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If person A has some interaction with person B, person A will typically have a feeling of love, or hate, or something in between, towards person A, based on how person B reacted. And that is to be expected, and usually welcomed if it is on the positive side of the spectrum. Joy and happiness always follow when reactions are on the positive side of the spectrum.
But what if it isn’t? Maybe person A initiation of the interaction was go get a purposefully negative reaction from person B. Then person A is probably happy because the accomplished what they set out to do. In the first scenario, we had two positives; that is very good. In the second, we had a positive and a negative; while not the best, it could be anticipated.
But, what if, person B does not react? Or reacts with indifference. The person A is befuddled. When my kids were much younger and would get picked on, I told them they have a choice; give in and respond, and give the other person the happiness they wanted by seeing you get upset over what they did. Or, just ignore them if you can. It seems the nature response is to fight back when you are slighted. But if you ignore the other person, to the point of being indifferent, then you have denied them the pleasure they seek from their friends, showing how ‘big they are’.
It is hard to take that position, and it may not be immediate. But as my kids discovered, the bullies tend to give up fairly easily and sulk away. It doesn’t happen all the time, but I suspect enough that that might be the best ‘first course’ of action. For me, the preference is to first try the ‘flight’ and not become part of the other person’s problem, before I take on the ‘fight’ part of the process.
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