Isolation…

  • Creator
    Topic
  • #117693
    DeeAnn Hopings
    Ambassador

    To me, one of the most significant issues that trans people face is isolation. In its simplest form, it is a lack of contact with other trans folks. I suspect that a number of folks here have had the experience that there is no one like you and there is no one to talk to who would understand your situation. There are various ways this can happen. It may be due to living in a small town away from any metropolitan areas. There can be fear as you may not know who you can trust with this very deeply seated information. You may be ready to discuss your situation with a therapist, but some may work in the health care field and news may travel fast if seen in a certain place or talking with a certain person. Owing to you your circumstances, you may feel very restricted in how you express your gender identity.

    So, for people who are currently experiencing isolation, or have in the past:

    • Describe your situation.
    • How have you managed to deal with isolation so far (or not)?
    • How do you see things progressing in the future?
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    • #118518
      Autumn
      FREE

      I’m naturally a shy person, very introverted. So that’s part of why I’m isolated. But it’s also about trust. I knew from an early age that I could never share who I really was with anyone in my family. I think that’s the reason I’ve always felt I had to keep so much of who I am to myself. After all, if I couldn’t even trust my family, the people who were supposed to love me unconditionally, how could I possibly trust anyone else? I never even shared who I really was with my ex-wife. I’ve never shared who I really am with anyone in person. This site and Suicide Forum are the only places I’ve ever revealed Autumn. Part of me feels like I have to protect her, and part of me feels like it’s too big of a risk.

       

      I often fantasize about having friends who accept me for who I really am. Maybe it’s easier for me to fantasize about something like this because I have no friends. No social life. The only time I leave my apartment is for work and groceries. People at work are not friends, they’re just coworkers. I’m always guarded, never revealing any more than I have to about my life, so people know very little about me. I basically live in a shell all the time. Always on guard. Except at home. Where I can be Autumn.

       

      So for me, I guess I’m able to handle the isolation because in isolation I’m able to be myself, and I love it. As far as the future is concerned, I don’t know. Right now, the social life is a fantasy.

       

      Hugs everyone,

       

      Autumn

    • #118425
      Michelle Larsen
      MANAGING AMBASSADOR

      DeeAnn, I must confess that I have actually read this topic several times, and each time I just couldn’t figure out what to say in responding. Not that I couldn’t relate to what you wrote, I just didn’t know how to phrase it. So, part of me wants to say that if I focus on just contact with other transgender people, then I would wonder if I’m putting myself in a box like you hear so many happen…. Hmmmmm. But since I have always been quite happy in the world I developed around me, going out to social things has never been an issue. And then there is the ‘location, location, location’ thing…. Where I live there isn’t a whole lot to do, social wise….. But all in all, even if there were, I’d probably shy away anyway. I’m more of the stay at home-body mom type….. I guess that is about it…. Hugs, Michelle

      2 users thanked author for this post.
      • #118443

        I think that way too Michelle, my closest friends (women) have embraced me as female and can answer almost all of the problems and questions I have. I do seek their advice and help…that is my way forward. They are very protective of me and I really feel safe with them. Girls really do look out for each other.
        I get what DeeAnn is saying though, sometimes in the dead of night I wish I could talk to another trans…just to share, and banish the gremlins. Those are the ones perhaps only trans people truly understand. So in most ways I’m one of the girls…but to have a close trans friend would be nice.There may well be a conflict though as I am attracted to TW so friendships could get complicated lol.

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