How easy have you found dating?
- Very Easy
- Easy
- Slightly Difficult
- Difficult
- Very Difficult
- This topic has 9 replies, 7 voices, and was last updated 8 months ago by
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- Topic
Choose from the poll options how easy have you have found it to date as a trans woman.
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I guess that I’m par for the course; 🙂 80% said difficult or very difficult. My own situation is complicated by the fact that I’m attracted to women, and not at all to men. Nonetheless, I act like a girl on a date. No doubt, I need a woman that is bisexual or pansexual. Adding to that, I’m 73, a staunch atheist, and a staunch liberal. Needless to say, I’m not holding my breath. 🙂
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<p style=”text-align: center;”>I love dressing up, and I found that women are 100% more accepting than men. I don’t desire to be with a man. I mostly want to please a woman and that kind of puts me in a spot too.</p>
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I voted “slightly difficult” even though I almost clicked on difficult for my selection.
I was fortunate that while I came out and started transitioning in 2015 at the age of 40, that in dating in 2020 after divorce from wife of 25 years, that I found an awesome life partner quickly who accepts me as transgender MTF and doesn’t want me to be someone I am not.
But prior to finding my new life partner and us moving in together, the others that discovered who I am who wanted a relationship with me, they said they accepted me as transgender MTF, but they wanted to have me as a Male Figure, and they wanted me to change from being a female in the public view to only being female in private as it was seen as a great incompatibility for them to be seen with a transgender MTF in public as well as especially around their family members who would judge them.
And so I can understand it being very difficult to difficult to finding a successful date. And in all actuality I thought that I was going to have to date another transgender individual in order to be accepted and find a successful life partner.
In effect that is saying:
”You’re OK as long as you twist yourself into a pretzel that I define.”.
Yeah, that works…
Yeah… I’m not going to let anyone twist me into the pretzel that they define LOL
I’m going to be me and those in my life in relationship with me have to accept me as female both in appearance and at heart. When I came out finally and started my transition it wasn’t to come out and have someone push me back into that closet or a selective closet of well you can be female in private where no one knows.
I found dating quite hard to do I think my self I am a bi lesbian. I love women but there are times I feel I want flesh in me. Sorry if I am being to blunt. Crossdresser’s are usually are good to meet as they are not so big and macho when dressed. I have met a couple of transgender people who are exactly in line with my thoughts.
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I am not trying to meet people for relationships as I’ve been married for 16 years now. But, I do know some trans women friends who identify as lesbian who have a very difficult time regarding meeting other women. It seems that as soon as folks find out that they are trans, that is the end of things.
Anecdotally, what I suspect is going on is some sort of aversion to men such that they do not view trans women as women. It’s interesting because they are all bright, accomplished professional women and have fully transitioned. One is a computer programmer and department manager. Another is an HR professional and the 3rd has managed hotels. In short, they ain’t slugs, so to speak. From their experiences and from things I’ve read, this is an ongoing problem and seems like it will be slow to change…
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Hi Ladies , Well its not easy for sure , i’ve tried . I say tried as in meeting people on FB and not finding no one close . I have met some nice men and trans women and cis gender women , still none close . I am not sure what i am looking for , a permanent relationship ? dating ? , i guess i’ll decide when , if , it happens . I am not hard pressed to find someone , just interested in having someone in my life to share its ups and downs , companionship , right ? I live by myself only talk with my neighbors , i am closeted with them , they have made it clear not into trans people , and they help me with my big yard, 3 acres to mow , ouch ! The virus has made meeting people near impossible , oh well , i ‘ll keep talking with my long distance friends , they are nice to . I wish all you luck in this and hope things will change to a more positive way to meet and date people with out having to pay someone . Good luck girls . XOXO , Leslie
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