MTF Dating

How easy have you found dating?

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  • Very Easy
  • Easy
  • Slightly Difficult
  • Difficult
  • Very Difficult
  • Creator
  • #117448

    Choose from the poll options how easy have you have found it to date as a trans woman.

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  • Author
    • #137891
      Miriya Paris


      I know this thread is old but the topic is far from it. And the answer all depends on what you mean by dating.

      If you mean a plutonic FAB friend who is alt or a lesbian I would say so so, however if you want to go out with her romantically, this is a whole different ball game. Most people still have a social stigma about trans people, lesbian FAB’s tend to like other lesbian FAB’s or trans guys, the MTF’s usually do not meet the cut. However I did find the concept of a ‘chic with a dick’ goes a long way in the lesbian community if you really pass well and are gifted down there (usually HRT eliminates this option for you). But similar to guys it is more of a sex thing. As for strait FAB’s you mine as well go buy a lottery ticket.

      Now if you mean by dating, a one night bang from a porn crazed guy, then your chances are fairly good. Guys love the whole porn concept of a MTF and if they are half way drunk and you can stoop low enough they will use you like a tampon, messy and a one time thing. Personally I find just about all the guys who have ever come on to me gross as they think I am some sort of a porn star. Strait guys, is difficult but every once in a while you will find a real nice socially awkward guy who tries to date a MTF, he will treat you real nice, but still he wont bring you home to meet the parents. Landing one of those rich hot hunks we all want you better be the one super hot arm candy, and be willing to put out on demand, but that is a sugar daddy dating and I assume a whole different question.

      As for other MTF’s they are a crap shoot, most still have the guy porn thing going (see above), and just about all the rest are really looking for a mentor or friend. But a few will try to date you and make a go of it romantically, this is actually probably the best category to find someone, as lots in the community are looking and very lonely.

      But wait how does it all this compare to cis dating. In reality as most FAB’s can attest to lots of guys still have the porn thing going. And my guess is still a 1 in 33 chance of finding a decent human who wants a romantic relationship with you, so keep shucking those clams one will have a pearl inside.


      ps. My experiences are for the X generation and Millennial’s, who the heck knows what the genZ’ers will do.


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      • #138500

        I would think this actually sums it up accurately enough.

    • #137881

      So this went on many years ago,I meet a female friend who after I met her she wanted me to wear her undergarments I thought to myself this a one of a kind person, we became instant best girlfriends,It was fantastic,Life was good this went on for many years, we both married different spouses, she got a divorce and family’s were in a uproar and I never heard from her again, I was so devastated I told my wife about how I was transgender in private, and did not want me to talk about it,So with that being said I have been searching for another best friend for years and it’s been very hard to find someone who you can trust and let me be myself, So Don’t give up keep searching,Thank you,

      1 user thanked author for this post.
    • #131994
      DeeAnn Hopings


      Note that the person who initiated this thread has not been logged in for 10 months…

      2 users thanked author for this post.
    • #131954

      I guess that I’m par for the course; 🙂 80% said difficult or very difficult.  My own situation is complicated by the fact that I’m attracted to women, and not at all to men.  Nonetheless, I act like a girl on a date.  No doubt, I need a woman that is bisexual or pansexual.  Adding to that, I’m 73, a staunch atheist, and a staunch liberal.  Needless to say, I’m not holding my breath. 🙂

      3 users thanked author for this post.
    • #130207
      Jan Janet

      <p style=”text-align: center;”>I love dressing up, and I found that women are 100% more accepting than men. I don’t desire to be with a man. I mostly want to please a woman and that kind of puts me in a spot too.</p>

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    • #130190

      I voted “slightly difficult” even though I almost clicked on difficult for my selection.

      I was fortunate that while I came out and started transitioning in 2015 at the age of 40, that in dating in 2020 after divorce from wife of 25 years, that I found an awesome life partner quickly who accepts me as transgender MTF and doesn’t want me to be someone I am not.

      But prior to finding my new life partner and us moving in together, the others that discovered who I am who wanted a relationship with me, they said they accepted me as transgender MTF, but they wanted to have me as a Male Figure, and they wanted me to change from being a female in the public view to only being female in private as it was seen as a great incompatibility for them to be seen with a transgender MTF in public as well as especially around their family members who would judge them.

      And so I can understand it being very difficult to difficult to finding a successful date. And in all actuality I thought that I was going to have to date another transgender individual in order to be accepted and find a successful life partner.


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      • #130192
        DeeAnn Hopings

        In effect that is saying:

        ”You’re OK as long as you twist yourself into a pretzel that I define.”.

        Yeah, that works…

        1 user thanked author for this post.
        • #130204

          Yeah… I’m not going to let anyone twist me into the pretzel that they define LOL

          I’m going to be me and those in my life in relationship with me have to accept me as female both in appearance and at heart. When I came out finally and started my transition it wasn’t to come out and have someone push me back into that closet or a selective closet of well you can be female in private where no one knows.

          1 user thanked author for this post.
    • #117545

      I found dating quite hard to do I think my self I am a bi lesbian. I love women but there are times I feel I want flesh in me. Sorry if I am being to blunt. Crossdresser’s are usually are good to meet as they are not so big and macho when dressed. I have met a couple of transgender people who are exactly in line with my thoughts.

      6 users thanked author for this post.
    • #117521
      DeeAnn Hopings

      I am not trying to meet people for relationships as I’ve been married for 16 years now. But, I do know some trans women friends who identify as lesbian who have a very difficult time regarding meeting other women. It seems that as soon as folks find out that they are trans, that is the end of things.

      Anecdotally, what I suspect is going on is some sort of aversion to men such that they do not view trans women as women. It’s interesting because they are all bright, accomplished professional women and have fully transitioned. One is a computer programmer and department manager. Another is an HR professional and the 3rd has managed hotels. In short, they ain’t slugs, so to speak. From their experiences and from things I’ve read, this is an ongoing problem and seems like it will be slow to change…

      6 users thanked author for this post.
    • #117487

      Hi Ladies , Well its not easy  for sure , i’ve  tried . I say tried as in meeting people on FB and not finding no one close . I have met some nice men and trans women and cis gender women , still none close . I am not sure what i am looking for , a permanent relationship ? dating ? , i guess i’ll decide when , if , it happens . I am not hard pressed to find someone , just interested in having someone in my life to share its ups and downs , companionship , right ? I live by myself only talk with my neighbors , i am closeted with them , they have made it clear not into trans people , and they help me with my big yard, 3 acres to mow , ouch ! The virus has made meeting people near impossible , oh well , i ‘ll keep talking with my long distance friends , they are nice to . I wish all you luck in this and hope things will change to a more positive way to meet and date people with out having to pay someone . Good luck girls . XOXO , Leslie

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