lonely but not alone…


  • Creator
  • #95719

    I came out 8 months ago as a woman and it’s been a struggle to get to the point I am currently at with my wife. She gets it at this point and is supportive in passive ways. With old makeup and clothes. I understand that 10 years of dating/ being married to a man takes adjustment but her sexuality isn’t changing. I don’t expect compliments in any way shape or form because she’s not into women. It does however make me sad. She Said she loves me for me and doesn’t want anyone else regardless of what I am. Great except I feel lonely. We decided to continue the plan to have a family, maybe stupidly.
    She is horrible at talking about feelings and I’m working on my communication but she just shuts down and doesn’t want to talk about it. I’m at a loss here. I don’t want to be here anymore. there are 0 signs of it getting any better than neutral to mildly uncomfortable. Yet she does not want to end things because IDK. Neither of us is happy I don think. I can’t be too girly because shell gets upset. I want to be loved for who I am not tolerated despite it. The worst thing about this… is just circumstance. No one can be blamed here. I don’t know how to deal here. I’m trying and it feels so alone and futile. I’m not even sure what to do at this point.
    Being a girl complicates being married to a woman.

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  • Author
    • #95738
      Michelle Larsen

      Sira, that is tough. There is no checklist, or guidebook, or manual to go by. I can say this, open, honest, and frank discussion is going to be key. Without that, nothing will go anywhere, and you will both just shrivel up on the vine. And maybe some counseling or therapy for both of you, or separately is in order. If separately, I’d suggest making it transparent to the other so they don’t feel excluded. That will only add another set of concerns. I hope this helps. Michelle

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