I May Never Come "Out"

This topic contains 11 replies, has 6 voices, and was last updated by  Seniko Usenia 6 months ago.

  • Creator
  • #31761

    Stephanie Jones

    I am seriously considering cosmetic surgery, after a period of becoming a gym rat. A few nice touches to accentuate what I have.


    I am out to one sister and 2 friends at this point, but it is still important to me to be comfortable as my guy self.


    Does anyone else feel that way, and where does that land me on the spectrum. Just trying to find my compass.




    3 users thanked author for this post.
  • Author
  • #32176
     Chris Landwer 


    I also understand. I think it’s a major step to be out there and vulnerable but if you do what is comfortable and take baby steps ( there is no hurry) you may gain some confidence. I an a little fem inside and want to experiment dressing. I cannot tell anyone accept those that are here. I think you should do what makes you feel good.

    • #32180
       Seniko Usenia 


      ~Yeah, It Seems That You’re

      Already A Few Steps Ahead

      Of Me… Hm,Hm,Hmph!  : )


      ~Oh` Would You Look At This,

      I Never Really Looked At The

      Texting Box For The List Of

      Different Changes Can Make-

      ~Alrighty, Enough Of That__…=

      ~Thank You For Responding,

      All Of The Information Helps To

      Eliminate All Of The Isolation…!

      : |)


  • #32168
     Stephanie Jones 


    I agree Seniko…. I am confidant that my important relationships would survive, but…

    • #32169
       Seniko Usenia 


      ~Yeah, And As You Know,

      Everybody Is In A Different


      ~I Really Don’t Wanna Wait

      Until Everyone Has Passed

      On Before I Could Actually

      Fulfill Any Considerations,

      I’m Thinking, Should I Run-

      Away/Re-Locate, It’s Not Fair

      And I Know That It Is Said:

      Nobody Ever Said That Life

      Was Going To Be Fair…

      ~I Been Consumed With The

      Thought Of It For Over 30yrs.

      And Have Always Suppressed

      The Way I Felt An Have Stayed

      Terminator On The Outside-

      (Thwarting All Suspicion)

      ~It’s Weird, I’ll Look Down

      At Myself And See One Thing

      And Then Look Up Into The

      Mirror And See Someone Else

      That Doesn’t Match And Wakes

      Up Reality As To Who I Am And

      How The World Sees Me, Like

      The Difference Is So Much That

      If I Told Somebody, They Would

      Actually Think That I Was Lying

      And Messing With Them…

      You Gotta Love That Bruce Willis

      Movie, The People Could Experience

      Their Life Through A SURROGATE!

      2 users thanked author for this post.
      • #32175
         STEVEN DEW 


        I know how you feel. Im that way.the life i live is totally not the way i feel inside. Every one knows me as a very manly man i drive a tractor trailer truck for a living and bild cars for people on the side.but at night when im by my self the woman inside me comes out and i live it .my kids grandbabies and parents could never know the real me.ive thought about moving away so i could be more of whom i am .

        • #32179
           Seniko Usenia 



          ~200+ Years From Now-

          Surely It Will Be Different.

          ~I Went As Far As Gaining

          Weight To Hide 30 Years Ago,

          (And Now I’m Like, Aye, What

          Did I Do?) ~ Sometimes I Say:

          Why Couldn’t I Have Been Born

          That Way, Then Their Would Be

          No Issues Of Acceptance, (People

          Are So Critical And Aggressive!)

          ~That Was A Very Honest Thing

          To Say In Your Post, I Appreciate

          Your Position, And Your Commit-

          Ment, It Feels Good To Hear You…

          ~Thank You!  : )

  • #32156
     Seniko Usenia 


    ~I Don’t Think That It’s As Easy

    As Some People Are Saying That

    It Is, Some Are More Flamboyant

    Than Others, Which Leads Everyone

    On A Bit, And So It’s No Real Surprise

    When They Expose How They Had

    Always Felt Internally More Outwardly…

    ~Just Saying,

    `Cuz Personally

    I Envy Ones Who

    Don’t Answer To

    Others, And Can

    Just Be Themselves!

  • #31776
     Tami C 

    HI Stephanie,

    I can relate to the importance of remaining “comfortable as my guy self”. I am out to my older brother (I have three more younger plus a sister, Mom and Dad are passed) and a small handful of friends. Although for myself I have a slightly different perspective, it’s not so much important to me that I can still operate as a male as it is that I just am not ready for the world to know about Tami and THAT’S OKAY.  That rascal fear. Someday soon, my compass is pointing due Tami! 🙂

    Love to you


  • #31772
     Stephanie Jones 


    Thanks Xelyn

  • #31769
     Xelyn Craft 


    Sounds to me like you are genderfluid, able to move along the spectrum freely. I don’t think you have to come out as male or female, but it might be good to be honest with people and tell them that you are both or can be either depending on how you feel in a moment.

    1 user thanked author for this post.
  • #31762
     Stephanie Jones 


    The response has been 100% acceptance thus far, with some discomfort, but I have never dressed and just hung out with them.



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