- September 4, 2020 at 11:08 am #88446Garrison MacgregorParticipant
Brand new cocoon- grandchild started HRT yesterday- MTF – i have been checking out mtf photos and support her with all my heart- she is very lonely and needs human touch – she is 20 – we are anticipating a beautiful butterfly to emerge – she is worried about her height 5’9 –
- September 5, 2020 at 6:49 pm #88499Garrison MacgregorParticipantFREE
thank you so much- I have never been around girls- I have one son and one grand (son) so this is going to be very new to this 70 yr old cis grandma. My husband is the only other family member who knows. He is step grandpa but been around since she was 5 – she works full time as a stocker in a local grocery nights- just started driving on 20th birthday at my instance due to her being on the autism spectrum. I am just needing input as to what to expect and how I can help her. She lives in our guest apartment detached from where we live and I wake her every night at 8 with dinner. I dont mind cooking for her, she is just an extra- so no trouble. Her doc told us Thursday that in about 3 months she is going to start being weepy and seeing some changes in her moods and tastes. I am on stand by – thank you for giving me any and all information you can direct to me… i have not found a blog or journal of a mtf in the early stages – if there is a website or link please direct me. I did look at pflag but it is 2 hours from us. Nana
- September 5, 2020 at 4:22 pm #88493CC WebbManaging AmbassadorMANAGING AMBASSADOR
First, you need your own support network if you don’t already have one. We do have some other family members (we call them significant others or SO’s), but they don’t tend to stay long after finding the help they needed. I don’t know your area, but PFLAG (Parents and Friends of Lesbians and Gays) also helps transgender people and their families. You can try this link to see if there is one close to you https://pflag.org/find-a-chapter. If they’re not close, most are doing virtual gatherings due to COVID right now.
The second thing is yes, be patient with her as HRT does its thing to stop testosterone production and replace it with estradiol. This is a roller coaster ride and the emotions will be new and confusing, but within a year should even out and a lot of the nastier effects of T should subside. It is a second puberty. Otherwise you are doing all the right things for her. It’s a brutal world for us and finding our own support networks is difficult, much less finding acceptance at work, in school, in society. This is a journey and can take years until we find peace with ourselves and our place in this world.
- September 4, 2020 at 7:19 pm #88466Garrison MacgregorParticipantFREE
I am her only grandparent and i am 70- her mother hasn’t seen her in 15 yrs (lost custody) and her dad is an ass- he remarried 10 yrs ago to a woman with a ** Perfect ** daughter 1 yr older. my granddaughter came out as bi when she was 10 then 5 yrs ago she came out to me as trans. Her very very few highschool friends have known because they lived together after hs for 2 yrs – this is tough on this old cis grandma. she lives in our guest apt across the street – only pays elec, wifi and her car insurance. can stay as long as she needs. she and I have had a few disagreements in the past and has just recently moved home (on her 20th) she works full time nights at a grocery as a stocker- the doc told her yesterday and her emotions are going to start changing and she might start getting weepy (yes we cis women cry over our trans children) and I am just hoping she will start having some empathy- she is high functioning autism. (used to be called aspergers) I go wake her up at 8 every night with dinner. before yesterday she was an aggressive HE with a foul mouth and attitude to match, doesnt do drugs and very argumentative. question : 1 will the estrogen make him calmer and/or nicer ? 2. will it make him appreciate me and what I am doing. I feel so unappreciated but drove him 4 hours to the hrt doc (she would never make it thru the traffic) and sat with while passing out from having blood drawn 3. can any of you mtf give me some insight and/or advice ?
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- September 4, 2020 at 5:07 pm #88461CC WebbManaging AmbassadorMANAGING AMBASSADOR
I’m 5’8″ and not getting any taller, LOL. Garrison, bless you for supporting her. That is what she needs most. You don’t say how much of an influence you have in her life, but you could mention this site. Loneliness is part of transgender life and we understand it all too well. She would find community here and there’s a very good possibility we might be able to help her find local connections as well.
- September 4, 2020 at 2:39 pm #88458JenniParticipantFREE
5′ 9″ is fine! I was 5 ‘ 8″ when I started out on my journey. Girls are taller these days too. And clothes tend to hang better on a tall figure.
All my best wishes to her. She will be in my thoughts.
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