Isn’t it ok to be the real me?

  • Creator
  • #95830
    Jade Hensley

    I feel like I HAVE to be Jade… Like… That’s what everyone thinks I SHOULD be…

    Isn’t the whole point of this to be who I think I really am?

    So what if that’s a guy? A skinny guy…? A skinny guy with a high voice and pretty eyes…

    That doesn’t make me a girl…

    I feel like I get so much support when “being my true self” means transitioning into a woman. But when it’s me staying a man… Or trying to make myself more masculine to fit how I feel inside… I get laughed at and ridiculed… Told I just need to transition because I’m not really a man…

    It seems so… Callous… So against the whole idea of this…

    Honestly… At times, this all just seems like a backlash against traditional norms… A striking at the status quo…

    A social movement.

    Not something geared toward helping men who are confused and scared. Just something geared toward quashing traditional masculinity.

    I feel like I’m cared about in the trans community community only as far as I’m willing to subvert masculinity. As soon as I go back to using my boy name, everyone treats me completely differently. I’m not treated with respect or love. I’m treated with immediate hostility or, at best, neglect.

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  • Author
    • #100827
      DeeAnn Hopings

      Like many things, there is a spectrum regarding gender identity and gender expression. Where you fall is where you fall. That is driven solely by what you think and what makes sense to you. The expectations of others are irrelevant. If you hear different on this site, please let me know and it will get it straightened out.

      Granted, the Real World exists outside of these walls. However, it is always true that when we try to fit into space that we have not defined, rarely is there a good outcome. It isn’t about fitting into someone else’s vision of what we should be. It is about fitting into, and living in, our own vision of ourselves. Many here have talked about their confusion around gender identity. I suspect there are 2 reasons:

      1. We’ve never been down this path before, so how would we not be confused?
      2. Society puts out a lot of erroneous information upon which most of our conditioning is built.

      Those 2 things will leave us chasing our tails and not knowing which end is up. However, please remember that no one has the right to dictate what your gender identity and gender expression should be.

    • #95837
      Michelle Lawson

      Jade/Matt, (I use Matt, because I saw you had done the same in another Forum post) so, I look at it like this… There are over 7 billion humans roaming this planet. So you have over 7 billion personalities and mindsets here as well. Is there one size fits all? No. Are there two sizes for everyone? No. There are over 7 billion sizes. But humans like to break things down into groups of ‘things’ because I think it makes us feel better about how we can deal with them. We like to sort, and categorize ‘stuff’…. So, to me, I’d ask the question, ‘what do ‘I’ want to be’ and ‘what makes me feel the best about ‘myself’. And that will require a good bit of learning and introspection. And once you have made that decision, it is time to figure out how to get from now (point A) to then (point B). In fact, I just started a Forum post on a Book of the Month Club, and one of those books might just be a start…. Michelle

      2 users thanked author for this post.
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