My life,struggling to happiness

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    Topic
  • #133731
    Heather Dowd
    Participant

    My life was a struggle at first to happiness.At age 7,knew I was feminine wanting to be one of the girls.Remember wanting to play dress up with my female cousins,did not mom distracted me for some reason.I tried to suppress the feelings that worked at first.My mom knew there was something wrong watching it watching me grow up.Dad ignored it it.Finally at age 39,began electrolysis for hair removal and started growing my hair out at age 38.Ex wife  knew something was going on at first.It also was shopping for women’s clothing and shoes.I was wearing women’s clothing when she was gone also.It was after I turned 40,things came out,Ex wife found my stash of women’s clothing  and shoez.She was frustrated and left.We ended up divorcing on good terms.During the divorce I did come out to my kids,daughter was 18 and son was 16 at the time.They adjusted day by day that dad was going to be much happier.My family,it took time for them to adjust and accept it.Friends accepted it and were on for support.Work,it was good right away making a coming out letter.Other family members knew I was hurting inside and were glad I did come out.Seen a therapist,diagnosed me with gender dysphoria.Finally after the divorce was final,completely purged my male wardrobe and began my new life as Heather not looking back.My son and daughter whom are 21 and 19 now see me much happier including my family and friends including co workers and boss.A healthy relationship with my girlfriend Ashley which will be 2 years in Febuary of next year.My ex wife and I still talk to this day,I understand she could not deal with this at all

     

    4 users thanked author for this post.
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    Replies
    • #134059
      DeeAnn Hopings
      AMBASSADOR

      Heather:

      It’s great that you are here! I hope that being here will be a very positive experience for you.

      Sorry that your coming out led to divorce, but it is not uncommon. From what I can tell, there doesn’t seem to be any consistent way of predicting how things will turn out. As a rule, all of us have to realize that separation is one of the possible outcomes.

      Thanks for working on your Profile page! It really makes it easier for others to understand your situation. Remember that you can update it at any time when something changes.

      Are you connected with the trans community in your area? Many LGBT centers are doing online gatherings so that can make things much easier if you don’t live in a metropolitan area…

      1 user thanked author for this post.
    • #134019
      Laura Moore
      SILVER

      My life was a struggle at first to happiness.At age 7,knew I was feminine wanting to be one of the girls.Remember wanting to play dress up with my female cousins,did not mom distracted me for some reason.I tried to suppress the feelings that worked at first.My mom knew there was something wrong watching it watching me grow up.Dad ignored it it.Finally at age 39,began electrolysis for hair removal and started growing my hair out at age 38.Ex wife  knew something was going on at first.It also was shopping for women’s clothing and shoes.I was wearing women’s clothing when she was gone also.It was after I turned 40,things came out,Ex wife found my stash of women’s clothing  and shoez.She was frustrated and left.We ended up divorcing on good terms.During the divorce I did come out to my kids,daughter was 18 and son was 16 at the time.They adjusted day by day that dad was going to be much happier.My family,it took time for them to adjust and accept it.Friends accepted it and were on for support.Work,it was good right away making a coming out letter.Other family members knew I was hurting inside and were glad I did come out.Seen a therapist,diagnosed me with gender dysphoria.Finally after the divorce was final,completely purged my male wardrobe and began my new life as Heather not looking back.My son and daughter whom are 21 and 19 now see me much happier including my family and friends including co workers and boss.A healthy relationship with my girlfriend Ashley which will be 2 years in Febuary of next year.My ex wife and I still talk to this day,I understand she could not deal with this at all

       

      Yours is a positive story and I am happy for you Heather. So many of us struggle internally and do not take the steps you have taken to embrace the real you. God Bless.

      Laura

      1 user thanked author for this post.
    • #133752

      Heather, it is so great to hear how things have worked out for you!  That level of understanding and support you got from family, friends and employer made a lot of difference, didn’t it?  SO much less stress to deal with, when transitioning presents quite enough other challenges.  Many of our sisters have to battle a much less accepting environment on their journey. It’s too bad that your (ex) wife couldn’t handle your coming out.  Her feelings are at least understandable, because we (those of us who were married when coming out) do sort of change the terms of the “deal” in a way many wives cannot adjust to.  I am glad to hear that she has accepted you enough to at least remain on good terms.

      It is because my ex wife and I have our son and daughter together

      1 user thanked author for this post.
    • #133749
      Dana Munson
      SILVER

      Heather, it is so great to hear how things have worked out for you!  That level of understanding and support you got from family, friends and employer made a lot of difference, didn’t it?  SO much less stress to deal with, when transitioning presents quite enough other challenges.  Many of our sisters have to battle a much less accepting environment on their journey. It’s too bad that your (ex) wife couldn’t handle your coming out.  Her feelings are at least understandable, because we (those of us who were married when coming out) do sort of change the terms of the “deal” in a way many wives cannot adjust to.  I am glad to hear that she has accepted you enough to at least remain on good terms.

      1 user thanked author for this post.
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