Is a Crossdresser really Transgender?

Is a Crossdresser really Transgender?

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  • Yes
  • No
  • Yes and No..Answer in comments.

This topic contains 63 replies, has 42 voices, and was last updated by  Frances Frondorf 4 days, 21 hours ago.

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  • #32908
     Frances Frondorf 
    Participant

    FREE

    It can be the 1st indication. It can also be sexual. It can be an outlet, to relieve stress from the work day, or life, in general. It can be a life style someone else forced upon you, before you were on your own.’

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  • #32821
     Kirsten C 
    Participant

    FREE

    This seems pretty simple. In your op it says mtf crossdresser who is happy to be male and isn’t transitioning. That’s more fetish than trans. So no. Transgender doesn’t mean you have to transition  and sure crossdressers can be transgender, but in this example it seems to me the mtf in question simply dresses for external pleasure  not mental relief.

    I started out my journey 3+ decades ago crossdressing. I thought I was a crossdresser because I didn’t know what trans was. But from a very young age I wanted to transition. So in actuality I was never a crossdresser. I have always been a trans woman. Just didn’t know. I dressed to feel whole. To feel normal. To feel like myself. And eventually that wore off. Because no matter how well you can dress yourself up, that’s not what makes you… well you.

    As I always say transition has nothing to do with becoming the opposite physical sex. It only has to do with finding yourself, and becoming someone that you are proud of. Because that’s really all that matters isn’t it?!  Labels are nothing but words put together by some person who may or may not have known anything about anything. Labels are meant to keep things separated. And that’s not any good imho.

    There were some very interesting responses here. Some are more broad spectrum vs this individual case, but very interesting to read. And if you’re wondering what my “label” is I guess I am a polyamorous pansexual Demi girl but if I told 99% of the people in this world that was the case, they’d just look at me like I was talking in Sanskrit or something. Lol. So I’m simply trans. And that’s fine. Or even better, I am me. Love it or leave it. ❤️

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  • #32818
     Jeralyn Smith 
    Participant

    FREE

    You all can take all the Labels and stick them up someone’s ASS. Lables can be very hurtful and the bottom line is, You are what you want to be when you want to be that.

    So Stuff It

    Vicki E.

    Are you replying to me because that’s pretty much what I said.

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  • #32569
     Danielle Nus 
    Participant

    FREE

    Hello again.

    Another poll this time gauging where people may sit within our spectrum.

    I suppose for this poll I’ll have to set a scenario.

    So a MtF Crossdresser who has no intention of transitioning, Lives happily as a male and dresses for pleasure ect.

    Please feel free to comment and discuss.

    Hugs Cami xx

    In my opinion they are not trans,reason being they are satisfied for who they are , unlike a trans we feel missed placed in our own bodies and looking for a way to change our bodies to have a peace of mind that we match of who we are

    Danielle

  • #32551
     Milena Digard 
    Participant

    I would say that they are Transgender.  They may never have SRS done but on a certain level on the spectrum a Crossdresser is Transgendered while being “crossed-dressed.  Not a big deal.

  • #32525
     Jeralyn Smith 
    Participant

    FREE

    I would say yes and I would caution against the just of labels which can cause a lot of damage. I’m thinking that there are also cross dressers who simply haven’t transitioned yet for various reasons. There may be some who never do but we don’t know the reasons (which would vary from person to person) for them either. I began transitioning when I lived on the Russian River (not too far from San Francisco) after years of denial.

    Unfortunately, I couldn’t afford to live there any longer and had to move. I ended up moving to a place in Washington State which is no where near as…”progressive” (not really sure what the right word to use here is) as the place I previously lived. Not long after moving, I was the victim of a traumatic event because I’m a trans female. It’s taken me years to get back to the place I was at with my transitioning as I was when I moved.

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    • #32557
       Victoria Egger 
      Participant

      SILVER

      You all can take all the Labels and stick them up someone’s ASS. Lables can be very hurtful and the bottom line is, You are what you want to be when you want to be that.

      So Stuff It
      Vicki E.

  • #32446
     Dasia Anderl 
    Participant

    SILVER

    The Transgender Community’s terms, or labels, are a living language. They’re constantly changing. Currently the umbrella term covers trans, non-binary, gender non-conforming, drag performers, and many others greatly depending on one’s culture. As a trans woman I feel being called anything other than trans is insulting, a slur, and not nice. Of course, I’m just fine being called a woman without the adjective(s). In fact, that’s what I call myself on the street and that’s what my ID’s say, too. I’m following how other women, mostly ciswomen, present themselves. I’ve only heard one ciswoman locally declare that she is a ciswoman. I declare the trans part mostly in the written word so that my readers can know what they can’t see or to weigh in on a transgender issue. I do think transgender is better than  transsexual, but truth be told, I don’t appreciate the term for me being also the umbrella term. It confuses a lot of people! Check out this local glossary of terms made by the youth of our community here in Minnesnowta: https://www.reclaim.care/who-we-are/queer-and-trans-101.html or just google for: Reclaim Trans 101 if the link doesn’t work. It’s way comprehensive and worth a read.

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    • #32545
       Kelli Blue 
      Participant

      FREE

      Cis male crossdressers are gender non-conforming, that’s their label. They are not trans anything they’re cis.

      About 10% of non-binaries are trans, that’s what the white stripe on our trans flag is for. The overwhelming majority are cis.

      Transsexuals, as much as some people take issue with that word, are people who have medically and/or legally changed their sex. It’s says “sex: m/f” on everyone’s birth certificate, state issued ID card, medical records, etc. It DOES NOT say “gender: m/f”. Transsexual is the medical and legal term for someone who has changed their sex. Get over it.

       

      Transgender has been accepted as a catch all term for gender non-conforming, non-binary, and other gender variants, as well as transsexuals for so long that there’s probably no chance of limiting the definition at this point.

       

      I was born gender:f, but I was assigned sex:m at birth. I’ve changed my sex not my gender, and I identify as Transsexual.

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    • #32485
       Cloe (CC) Webb 
      Managing Ambassador

      MANAGING AMBASSADOR

      Dasia, I have trouble with the adjectives and prefixes myself.  So much so I did my own thought experiment and came up with convergent woman.  I have no problem being outted and even do it myself sometimes.  My history is my history and that comes with facts I can never change.  So I don’t obsess over it and move on.  I understand this comes with passibility bias, but that is a truth I live with too.

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      • #32489
         Dasia Anderl 
        Participant

        SILVER

        Cloe,

        Thanks for the reply.  I think it’s important to one’s worldview to have a researched and well intended opinion on matters of public opinion. In the end it seems most of us follow what terms the academics come up with. I’m elated to see that you have your own way. I’m a free thinker as well. I’m doing my best to support, protest for, and perhaps soon even help draft better public policy for us. While I don’t think American State and Federal Law are the only important cultural platforms, I see it as my civic duty to at least support my own interests within it. It’s more about self preservation than obsession. I wish I had a vote within our community what term was used, however, we are not a nation nor democratic. Near as I can tell we’re a medical research series that hasn’t enough funding to be well researched.

  • #31666
     Erica Mitchell 
    Participant

    FREE

    I answered yes and no because I believe that there is a broad spectrum of men who cross dress. I began cross dressing, like many boys, around age 9. I had my first orgasm while masturbating while dressed, thus associating it with sexual arousal from then on. That’s not to say I could only be aroused by cross dressing, but it remained a big–and very secret and shameful–part of my life all through adolescence and adulthood. In my case I didn’t always think about wanting to be a woman, I just knew that looking and feeling as feminine as I could gave me a great feeling on an emotional as well as sexual level.

    I believe many men experience it on this level. Based on my own experience, I really feel for those who dream of coming out of the closet but feel it’s impossible. I told myself it was impossible for most of my life, since I’m way too big to pass, but finally reached the point where I just had to do it, and damn the consequences. I’ve never been happier, having begun HRT and physical transition about 18 months ago. But the question remains: was I transgender when I only did it in secret, sometimes rarely? I don’t know. Did I only become truly transgender when I started HRT, or only when I began living as female full time, including legal name and gender change? Again, I don’t know the answer. All I know is it makes me incredibly sad thinking about all the other men and boys out there who have these desires but can’t accept themselves, and torture themselves because of them.

    • #32027
       Amelia 
      Participant

      SILVER

      I remember sitting at my mothers dressing table trying on her stockings when I was about 4 years old and continued to cross dress whenever I could throughout my life. I always wanted to be a girl but not to the point of dysphoria. After recently “Coming out” I realised I had been decieving myself and the need to become a woman has now dominated my thoughts constantly.

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  • #31650
     Patricia Allen 
    Participant

    FREE

    The real question we are asking here is: How gender non-conforming to you have to be to be transgender?

    In answer to that I think we need to define just what is gender, and how does it become trans.  I’ve been involved in discussion board for a long time.  Decades ago, there were newsgroups.  Some of you may be old enough to remember them.  The one I participated in was alt.support.crossdressing.  Many of the notable members of our community participated.  The idea (to which I subscribe) was floated that gender was a spectrum; with Masculine on one end and Feminine on the other.  Society mistakenly seems to think that sex and gender are synonymous.  But as stated in alt.support.crossdressing; sex is what’s between your legs and gender is what’s between your ears.  Sex is pretty much either or, whereas, gender is varying shades, siding from one end of the spectrum to the other.

    In truth, no one is actually at either extreme end of the gender spectrum.   Carl Jung (google him) stated that there is something masculine about every woman and something feminine about every man.

    So what we are discussing here is just how far away from the end does one have to be to be transgender.  The next question that has to be considered is:  Is that a fixed point or can a person progress, or even regress?   These two questions are the heart of transgender.

    From my personal observation (echoed by many I’ve talked to) is that gender is not a static condition for those of us in the trans community.   Most of us, when we discover the first indication of our trans nature have reactions that reflect the societal view around us.  That is; we reject the idea as being something to be avoided.  Many years of denial ensue.  We convince ourselves that, in the case of MTF, we are really men and this aberration present in our gender is transient… that it’s just some phase or curiosity on our part.  Certainly not something to embrace.

    After some time, we come to acknowledge that we have to deal with it in some way or another.   Often we search for a label to explain just who, or what we are.  The first and most common label is transvestite, oops that’s a pejorative, offensive term, more politically correct, cross-dresser.  It’s safe.  We simply cross-dress, but we’re still men… ok, so we appreciate women’s fashion to the point that we like to wear them…. BUT WE’RE STILL MEN.

    I personally spent decades telling myself that lie and believing it.  But as we get older, we come slowly to realize, not only will our desire to wear the clothes go away, but the need, because that’s what it really is, becomes more urgent and frequent.  The dissatisfaction with our body begins to rear its ugly head.  We then are force to reevaluate our gender.  Are we indeed, just a cross-dresser, or is there something more going on.

    In my personal experience, cross-dressing has gone on for over six decades in the beginning; it was a diversion; then a compulsion, and finally a way of life.  About twenty years ago, I began to desire physical changes and sought excuses as to why that wasn’t in the cards.  About five years ago, I admitted to myself that I really wanted physical validation of what was going on inside.  About two years ago, I got the opportunity to do something about it and started on HRT.

    Since I crossed that threshold, I think no one would deny me inclusion in the transgender category.   The question posed here then prior to that time when expressing my feminine nature by cross-dressing was enough, was I or was I not transgender?

    My answer is I was always transgender only I didn’t always admit it even to myself. 

    • #32426
       Tommie Wasserberg 
      Participant

      FREE

      I also voted yes and no. Typical drag queen and fetishists don’t consider themselves to be trans .  For them it’s a game, but what about the people we call closet queens or weekend warriors, many of whom suffer raging gender dysphoria and for various reasons can only express in female mode in private?  I feel that bullying closeted trans people  is bad for the community as a whole.

      I’ll be giving a talk on Relational Bullying in the Transgender Community on my You Tube channel starting in about 90 minutes.  https://youtu.be/PqhbG72LGLs

      I’ll be reading this blog by a trans man bullied by Truscums. I’m currently being bullied by Truscums and you’ll no doubt see them trolling me if you watch.  https://letsqueerthingsup.com/2015/12/12/why-arent-more-trans-people-denouncing-truscum/comment-page-1/#comment-15536

      Transgender is an umbrella term and there are no rules on being transgender anywhere I know of.  The mantra passed to me is that we’re all uniquely crafted and all make our own decisions how to express ourselves. Nobody’s transition or lack of one invalidates anybody else’s gender expression. We need to celebrate diversity and support each other always.

      Sex and gender are not hard wired to each and there is  enormous variation, both physically and emotionally, not simply one or the other. As you say, gender has been clearly demonstrated to express on a spectrum and a significant portion of the population is born better suited, both physically and emotionally for the transgender role.  At least two per cent are born intersexed to some degree and at least half of them suffer GD to such a degree that medical intervention is necessary (My personal conclusion: All transgender people are intersexed but not nearly all intersexed people are transgender).

      I was subjected to genital surgery as a toddler, leaving me with pretty standard issue male junk that my brain, looking for a vagina there, couldn’t see properly.  I don’t know about anybody else, but the sensory input from that junk into a brain thinking it’s connected to a vagina is maddening.  it still is after 4 years of HRT.  My shrink is fascinated by my back story.  She’s young and it’s everything her text book told her to expect.

      Having online community has meant the world to me to have other transgender people to share experiences and ideas with .  The cis world has been kind to me since coming out but there are just some things they’ll never understand about being transgender until they experience it themselves.

       

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  • #31646
     Stephanie Jones 
    Participant

    FREE

    The Rules of Transition. At what point does a duck become a swan? The only person who can tell you how you feel about it is you.

     

    I would say that two-spirited simply means you have a strong, perhaps even dominantly feminine side, or aspect to your makeup. How you express it or it expresses itself within you depends on your personal needs and comfort level.

     

    Cheers luv,

    Stephanie xo

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  • #31454
     Cloe (CC) Webb 
    Managing Ambassador

    MANAGING AMBASSADOR

    … What label am I?

    YOU

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    • #32028
       Amelia 
      Participant

      SILVER

      Don’t worry about “Labels” Jon and don’t let others use them to define you. I think crossdressing was an expression of my subconscious desire to be a woman,one that I could put back in a box (often after an orgasm) and resume my charade as a man a thereby keeping my male ego intact.

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    • #31458
       Chris Landwer 
      Participant

      FREE

      I like the question

  • #31446
     Tami C 
    Participant

    GOLD

    Hi everyone,

    My two cents, and I am fully aware that it’s just my two cents and that I could exchange my two Lincolns for two others at any time.

    My thoughts: First off: Labels can be sooooo incomplete in there definitions that it really is just a matter of opinion sometimes. Secondly: It is possible for a person to merely enjoy the physical sensation of wearing the attire of the opposite sex but have no interest in experiencing or expressing the “essence” of that gender. That interest in experiencing or expressing is really the crux of being transgender (again, just my opinion). Thirdly: I think Cloe’s “matrix or cloud” theory is spot on. There are so many degrees of desire and transition that for someone to place a label on you is totally irrelevant, choose your own label, it really DOESN’T matter!

    Love and respect to ALL, (except haters, lol)

    Tami

     

    • #31452
       Bobi Hegony 
      Participant

      FREE

      Beautifully said.

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  • #31441
     Cloe (CC) Webb 
    Managing Ambassador

    MANAGING AMBASSADOR

    … I am a bit confused on this.

    A lot of people are and it’s interpreted differently.  In the end you are you and you like whomever you like.  This is YOUR definition of YOU.  Don’t let the labels define you.
    Sometimes I think we are still too focused on what others think and are not settled within ourselves.  This was certainly my case and I still have to watch out for it.  I danced closely with a CD this past weekend and it caused my mind to race.  I know for a fact that I value relationships far more than sex, which seems to be the opposite of most people I run into.  After a weekend of introspection I came to realize I’m just not sure enough within myself to really be much of a partner and I certainly don’t want to start a relationship with someone who wouldn’t care to change with me as I change including possible changes in preferences.

    • #31451
       Bobi Hegony 
      Participant

      FREE

      Yes, labels need to be vanquished. I thought I had a dysphoria until I realised that it was society that needed to change, not me. I dress as I like and may be going through changes but I’m not ‘trans’

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    • #31442
       Jennifer Lovet 
      Participant

      FREE

      @Cloe, Thank you, you have to take into account I am from Southern California.  Most of us are confused here.  LOL

      • #32492
         Lisa Myers 
        Participant

        SILVER

        I loved the comment about Southern California (I used to live in Santa Monica years back) but my thought on this subject is that most crossdresser M2F are not going to transition..many identify with the female but in many instances it s more of a sexual fantasy than an actual reality of existence..for example look at the large amount of porn out there with crossdressers as part of a Mistress Slave relationship, which  results in the male being “humiliated” by dressing as a female, a scenario I find very repugnant..Ultimately humiliating the concept of femininity rather than the so called “slave”..So from that commonplace standpoint I would be inclined to say that (and I hate labels as much as the next person, that by and large it is a very big stretch to call a crossdresser  “transgender”..transgender in appearance temporarily but not actually transgender in actuality.

  • #31437
     Jennifer Lovet 
    Participant

    FREE

    Is a gay crossdresser transgender?   Being gay and wanting to be a women seems to fit the conservative definition of being transgender.  They want to be a woman and they like men.  But in reality I have learned although they like to dress as a women, the true inclination is to find a boy friend.  I known one such person.  However he has given up on crossdressing as the major motivation is to find a gay boyfriend.  I am further informed that most gay men aren’t into crossdressers as they like men.  I know from speaking with this person that he gave up crossdressing and now goes male in order to find a gay boyfriend.  On the other side you have the transgender that wants to live as a girl and in some cases transition to be one as much as they can with the belief they are a woman in a mans body.  As a true woman they are interested in men.  Some how I get lost in the translation.  Another question I have is can a transgender person also be a lesbian, wanting to transition to female  and wanting to  be with a female.  So here you have a person who wants to dress as a girl and be with a girl.  It seems the whole thing is more of a labeling problem which seems to key on whether the crossdresser wants to be a woman all of the time, then they are transgender or a gay guy who likes to dress as a woman all the time but will not to in order to find a gay mate.  I am a bit confused on this.

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

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    • #32437
       Victoria Egger 
      Participant

      SILVER

      I think we worry too much about what name we may fall under. The Bottom Line is, we are what we believe we are and how we go about it. And for what it is worth I believe I’m a woman with all my Heart and I believe I’m a Lesbian. That in itself is a long story to talk about down the road.
      Love You All,
      Vicki E.

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    • #31450
       Bobi Hegony 
      Participant

      FREE

      Read Dr Anne Lawrence’s book, a”men in men’s bodies” I think. It describes this well. She understands men who are heterosexual and want to be women as loving themselves as women. She calls it autogynophila, which is a pity as she sees these men as having a mental problem that can be cured. Otherwise I like her explanation s

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  • #31434
     Jon Chi 
    Participant

    FREE

    I do what I do to feel more feminine and it sets my mind at ease.  If not a single person in the world could see me, I could care less.  If everyone in the world could see me, I wouldn’t feel any different .  I don’t present or act, I just do, and I do it for myself.  What label am I?

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    • #31436
       Bobi Hegony 
      Participant

      FREE

      Yes. I agree. Labels should not important or relevant. Rather than adding more we should stop using gender terms at all.

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  • #31357
     Samantha G. 
    Ambassador

    AMBASSADOR

    Considering myself a crossdresser I feel like I’m “Transgender Light” to use  beer terminology. I think we all fall under the term Trans but someone who is taking HRT and having surgeries to transform their body into what they feel they should have been is clearly different from me. I also don’t think we should get hung up on the terminology and just accept each other no matter how far we go to express ourselves.

    Hugs…

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  • #31311
     Brenda Scott 
    Participant

    SILVER

    I have a male and a female spirit inside of me. This is a truism for all transgender people who are within the cross-dresser to transsexual spectrum. The thing to remember is that we are all on one spectrum and even the lowly cross-dresser who gets sexual endorphins from dressing in female clothing needs to be in his mind no lower in status than the all mighty gender passing transsexual. For the MTF’s of us we have to get over our penchant for boasting that mine in bigger than yours, ha, ha.

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  • #31303
     Jennifer Lovet 
    Participant

    FREE

    I would have to say yes, crossdressers  are transgender in the broad sense, even if they don’t live it.    Many do not want to transition to full en femme like others do.  I do love dressing up as a women, adore doing my makeup and stockings really make my legs look good.  Based on my research that would make me Gender dysphoric.  My Gender mind set is about 50/50 male and female.  So I have the need to dress and do like it.   Therefore although I don’t want to be only femme all the time, means I want to transfer between the two (i.e. Transgender).

    I would have to say no if transgender is taken narrowly, I do know there are lots of us who want to live it 24/7 and some want or have SRS.  They want to be a girl.  If you take the term transgender to me one who wants to be the other, then maybe across the board all cross dressers are not transgender.  So maybe it is both and maybe it is not.  For me I do consider myself a T girl and do like it.

     

    Love

    Jennifer

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  • #31301
     Christina Howell 
    Participant

    FREE

    I voted No, because to me Transgender is someone born one sex, but knows they are really the other sex. I live my life Full Time as a Woman. I want the same things that any other Woman wants. Yes Im Bi, but no matter which sex I am with, I will only want it to be as a Woman in the way I receive or give in the relationship. A crossdresser to me, is someone who enjoys acting & dressing like a woman or male, but still enjoys sex as male or as a female if the are female & dress as a male. Just my view, but I will always treat them with Respect and use the terms & pronouns of who they when showing the World who they are. He/Him or She/Her & if I know their name, I will use the one that represents who they are or the one they prefer me to call them.

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  • #31267
     Johna Melius 
    Participant

    FREE
    1. I answered yes, for the simple fact that if you crossdress then you at some point are genderfluid, making you Transgendered.  Which allows that flow from masculine and feminine to happen.
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  • #31173
     Codille Benton 
    Managing Ambassador

    MANAGING AMBASSADOR

    I said Yes,

    I guess to no surprise. I feel I am mentally 60% Male and 40% Female. I will NOT ever transition. That said, when I am en femme I certainly identify myself as female not a male in drag. on the flip side when I dress in a mens suit, tie, etc. I am most certainly identifying as male. Most of the time now for the last several years I have dressed however I felt that day which is certainly a large blend of both male and female traditional traits, but that is the key word “traditional”. The term two-spirit came into my world a little over a year ago, that may be the closest of all the million terms I can identify with these days. So as a CD that is a MTF Two-Spirit, I absolutely consider myself Transgender and am proud to be part of this community and in supporting all variations of Transgender individuals in the world (Physical and Mental).

    Codille Benton

    MA-E

  • #31043
     Gloria Upjohn 
    Participant

    SILVER

    Hello my very new Female name is Gloria🙎‍♀️ I do love saying my new name💝

    GloriaUpjohn Gloria GloriaUpjohn🎉🎉🎉

    Even when I was young I loved girls panties

    They felt great and I have worn them a lot

    for almost 30 years❤️

    I could think of them as feeling good

    HOWEVER now older and more honest

    with myself THEY ARE ALL ABOUT BEING

    SEXEY TO ATTRACT THE MAN I WANT

    TO MY OR HIS OR ANY BED💕

    It comes down to ATTRACTING MEN

    FOR ME 👨‍💼

    Going to start moving to more feminine

    close in public and see what happens

    maybe add a discreet bra under clothes

    stockings 💁‍♀️

    I have some long shirts that I where around

    the house FEELS LIKE A SHORT DRESS

    I LOVE IT

    THINKING I HATE PANTS 🎉🙆‍♀️

    Gloria

    the more they call me a girl the HAPPIER

    I GET 💕🙎‍♀️🙏

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    • #31259
       Sandra Nichols 
      Participant

      FREE

      I have been crossdressing all my life. My mother began crossdressing me as a baby then at puberty I began wearing my sisters clothes. Here I am age 54 and I consider myself a woman. I am not taking hormones or plan on surgery but the feeling of being a woman is so natural and comforting to me. Yes I was a m to f crossdresser but I am woman now. I unfortunately have to hide Sandra from my wife and coworkers but I wear panties and tights under my uniform . I feel i am now a f to m crossdresser and that you don’t have to have hormone therapy or surgery to feel and be the woman we were all meant to be

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  • #30820
     Annie Gallagher 
    Participant

    FREE

    The answer to this question is simple.

    Does the crossdresser identify with a gender that they weren’t assigned at birth? If yes then they are trans, if no than they are not.

    4 users thanked author for this post.
  • #30818
     Louise 
    Participant

    I answered no because I believe a crossdresser is satisfied with being a crossdresser  and they are happy with who they are and being transgendered is a desire for a physical change to be happy with who they are. I love to dress and I have a closet and a dresser full of clothes but I don’t consider it crossdressing. I was born a male decades ago and I have had to live the male image forever but mentally I am a woman and I always have been for as long as I can remember so my only crossdressing is when I have to put on my male clothes and I am not happy with that.

    1 user thanked author for this post.
  • #30080
     Suzy Smith 
    Participant

    FREE

    Hi. I answered yes and no. It could be a person cross dresses only because they can’t get hold of hormones. Or social and cultural pressure may prevent them. Or they are very masculine. Good question. Am i lesbian even though its impossible? 💋

    3 users thanked author for this post.
  • #30014
     Chris Landwer 
    Participant

    FREE

    I have found  cross dressing and being transgender can have many degrees within the categories. I know many men that just like to dress only to attract their partner with no other tendencies or desire to transition. I like a feminine person and I have some fem qualities but I don’t know if I have some degree of trans. I hope I do because it will help me understand myself better.

  • #29853
     Tami W 
    Participant

    SILVER

    Emphatically no they are not even close to the same thing. As part of the lesbian community, there are a lot of very butch women who shop the men’s department, but are not trans, and have no desire to change their bodies. The difference for men is the social acceptance of wearing cross gender clothing, if there was no stigma the difference would be simple to see. Essentially it comes down to the difference in gender expression versus being transgender and having the desire to truly change your body fundamentally in every way. A crossdresser is about what you do, and how you express yourself, being transgender is deeper and more fundamental about who you truly are. Just my humble opinion.

  • #29350
     Shanda Labonte 
    Participant

    SILVER

    At first glance a man that likes to wear women’s clothes but sees himself as a man makes for an easy no but people are moe complex than a specific label l or category. Especially when discussing sexuality.

    3 users thanked author for this post.
    • #29855
       Tami W 
      Participant

      SILVER

      sexuality has nothing to do with being transgender or crossdressing, it is a completely separate thing

      5 users thanked author for this post.
      • #30372
         Marcy Hose 
        Participant

        SILVER

        I believe this is correct because you make the change because you know who you are. You could be with women or men and not dress or transition.

        1 user thanked author for this post.
    • #29758
       Jasmin Sweet 
      Participant

      FREE

      I used to hide that i love being a lady n dressing in their clothes finally after 20years i told everyone i i am transitioning into a lady.n going try get tips on outfits n become more girls n how to keep a man

      2 users thanked author for this post.
  • #29328
     Trisha Kobichenko 
    Participant

    FREE

    I answered yes and no…

    I have never known exactly what my gender is. I think gender is something of a sliding scale for me. I envy those who can say with absolute certainty that they are male or female, in spite of, or because of, birth happenstance. While I was born male, I have felt more feminine than masculine for most of my life. There are aspects of maleness that I enjoy, mostly in athletics, and dress unisex when out, female whenever I am home. I just know that I am not really aware of my clothes when dressing as female, it is just how I dress, but am aware when I am dressed unisex that I am less comfortable than when I wear women’s clothes.
    My partner is totally comfortable with my gender expression, but has expressed that she would not be amenable to a sex change, and we have many decades invested in our relationship, so I respect her wishes.

    With regards to whether or not a Crossdresser is really Transgender, for me the title is irrelevant. I just play the game, others can keep score.

    5 users thanked author for this post.
  • #28820
     LeslieAnne 
    Participant

    FREE

    To say i’am a crossdresser and not Transgender is saying you can see my future . I crossdress all the time  and this may not be my true ending in my quest. If i can finance it i will go the total transgender route,but this may never happen.I have always considered myself to be transgeder mainly because -not of my sex but of my feeling inside me. I have declared myself female , this will never change M/F -never , believe me i have at some times in my life have tried.To me my gender has changed. Leslie

    • #28975
       Cami Jansen 
      Ambassador

      AMBASSADOR

      Nicely said Leslie.

      I love how you describe an internal transition.

      Thanks for Joining us in this poll.

      1 user thanked author for this post.
  • #28654
     Cloe (CC) Webb 
    Managing Ambassador

    MANAGING AMBASSADOR

    I answered yes.  To me (and this is yet another why our answers are all varied) being transgender is a state, not and action.  Being cis (cringe at that word) normative means everything about you is in alignment: physical, emotional, mental, presentational, spiritual, preferential, you name it.   Each one of these is its own dimension and there are more, which is why I call it the transgender matrix or cloud, not a spectrum.  Frankly, even cis normative fit in the matrix and then it’s just called the human experience.  But, since the world of cis people is where most of our detractors come from and the laws that allow for our repression, I can live with this segmentation.  In many places, just wearing the clothes normally associated with the opposite gender is forbidden.  Doing so certainly isn’t cis normative either.  So I say, welcome to the matrix that you were already in my CD friends.  Let’s work together to make our human experiences an accepted norm.

    For what it’s worth I don’t even like the prefix trans, but that’s a whole different topic.  I am after all a convergent woman in the gender matrix.

    • #28977
       Cami Jansen 
      Ambassador

      AMBASSADOR

      I so love your response Cloe.

      This topic has had an amazing and varied response from our family here.

      And all of it positive and compassionate, Something we should all be proud off.

      Thank you for your inspired insight and for taking part in this poll.

      Hugs xx

      3 users thanked author for this post.
  • #28593
     Anonymous

    Hello everyone^^

    I just joined and saw this poll:)  I picked Yes and No.. Not that I know something about this…  It just that… em… I’ve met CDs who just talk and act like a sexual fetish to certain female things… and CDs who talk more about want to be or being a Transgender… Granted, these experiences using these terms are decribed based on my own understanding of few definitions of CD and TG on the internet:)😜😜😜…. Also, Again, many of us believe that TGs are born which I am not even going to start.. hohohoho❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ Not sure that I am not making any sense… Have a wonderful holiday season❤️❤️❤️❤️

    3 users thanked author for this post.
    • #28979
       Cami Jansen 
      Ambassador

      AMBASSADOR

      Thanks for taking part Esther.

      It’s easy to see we are a many and varied spectrum, I’m sure you agree there’s no level you pass to be either labelled this or that.

      But you do make a few valid points, Welcome to the site btw

  • #28036
     Jasmine Gremory 
    Participant

    FREE

    I answered yes and no. Because a crossdresser is only female part time. Yes, when they are dressed, they are very much transformed into their desired gender and when not dressed, they are just who they have always been. Many people have misconceptions about crossdressers because their are so many of them who are more clothing article related rather than full on dressed mode. What I mean by that is, wearing pantyhose only, is not crossdressing. You may like to wear them and its ok, but it is more of a fetish or hobby. It may be just as uncontrollable as the feeling of being another person, but you are not fully that other person. You are just enjoying 1 article of another genders clothing and that does not make you a crossdresser. coincidently, that’s why I don’t hang out in CDH much anymore.

    5 users thanked author for this post.
    • #28981
       Cami Jansen 
      Ambassador

      AMBASSADOR

      Thanks for your response Jas.

      I can harmonize with your feelings easily, But freely admit I know nothing beyond my own journey as i’m not a Crossdresser..and never were.

      I created this poll to help further my understandings of the question.

      Thanks for taking part honey.

      Hugs xx

  • #27943
     Rebekka Moore 
    Participant

    FREE

    I think you are who you are, or who you want to be at the moment.  No need for categorizing,  or putting people into a particular “box”.  You can be whatever you want to be, act in whatever manor you want to act (so long as it does not put others at risk), and be conscious of your actions.

    Enjoy yourselves, whatever you maybe!

    R

    • #28983
       Cami Jansen 
      Ambassador

      AMBASSADOR

      Well said Rebekka.

      I Couldn’t of said it better myself.

      If more people thought this way…Imagine the world we could have.

      Thanks for taking part in this poll.

      1 user thanked author for this post.
  • #27853
     Carla Roberts 
    Participant

    FREE

    It is all a matter of perspective, and I believe we  are all on the Trans* spectrum, and just because we sit in a particular place in that spectrum today, tomorrow or next week it may be different. There was a time when what I was doing was cross dressing, but that was as much as I could do to satisfy my need to be myself, at that time. Was I fully my femme self? I was, only in as much that I was still feeling like a woman, acting like a woman, but it was not complete, because I was unable to present myself as a woman. In those times, it felt as if I was being held underwater, and not being able to breathe. The times when I could present as female, I felt full and complete, but from the casual external viewer’s perspective, I was probably just crossdressing. It’s like saying beauty only runs skin-deep. The beauty we see in ourselves, is not only skin-deep, but much deeper. I am not fond of labels, they impose unfair, and restrictive boundaries.

    5 users thanked author for this post.
  • #27846
     Dame Veronica Graunwolf 
    Participant

    Addendum…Real males parade around in ribald golf pants and shirts…looking the world like drag queens….so are they to be considered gay?  How about we all call ourselves…..”Eccentric Citizens”??

    Dame Veronica

    Dame Veronica Graunwolf

    4 users thanked author for this post.
  • #27845
     Dame Veronica Graunwolf 
    Participant

    Hi Cami….happy Holiday Season.  To me…..speaking in terms of dictionary/Medical Journals, a crossdresser is one who crossdresses in the opposite sexes fashion of clothing, except for certain countries like the Swiss Guard in the Vatican or Greek males in historical costume. Females can also be considered crossdressers. They all maintain their current physical sex organs.

    Having breasts is a mostly female characteristic, however, males do produce Estrogen but is overpowered by testostore until older age sets in and the reverse can occur as most older men do start to present breasts.

    Transgender is a person who is undergoing a physical change, from their born in to the other sex.

    I guess you could say that a person who is just starting the proceedure could be called pre-transgender and once finally finished called transgender. Now that they have successfully carried a baby to term in a womb transferred from a corpse that is thriving and an autopsy can determine whether a presenting dead female was a male before surguery….who knows what you realistically could name them.

    What is wrong with the world????? Too many terms and words to discribe things….babblebygook???? Confusions the troops hence all the misunderstandings.

    My head hurts and I going to go lay down now.  TTFN…..

    Hugs Dame Veronica

     

    Dame Veronica Graunwolf

    3 users thanked author for this post.
    • #30375
       Marcy Hose 
      Participant

      SILVER

      I understand. I know what it is to be a man and a male. I have proven that by the life I have lived. I know that I can never be a biological female, meaning I could never have children. I choose to present myself as a female which is a long road I am beginning. My wife told to me she stopped seeing me as a man a long time ago. We are best friends and is highly encouraging me to transition, even if I don’t have SRS. she knows who I really am and loves me no matter what. She recently admitted to me she rekindled a relationship with an old flame. We chatted all night like girlfriends about him. I was upset she wasn’t truthful with me , but I understood where she was coming from, he is all man which she loves. I can never be that and she and I know this. I was strangely comfortable with it, she and I knew my mentality has changed and there is no going back, even if I feel guilty for not being the person I think I should be for them, including our adult children. Although I think they already know by the way I carry myself and knowing that I have crossdressed. My dad will never understand but not disown me. All my wife’s sisters have seen me crossdressed to an extent. Its a little hard to hide when your wearing pink short shorts and pantyhose and your eye brows and make up are immaculate and very flattering and you don’t have a care in the world. My Mother always knew I was fem. She never put me in male dominated sports. It was always gymnastics and tennis. I finally came out to hee recently, she didn’t bat an eye. We finally had the mother/daughter talk we always wanted with each other but were afraid to have. I know I went off topic a little, but it has to do with a frame of mind and know who you are, regardless of what your sexuality is and what clothes you wear.

      3 users thanked author for this post.

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