here,
      Terri Anne, Ambassador

      ======= Here is a link to the MtoF Chat room: ========

      ====== TGH How-to Navigation ==================

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