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Ive been thinking of coming here for a while now. I still don’t know for certain if I’m right, but here I go…
I spent most of my life repressing this. Turned out I was really good at being a man. I made a name for myself and found success and some measure of renown (maybe notoriety). I could have stayed on this track forever and when I died, people would remember me well. I worked really hard for this, had many adventures, even risked life and limb a few times. I did this of my own free will, and helped many people, and I do not regret it. But it was hollow. It is not who I am.
Ok the professional part is, I think I would have gone into ems and medicine no matter how I was born.
i don’t really identify as a man tho. I always dreamed about becoming a girl, since I can remember. I dressed as a kid but shut that down hard at 15, cause I grew up in Texas and in the 80s and early 90s what I did was not ok.
For some reason, tho, after being more or less in hibernation for 25 years, my Tiffany side woke up in November last year. With a vengeance. I bought a bunch of clothes, and started dressing. In my youth dressing used to be arousing, but now it’s just peaceful, like I’m being who I am. And I’m happy too, like smiling when I see my reflection stupid happy. Only other thing that makes me smile like that is my kids.
Im really active on the CDH site and I have good friends there that I love but I also feel like I’m a good bit beyond cd. I think of myself as Tiffany these days, and my female side is the dominant one by far. I don’t get to express it much tho, due to many reasons. I’m kind of a hot mess these days.
Im never going back to the way I was a year ago. I don’t know how far I’m gonna go tho. I joined here today because I want to meet and get to know others who have walked my path or one like it. One thing CDH has taught me is this is so much easier with friends, because they’ve been lights shining in my darkness.
im pretty outspoken and confident but I’m scared too.
My heart is in the game
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