New here. Need friends!


  • Creator
  • #134246
    Hannah Whanger

    Hello! I’m new here. I’m a closeted transgender Female in my mid 30’s. Do to family and life circumstances I feel very stuck and alone. I’m looking for support, guidance and most importantly friends I can be myself with. Thanks.

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  • Author
    • #134265
      DeeAnn Hopings


      At one time or another, MANY here have been. We try to balance our lives between what we need, what those around us need and other circumstances in play. I suspect that if you put the question about balancing their lives to 100 trans people, you would probably get 100 different answers. It is very difficult when there is no real right or wrong answer. It comes down to what fits your set of circumstances the best and that’s why it is different from person to person.

      One of the continuing problems in the community is isolation. Humans are social creatures and it is a difficult situation when when we don’t have others to talk with, laugh with, commiserate with and be ourselves with. It is very important to see ourselves replicated in society, and for others to see us, but that isn’t always possible.

      While Des Moines is not super metropolitan area, have you found any LGBT groups near you? Note that since the pandemic many LGBT centers have implemented online support and social groups. I suggest that you do some searching around to see what is available.

      In many cases, a proactive approach serves better than a passive one. You can search for members who may be close to your area by clicking on Social in the menu and then Member Directory.

      Let us know what you find.

    • #134259

      Good morning Hannah,

      Welcome to TGH! I am an 74 year old transgender female and I found myself in a situation like yours some 40 years ago.  I can relate to your situation and I can tell you that you are not alone.  There are many here that can relate to your situation and are here to support you.


    • #134257
      Ray andrew

      I’m also new here. I’m an older American, but happily married to a younger Cambodian woman with a wonderful baby. I dare not come out of the closet and risk destroying my marriage, but my wife knows pretty much who and what I am and accepts it, as long as I don’t rub her nose in it. Needless to say, I can’t discuss the intricate psychology that I experience, but would love to air my thoughts and hear your thoughts on all related matters.


    • #134247


      Perhaps by reading posts and joining chats you’ll learn some things for your situation.

      Do you live in the states or elsewhere?

      I’m much older than you and just couldn’t hide my true self any longer, and therefore starting about 2020 I mindfully, that is doing things that made sense to help me along without setting off dynamite in my wake to try to hurt others, started moving forward revealing and living who I am.

      I had commitments, commitments I had made and was not forced to make, for many years, those being marriage and children. When the kids were making it on their own and I retired, I must have been somehow magically freed, to some extent. I say to some extent because my attempt has been not to hurt loved ones because of my desire to present the girl which resides inside.  Despite my attempt not to cause problems for family and even myself, difficulties still happen.

      A lot of what I said may sound somewhat unclear. I hope it wasn’t.  Could luck and feel free to stay in touch.

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