New and scared

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  • Author
    • #135663
      Jenny K

      Hi everyone, I am new here.Β  New to trying to understand these things about myself. I am not out, I’m very scared about what is going on for me.

    • #135666

      Jenny, there are only 3 barriers to “coming out”. Your honest feelings of gender identity, your job situation, and how important are your family relationships. I was scared until I answered these three questions for myself at age 65. I knew I was a closet transvestite but counseling and self-examination told me that not should I come out, but I should also have surgical affirmation. I am now 68, physically and chemically female. Try to answer the questions concerning the three barriers and know it is ok to be scared. Gabby Everett

    • #135685
      DeeAnn Hopings


      You landed here! Than is a very important first step. You are in a safe place with your peers.

      Many here have found that working with a therapist is very helpful. The human mind works to protect us and avoid difficult, stressful situations. When it comes to thinking about something that may have serious consequences for our lives going forward, it can be very hard to maintain focus. That’s where a therapist can help. But, it is important to work with someone who has experience with gender identity issues. Not everyone has that.

      Are you connected with the Trans community in your area? That is also important as it helps to combat isolation and is often a source of validation. Being among our peers is a powerful reinforcement. Also, many LGBT centers have online support and social groups these days. That can be helpful in terms of times, scheduling and logistics.

      I encourage you to complete your Profile page. It helps other members to understand your situation better. Remember that the page will always be available and can be updated at any time.

      You can also search the member database to look for other members in your area of Minnesota. Click on Social in the menu and than Member Directory.

    • #135713

      Jenny, it’s normal to be nervous about this, especially when it isn’t popular in mainstream circles, and Trans kids and their parents are being attacked by haters/zealots/fascists. But take heart, people are still transitioning.

      The key is, build your courage and confidence by coming here often, and taking the sage advice of these folks. The last thing you want in public is a case of nerves.

      I don’t know your beliefs, but I attended a Unitarian universalist church today, met a lovely, positive, young transwoman there. The population is very trans affirming and accepting, and I didn’t hear the words God or Jesus once, which is fine by me.

      Take care, be happy! Peace

      Natalie Gay

    • #135787

      Hello Jenny,

      Welcome to our wonderful, accepting, loving, helpful community where you can be safe and be yourself.

      You can read about the knowledge and experiances of others on a similar path by reading articles and in the forums and chatting in chat rooms.
      My hope is that you will become comfortable here and make many new friends.
      Glad you are here. Looking forward to seeing you on the site.
      Terri Anne, Ambassador

      ============ TGH MtF ChatRoom ============================

    • #135789

      I am new here to have been dressing up for years and now I feel like I am only comfortable when I am dressed and I am ready to go out but I am very scared i was hoping to find some friends here

      • #135813

        Lee, that was my initial fear also. This was before I started HRT. After HRT I started feeling more comfortable. I soon realized that people who saw me weren’t trying to out me so I didn’t have to “pass”. Gabby

    • #135799

      Jenny, hang in there. Lots of people just like you here trying to learn about themselves. Grab a coffee, sit down in a comfy chair and start exploring this site and when you have a question and can’t find the answer, post the question for all to see and respond to.the help you need starts here.

      hugs, Jillleanne

    • #135827

      Hi Jenny. Honey, EVERYONE IS SCARED AT FIRST. God knows I was. Like Gabby stated, I came out at 73, so the job was not in question as I’m retired. BUT!, I have a son and daughter in law and grand kids and great grand kids whom I still have to come out to. First sit down and search within yourself. Are you just a crossdresser, or are you transgendered. Yes! you may need counseling. I knew from a young age that I was both transgendered and “gay”(as a woman, I prefer men as sex partners). I have been married 3 times. Divorced 2 times, widowed 1 time. Raised 4 children, 2 sons and 2 daughters, and an adopted daughter. I’ve also buried 5 of my children. 3 daughters from cancer, 2 sons at birth, that always hurts, so I know pain. My last wife (bless her) passed away after a long illness. THAT! hurt me very deeply.
      Well today, I’m M2F, I’ve now been on HRT for almost 6 months, I live openly en femme 24/7, and have a boyfriend. I’m finally happy with life. No More Depression!! I’M ME!!
      BUT! Take Your Time Sweetheart. Think it through. If you feel you need to transition, Then begin slow. If Not, then LIVE as a man. BUT BE HAPPY WITH YOURSELF.
      Good Luck.
      Hugs and Kisses,

    • #135834
      Lauren Mugnaia

      Hi Jenny,

      I feel your anxiety, and I know the fear. It is a huge step to realize, and then accept, the reality that you are transgender. Some of us, myself being one, knew from a young age that we were transgender. Others didn’t realize it until they were at various stages of their lives and at an older age. I finally transitioned at retirement age but still work, now as a trans woman in an environment where I am accepted.

      But, it has cost me. My circle of friends has greatly diminished, and certain family members have refused to acknowledge the person I truly am and have always been.

      So you have to face the fact there may be sacrifices that must be made in order to come out as being a transgendered person…

      We are here for you Jenny, as most of us have already ventured down this path, and are willing to help you in any way we can.

      Wishing you the best, and big hugs,

      Ms. Lauren M

    • #135882

      uit de kast komen veel geluk er me

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