Looking for advice/experiences for partners

Do you think we can stay together after surgery?

I’ve been with her through hormones, blockers, counselling and other things that don’t come to mind. I’m so scared after surgery it’s going to all change. I love her so much and don’t wanna lose this.

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This topic contains 5 replies, has 4 voices, and was last updated by  Danielle Nus 2 weeks ago.

  • Creator
    Topic
  • #32065

    Stazza
    Participant

    Hey, my name is Stacey. I’m in a relationship and have been for over a year with a trans woman (mtf) we finally got the month for her surgery after her meeting last week. So September is the big month.

     

    Im just looking for anyone I can talk to. I’d love to hear people’s experiences and get some more perspective on some things. I’d like to chat to any other partners there may be out there as I haven’t seemed to come across many that I could talk to.

     

    Im sorry if this violates any rules or people feel that I shouldn’t be on here. Feel free to let me know x

    2 users thanked author for this post.
  • Author
    Replies
  • #32184
     Danielle Nus 
    Participant

    FREE

    Hey, my name is Stacey. I’m in a relationship and have been for over a year with a trans woman (mtf) we finally got the month for her surgery after her meeting last week. So September is the big month.

    Im just looking for anyone I can talk to. I’d love to hear people’s experiences and get some more perspective on some things. I’d like to chat to any other partners there may be out there as I haven’t seemed to come across many that I could talk to.

    Im sorry if this violates any rules or people feel that I shouldn’t be on here. Feel free to let me know x

    If you really love this person it shouldn’t matter what the person looks like on the outside but what’s on the inside that counts , think back to what attracted your attention to this person and relish that feeling, .

     

  • #32079
     Marianne Ferrara 
    Ambassador

    AMBASSADOR

    An absolute pleasure Stacy.

    I thank you for the opportunity to help and please, if there is any other question, or you just need to chat, I try to be here every other day (not weekends though).

    I wish you both the best and hope that you grow wiser, older and happier together. May all go well with the Affirmative Surgery.

    💖🌸💗

  • #32070
     Marianne Ferrara 
    Ambassador

    AMBASSADOR

    Hi Stacey,

    No, as far as we are respectful and we understand that we are talking openly to a wide range of sexual preferences (mainly oriented towards Transgender folk, but not limited to) any question is OK.

    I have two questions for you:

    1. Why are you with her in the first place? This means: what defines your relationship in the emotional aspects of it?
    2. After the surgery, are those aspects going, or are in danger of disappearing?

    I, for one, believe that Affirmative Surgery is for those who are out of synchrony with their bodies, not with their minds. If there is an affective disorder or an emotional issue, that is another topic. But the person that she already is, if she is good, if she loves you, if she respects you, if she is your partner in all things, will remain the same one after the procedure.

    If anything, the relationship will flourish as long as you both are in total agreement, and are OK with all the aspects, both social and personal.

    We are here for our sisters, and brothers, and their loved ones.

    2 users thanked author for this post.
    • #32093
       Kris Herrington 
      Participant

      FREE

      I totally agree.  Well said.👍

      1 user thanked author for this post.
    • #32071
       Stazza 
      Participant

      FREE

      Hey Marianne,

      I would always strive to do my best to be respectful and never intentionally hurt someone. I’m here to learn. Each person it different and I understand that 😊

       

      To answer your questions, I’m with her because she makes me happy. She’s everything I want in a partner. We are open and honest with one another. We communicate and she has kept me in the loop since day 1.

      For the second part, no I don’t think that they are in danger of going. I have my worries about healing. Things like is she going to want me now that she has finally become who she always wanted to be. What if I can’t give her what’s she wants.

      I, for one, believe that Affirmative Surgery is for those who are out of synchrony with their bodies, not with their minds. If there is an affective disorder or an emotional issue, that is another topic. But the person that she already is, if she is good, if she loves you, if she respects you, if she is your partner in all things, will remain the same one after the procedure.

      If anything, the relationship will flourish as long as you both are in total agreement, and are OK with all the aspects, both social and personal.

      I do thank you for how you put and brought forward the issue of body over mind and it has made me stop and think. I do believe that you are right.

      Min just trying to be strong and be everything she needs me to be in these upcoming months and thereafter.

       

      Thank you you for your reply 😊

      1 user thanked author for this post.

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