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I am Isla, aged 61 and recently realised that I am not really the bloke I thought I was. Some 40 plus years ago I first heard of a “sex change” and I remember thinking at the time that that would be wonderful because I wouldn’t have to struggle to be manly enough. However I had a male body and got on with life, to the extent that I eventually found a girl friend, who is now my wife. Reproduction didn’t go as expected; I knew what to do, but could never get excited enough. Over a year of psychotherapy every week got me going to the extent that I now have an 18 year old son.
Some ten years or so ago I started wearing leggings, telling myself that men could wear leggings as well as women, then ladies shoes, and then nearly two years ago I bought a skirt, telling myself the same thing. What I hadn’t expected was the effect wearing a skirt would have on me; suddenly I felt better, far more effect than a different style of clothing ought to have. With working at home this year I have been wearing skirts most of the time this year, and whilst it has been wonderful it seems to have let the genie out of the lamp. I now realise what I hadn’t before, I think I am transgender
This is to the extent I now know I want to be a woman, BUT I don’t want to want to be woman if you get what I mean. I have realised that when I see an attractive lady/girl, my thought is not the normal manly response of wouldn’t it be great to be intimate with her, my feeling is that I want to be her.
I came out to my wife a few weeks ago, and that didn’t go well, though she is now being more supportive than she was. Understandably she wants a professional opinion about my state.
My employer’s health insurance has agreed to fund 3 sessions with a psychiatrist to try to sort out the anxiety I am suffering from as a result of this, but not the gender dysphoria as such. How it is possible to sort out one without the other I can’t imagine, but time will tell. So, I am looking for a UK based psychiatrist with a known interest in transgender cases like me. Does any one know one; it is easy for me to look up whether or not any suitable person is approved by the insurance.
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