Looking for Parenting Advice

[Mara Felby]

Hello, I am a parent of a pre-teen boy who is starting to ask questions surrounding gender. He continues to identify as male, but is wondering what that means and if he is really a female. We have always had a close, open, communicative relationship and I am so happy that he trusts me enough to talk to me about the things he is thinking and feeling. But I just don’t have all the answers for him on this topic! I’ve told him that he is accepted and beautiful no matter who he is, but beyond that, I am not equipped right now to answer some of the questions he has.

I joined this forum to ask those questions and take some of the answers back to my son so that he can figure things out more easily.

Also, in the event that my son decides that he is my daughter after all, what advice can you give me as a parent? What do you wish that your parents had done differently? How can I best support?

[Krystal Garven]

Hi Mara , I’m an old Trans Female now , a two spirited person is really a special person , they already know who they are  , there’s always past signs and there true way they feel – they also know naturally to protect themselves in school trying to fit in to a society that already has them labeled a boy not by there choice  – as a parent never deny there true Soul , it will only hurt the child , acceptance is critical for a 2 spirited person  to live a happy life without fighting a bios that will lead to addiction  and unhappiness – take the child to a gender psychologist – if this is so being female then it’s important that Testosterone blockers and estradiol are started so that the child has a normal female puberty regards to there voice , physical body size    basic development to enjoy there desired gender – it’s not a dirty thing to be Female – let there soul flourish and have a good happy life – XO – Krystal , BC , Canada

[Mara Felby]

Yes, I am doing research on the chemical blockers. I do have many medical questions about that, but as you say, those are for a doctor or psychologist. I have a recommendation from a friend for a good doctor in our town.

My son is definitely special and will be just as much whether he is a boy or a girl. I’ve told him this and I truly hope he knows it.

Specifically, he is trying to understand what it means to be a woman (or a man). It’s a lot harder than I thought it would be to answer. When I try to speak from my experience as a woman and what that means to me, he keeps pointing out (he is too smart sometimes) that I’ve already taught him that those things are not unique to femininity. Fashion/appearance choices, for example. He likes to wear yoga pants out of the house and shave his body hair (he hates it), for example. Mostly he shops in the girls section for everything except shoes (he is a size 12 already and has a hard time finding shoes in the women’s section). I’ve always taught him that there is no such thing as “boys clothes” or “girls clothes,” it’s all just clothes, wear whatever you like. Am I telling him the wrong thing? What would you tell him (from your journey ) about what it means to be a woman?

[Jessica Maddison]

Mara all I can say is you, came to the Right Place, to find the Right Answers for your child. You are a Loving and Caring Parent….
You’re Child is so Blessed, too have a Wonderful Mother.
The Loving People here at TGH SITE
WILL DO ALL WE CAN to help you and your child.

[Author]

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