Introducing Charrie

[Anonymous]

Hello all. My name is Charlene, but Charrie for short is wonderful.

I am an early 60s male who for my lifetime has lived with, fought against, cried over, been frustrated with, etc, etc, etc that as a woman I must present as a male.

At some point in my life I would simply like to enjoy life as a woman; relate to others and be related to by others as a woman. But alas I don’t really see that as a reality as it would negatively impact (or so I believe) the lives of so many I love.

So I guess you could say I am a non-transitioning trans woman, at least for the time being.

Numbers of people in my life know of my dysphoria, but none truly understand just how deeply it is felt. Can anyone truly understand?

Yes, I believe so, thus I have joined TDH. I am hoping here I can (at least virtually) truly be me and know that I an understood.

Thank you all for your support.

Charrie

[𝓜𝒾𝓈𝓈 𝓒𝓁ℴℯ́ 💋💋]

Charrie,

I see that you are questioning things and know I went through a heavy phase of that.  I wish nothing bu the best for you and your loved ones.  If you are satisfied with your life as it is now then I am happy for you and offer nothing but my love and support for you.  If you’re ready for a thought experiment I can certainly share some of the questions and topics I mulled over in my pivotal phase.

Hugs, Cloe – transitioned to full time at age 52

[Anonymous]

Hi Cloe,

Thank you for your thoughts and concerns. How satisfying it is to interact with supporters.

At this point I have more or less resigned to life where I am at. Not that I like it, but for so many reason I simply ask, “what else can I do?” I just don’t see how any amount of active coming out can be done without bringing hurt to so many I love.

I have occasionally thought that perhaps I am seeing this through the wrong lense. What if my decision to transition gave to them an opportunity to grow personally that they would never have otherwise. Is my fear and excuses contributing their own lack of personal growth?

I deeply long to be able to be received in this world as a woman. “Thought experiment” – my interest is piqued.

Am I ready?  Timidly I whisper, “yes.”

[Author]

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