Mother withheld my social security and insurance info, forced me to come out


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    • #130026

      My mother refused to let me have access to my social security number, insurance information, and medical records that I needed to safely afford treatment at a local clinic. I was 18, and was going to the planned parenthood for hormone therapy, but needed insurance to cover it. She forced me to come out to my father, cornering me, otherwise she refused to even let me know what my social security number was at all. Is this ok? I’m genuinely not sure and can’t figure out if she should have been able to keep that from me as an adult, even if I was still on their insurance. She also told me that he would be told about it by the provider and find out. Is that true? Any insight is greatly appreciated, as there are plenty of things I am unsure about in this situation. She would not let me see my records at all.

    • #130027
      Michelle Lawson

      Jon, as an adult, I can say with pretty much 100% certainty that withholding Social Security information from another person is not legal. If you were under 18, that might be different. As for the medical issues, again, and especially as an adult, I’m pretty darn sure that your medical providers cannot provide medical information about you to anyone without your consent.

      We say you pop in to chat. Please pop in again and maybe we can lend you some support. Michelle

      • #130030

        Thank you so much! yikes. She told me that there was no way to keep them form telling him. I guess that’s just another reason not to trust them.

    • #130028

      Hi, Jon, and welcome to TGH.  I’m glad you found us.   Yours is a sad, harsh story, and I wish you weren’t going through it

      I agree with Michelle.  If you are over 18, they can’t legally do that.  And the providers can only release information to others if you have give signed permission.   If you have already done so, you have the ability to take away the written permission.

      I hope you return to the site and we these messages.   And I join Michelle in asking you to join us in the chat room….you will find that there are lots of people to give support and guidance.

      Again, welcome to heaven


      • #130031

        Thanks for the support!

        Really? This is one of the tamer things they’ve put me through…

        I would absolutely love to join the chat!

        • This reply was modified 1 year ago by Jon M.
    • #137110

      First, you are of legal age and no one can withhold your personal information from you unless you have provided a legal signed document indicating such.  Medical providers are obligated by law to only provide personal information about you to you, unless you have signed a legally signed directive by you indicating who can receive personal information.

      tell your mother so. Your father will find out anyway sooner or later. Now, as far as the insurance goes, if she owns the policy, or the father does, they may be able to remove you from the policy by having the insurance company specifically removing you from the policy at their request.
      Sorry to hear about your position. I will be thinking about this one for awhile.

      hugs, Jillleanne

      • #137114

        and listen to jill lacey…

        she knows things…

        scary things…

        things that can make skin crawl….

        oh, and she is kinda cool, in a very demented way of course,

        • #137115

          And if I don’t know, Jessica does ‘cause I learned from the best!  She does kinda grow on ya though, sort of like moss, in a sweet and sexy way. We are not just flukes of the universe ya know! Well, maybe we are but that’s ok too.

    • #137113


      there is a lot of help out there for you.. Do some google searches specific to your issues. seek out free legal aid council. You can contact  local ss admin to get a copy of your number. Just be careful at home. Its a delecate situation and its likely to grow.

      You could try to suggest to your mom you want /need therapy, which is covered by insurance .. what you discuss is totally confidential, including matters of dealing with parents. they can help you navigate now and in the future. Dr’s therapists etc cannot discuss anything due to hippa, but your dad will see claim forms being processed by ins. co. That could be why your mom wants you to talk to him.

      also, ask around in chat… there are many who have a wealth of knowledge and licensed psychologists too who can offer advice.

      best of luck,


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