My nameless Muse

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  • #35585
    Josie Jay

    Hi!! First of all..I just love this platform and I love all of you. Ive never felt such warmth, understanding, and acceptance from any other group. My story is long and so very similar to so many I’ve read here….its almost like Deja Vu to read all these differing accounts that mirror mine so closely. Like many of you I spent untold hours in my mother’s and my sisters’s dressers looking and trying on. And like so many of you about my age (and there are so many of us) I repressed and tried so hard to ignore my feminine proclivities. I stuffed my feelings down deep, determined that I was going to be “normal”. I cross dressed very little in my adulthood…marriage, kids, bills…you all know what im talking about. I did fantisize a bit but I convinced myself that it was just that: a fantasy.

    I worked many jobs over the years before i became disabled, the longest of which was as a truck driver. In 1999 I was at a large truck stop in Conecticut standing in line in  the food court when a statuesque woman got into line behind me.  She struck up a friendly conversation with me and as memorable as that meeting was, I remember very little about the content of our chat, I do remeber her very well however. She was driving to another state to visit relatives. She was tall, thin, very poised, very self assured and very obviously a transexual (her voice, hands and Adams Apple). We sat together and chatted like old friends about the weather, the traffic, current events…she was just a great joy to talk too. She even said at one point that she enjoyed chatting with me because I didn’t on her…as beautiful as she was it didnt even occur to me…i just felt an instant bond with her.

    We parted ways after a half hour or so. I know it may sound cliche but, this woman, who’s name i cannot recall (believe me ive love to find her on social media), changed my life. As I left there that day i felt different. There was, for lack of a better term, a spark ignighted in me. I knew that some how, some way, I had to explore that part of myself. This lovely trans woman woke the slumbering transsexual witin me…Thank you so much (who ever you are…)


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    • #36285

      That was such a chance encounter and some would not have even taken advantage of it.  You were predisposed to recognizing a mutual transgender woman subconsciously which spurred you to continue to talk to her. How amazing chance truly is in our universe. By chance, my wife wanted to buy me a wig and I knew of a few places in Cleveland but my wife found this salon in Columbus. This is where I found my perfect wig and what a difference it makes to my look. By chance, my wife decided to do my makeup the same day we went to buy my wig. This enhanced the buying process because we could see the final look. By chance, making up after a disagreement, we had an honest discussion about our future, friendship, and HRT. Remaining friends is paramount to both of us and I am looking for the right doctor to start HRT 😁. By chance, unknowingly we have younger family members from my stepdaughters husbands side of the family where he has been transitioning, on HRT for the past 6+ months, and her wife is trying to understand but without proper support I believe. We want to have dinner with them to discuss what is going on, feelings, and support. Even though it is still a rough ride for us too.

      Chance is the one thing, in all of our planning and writing down the steps one by one and all of the guidance you can read, which is not accounted for. How can you when you don’t know what the “demon” Murphy is placing in your way!

      So, by chance you met, probably, the ONE woman who would make an impact on your future life which was such a positive role model and unknown that you can’t even remember her name. A sure clue it was the unexpected chance encounter more than content which guided your mind at that point. Enjoy your journey and if you ever meet her again buy her dinner and coffee and just chat and get to know “her”. You will be glad you did.


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