I’m Jordan and I’m questioning.

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  • #101918
    Jordan Maday
    Participant

    Pretty Self explanatory, for years now I haven’t felt “correct” I thought There was something wrong with me and my parents instilled that fact. But now I don’t know what I am or how to find out what I am.

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    • #102143

      Hi Jordan,

      It is amazing how good the advice your receiving is, excellent advice.  Please do seek out a transgender psychologist specialist.  This will make a world of difference.  I now have my primary-care physician, a transgender individual that is a medical therapy coordinator,  a transgender aware psychologist, and a transgender Advocate.  A few charge for their services, but 2 are part of the local woman’s health program.  You will not know what support you have out there until you ask.

      I initially went to my primary care provider and just broke down crying as I told him I wanted to be a girl.  He took me seriously, something that didn’t happen 20 or 30 years ago.  He is actively involved in my care and is the center of my therapy program.  He referred me to the psychologist and the medical therapy coordinator.  These two people made all the difference in my coming to grips with me as a woman.

      The medical therapy coordinator works in the Woman’s Health Facility, and they have a dedicates Transgender Advocate that is now fighting for me to get Medicare and BCBS to cover my health care needs.

      But: you are in a much earlier stage then that.  Hopefully people you trust will help you walk through your life and help you see whom you were, whom you wanted to be, who you can be.  A amazing amount of self-reflection needs to occur before you can step into a “confident” position of what needs to be done.  I always wanted to be a girl; not once did I fantasize being a male.  I had to walk through my life year after year to fully realize that being a girl was the one thread of my life that was always there.

      Jordan; you are early in this thought process, so doing the needed thinking to end at a position of “I am sure!”.  Anything less and you will find yourself looking back; and as you know from the bible (OK, maybe not know) you will turn to salt.  I don’t actually think anyone turned to salt, but they did turn to a life of indecisiveness.

      First: start with your parents were wrong to imply there was something wrong with you.  Different then some other, yes…wrong…NO!  I can’t emphasize this enough…You are not a “wrong”.  You need to find out who you are, and “right” or “wrong” is not the answer.  So get past “wrong”.

      Second: Don’t be afraid to discover you are a girl, or you are a boy that lies girlie things, or you are many things across the range of possibilities.  Don’t step into this process to legitimize becoming a girl.  Try to find you; that person may be a girl.  No matter what the discovery, discovering is never over.

      Third: Find the courage to do these things honestly.  Take the tasks seriously.  As you feel comfortable share your journey with trusted friends.  You will receive a lot of feed back, but you have the last word.

      Forth:  Take responsibility for your actions, thoughts, deeds, and decisions.  The closest friend you have is the friend that is inside of you.  Talk to that person.  I did, and I cried a lot.  None of us can undo yesterday, but we can make today a day we can follow.

      Never stop questioning and allow conclusions to come to you.

      Love

      Lukcia

    • #102124
      DeeAnn Hopings
      AMBASSADOR

      Jordan:

      You found us! Very Good! I hope that being here with be a useful part of your journey.

      Many here have found that working with a therapist to be very helpful. It is a great way to understand yourself and get a clear picture of why you need to do what you need to do. However, it is very important to find someone with experience in gender issues. That makes a big difference as not every therapist has that experience and interest.

      Thanks for completing your Profile page. It helps other members understand your situation and you can update it at any time. It will always be available.

    • #102048
      Terri Anne
      AMBASSADOR

      Hi Jordan,
      Welcome to our wonderful, accepting, loving, helpful community where you can be safe and yourself.
      My hope is that you will become comfortable here and make many new friends.
      Feel free to ask questions and we certanly love to hear your experiances and life’s knowledge as well.
      Enjoy the knowledge and experiances of others on a similar path by reading articles and in the forums and chatting in chat rooms.
      Enjoy,
      Terri Anne

    • #101957

      Hi Jordan – I’ll say this much , the female gender is scientifically the default gender physically and mentally – unfortunately there are countries with ethnic social values that spiritually feel Men are the masters – In my case I’m female M to F – these countries are still circumcising natural CIS born girls so they will never have any sexual feeling like an enjoyable orgasm – I guess the point I’m making you already pretty much know your basic hard wiring that you got when gestated in your mothers womb , it’s quite normal like in my case I always felt female but was forced to live with everybody’s decision at birth that I was a boy – they all were wrong – be the way you really feel you are and if there’s no family acceptance ” then you make new ” as hard as it may be – XO – Krystal

      2 users thanked author for this post.
    • #101956
      Michelle Larsen
      AMBASSADOR

      Jordan, I encourage you to continue on with updating your profile to help us better get to know you. I do hope you are getting situated and seeing all there is here. Please let me know if you have any questions. Either I, or someone else, will make sure we reply back. I do so hope you will join us in the Chatroom. I enjoy chatting there a lot. If you look in Social -> Member Directory, you can search for other people that may be near by. Or under Places -> Local Places, you can search for all sorts of things that may be near you. Hope to see you chatting soon. Oh, and don’t forget about digging through the Articles and Forums. Loads of information there. Hugs, Michelle

      1 user thanked author for this post.
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