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I have always liked mirrors or really anything that can reflect its surroundings. I think they can be great for making a room look bigger or to give it more light. I find a calm lake that’s reflecting the grandeur around it one of the most beautiful things on this planet. Whenever I think about when I was younger at Grandmas house I can always picture the mirror that was hung over the couch. For whatever reason that mirror is a huge part of those memories.
The problem with mirrors is I hate my reflection. Seeing myself has always caused me to have such a disconnected feeling. I look at myself and I cant understand how what I see looking back at me is me. It doesn’t make sense to me. That’s not who I am.
Sometimes though I do see me its fleeting and gone as fast as it came. I cant look to hard because then what I see begins to twist in my mind. I see every flaw, every thing that makes me not her and that hurts. Shaving is an absolute nightmare experience for me. Every time I have to look at myself shaving I want to cry, I have cried.
When I do see her though, its just right. When I see her I dont hate myself I dont want to cry. I am not her yet but she is there I can see her in my eyes and the eyes are the mirror of the soul. She is there she is trying to come out. I hope soon everyone can see what I only get brief glimpses of in the mirror.
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