My path, and hello to all

This topic contains 4 replies, has 4 voices, and was last updated by  Cloe (CC) Webb 2 months ago.

  • Creator
    Topic
  • #34058

    Tiffany Alexis
    Participant

    Ive been thinking of coming here for a while now. I still don’t know for certain if I’m right, but here I go…

    I spent most of my life repressing this. Turned out I was really good at being a man. I made a name for myself and found success and some measure of renown (maybe notoriety). I could have stayed on this track forever and when I died, people would remember me well. I worked really hard for this, had many adventures, even risked life and limb a few times. I did this of my own free will, and helped many people, and I do not regret it. But it was hollow. It is not who I am.

     

    Ok the professional part is, I think I would have gone into ems and medicine no matter how I was born.

     

    i don’t really identify as a man tho. I always dreamed about becoming a girl, since I can remember. I dressed as a kid but shut that down hard at 15, cause I grew up in Texas and in the 80s and early 90s what I did was not ok.

    For some reason, tho, after being more or less in hibernation for 25 years, my Tiffany side woke up in November last year. With a vengeance. I bought a bunch of clothes, and started dressing. In my youth dressing used to be arousing, but now it’s just peaceful, like I’m being who I am. And I’m happy too, like smiling when I see my reflection stupid happy. Only other thing that makes me smile like that is my kids.

    Im really active on the CDH site and I have good friends there that I love but I also feel like I’m a good bit beyond cd. I think of myself as Tiffany these days, and my female side is the dominant one by far. I don’t get to express it much tho, due to many reasons. I’m kind of a hot mess these days.

    Im never going back to the way I was a year ago. I don’t know how far I’m gonna go tho. I joined here today because I want to meet and get to know others who have walked my path or one like it. One thing CDH has taught me is this is so much easier with friends, because they’ve been lights shining in my darkness.

    im pretty outspoken and confident but I’m scared too.

    Tiffany

    5 users thanked author for this post.
  • Author
    Replies
  • #34123
     Cloe (CC) Webb 
    Managing Ambassador

    MANAGING AMBASSADOR

    Welcome to TGH, Tiffany!  I think you’ll find a lot of support from the girls here too and much more in line for someone who is considering or in transition.  I know what it truly means to be a hot mess now too and it is a challenge like no other I faced before.  But for me this is a welcome  and necessary journey to start at 52. Please feel free to PM me any time.

    Hugs, Ambassador Cloe

    1 user thanked author for this post.
  • #34083
     Danelle B 
    Participant

    SILVER

    Tiffany,

    Thanks and I completely understand, I just joined TGH also and was nice to read of someone going through the same feeling as me.

    I have made a mess of my marriage and state of my family, granted my kids are grown and on their own and I fear the humiliation that may result of a decision to become my true self.  I have tried many times to be “normal.”

    My wife years ago used to condone it but I took it too far in her mind and it has been a struggle ever since.  I have used HRT on and off and when I am on it and feeling the changes in soul and body it just feels right.

    I have lost my wife’s desire and I am content with that and feel it is time for us to move on with life that makes each of us happy.

    Good luck to you and I in our journeys.

    Danelle

    1 user thanked author for this post.
    • #34084
       Tiffany Alexis 
      Participant

      SILVER

      Thank you…probably the big unresolved conflict in my life is my sense of responsibility to others/sense of duty vs responsibility to myself. I haven’t found the answer yet. My marriage is failed, we are divorcing, not cause of this but we just fight like cats in a bag, just toxic. But my sense of responsibility to not affecting my two little boys and the fact that I do a lot of good at my job, in ways that others can’t. How much is enough is the question I can’t answer. Keeps me awake at night.

      tiffany

  • #34059
     Stephanie Jones 
    Participant

    FREE

    I hope you find what you’re looking for here, Tiffany:)

     

    Stephanie xo

    1 user thanked author for this post.

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